Breaking Point

Ever so often I hit a low. I assume we all do. You have doubts, regrets, sadness, emptiness ... any feeling that puts your spirit at an all time low. I really can't complain. My life has been pretty fruitful. But we all experience challenges. My grandmother died almost 20 years ago and I still mourn her loss. That lady was everything to me. I didn't realize that until I got older. She really shaped who I am today. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and they have always loved and supported me. They were young when they had me, but no matter what challenges they faced, they made sure that I had. Even if they weren't the ones that gave it to me.

So in addition to the emptiness I feel about my grandmother and a couple other personal issues, I'm just tired, mentally and physically. The whole back and forth thing, from MD to NY, lugging bags and the ultimate ... asking friends can I crash with them. While I can't expect them to understand every time I need a place to stay, it still feels like a burden to not only stay with them, but to just ask. I've been lied to and given elaborate stories even. LOL. As I write this I can't help but laugh. People are funny.

So with a mix of emotions that started on Thursday night. I got my crying, screaming, kicking and yelling on. I threw myself a big pity party. I strolled in with violins playing, grabbed my box of tissues and got my party on. Today ... I'm good. I know what I have to do and I'm going to do it. Enough is enough. What I experienced yesterday helped me release the fear and worry built up inside. It was a breaking point. You have to have those ever so often to help you move on from all the mess. "Without Struggle, There's No Progress."

I can't expect anyone else to understand my situation. I just can't. Everybody has their own situations going on. But what I can tell you is that this whole process had pointed out some things about myself. Some things I've done and I've gained a better perspective. "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." or better yet, "What goes around, comes around."
I've made some people feel uncomfortable, I've hurt feelings and been dishonest. Don't judge me. LOL.

These experiences have helped shaped me. It's showed me how strong I am and through it all, I persevere. I persevere.

Until Next Time ... Be the person you would like others to be to you.