The industry has been quite slow. Talking to my fellow actors and models, its not just been slow for me but them as well. It seems more of what's going on in the industry and not my lack of talent or how I look. However, I have been on quite a few auditions and the bookings aren't coming in as much as I would like. But that is the nature of the business. You would think I'd be used to it by now. But eventhough I understand it, your mind can start to play tricks on you and send you spiraling down into a less than confident, worry wart.
In the last month or so, I've created a mini library for myself. When I was younger I used to read alot, I even created a book in class for a project. I got so many wonderful reviews on that book. I guess that book rooted my decision to major in journalism. I've written poetry also. So this down time has brought me back to that creative side of myself. I've been reading a lot more. Delving into scriptures, self-help, daily regimens as well as journaling and trying to stay on top of my blog.
I have so many books to read now, I'm not sure if I should just try to get through one or give them all some amount of my attention on a daily basis. Now my major was in BROADCAST journalism, so the television can somewhat stand in the way of the reading I should be doing. As I'm entering this blog, the TV is on. But I am getting better. Some of the books I've tried to read in the past just didn't seem to keep my interest, but I'm sure life and maturity are helping me to realize that there's so much more to know that's NOT on the tube. Circumstances create creativity. They can open your mind to so many other possibilities and down so many other roads.
I'm enjoying this down time ... somewhat : ) It is a wonderful thing to have knowledge of so many new things. To disagree, agree, ponder, use or share all the letters, words and meanings your mind is taking in. Sometimes I wonder how will I remember all of this. I write notes and highlight. But I believe I will remember whats important to my life and my circumstances.
Even though I'm not booked working, I am booked with reading! Reading is fundamental ya know. ;)
Until next time ... Go get a good book ... use your down time wisely.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
RAY of Light
This blog initially was to chronicle my journey as I pursue (now doing) the career of my dreams. But that journey has also included things going on in my personal life. Although I'm very private about the personal, here I invite others in by sharing what I think is necessary to help me deal with things going on in my own life or to possibly help others get through similar things going on in their lives. Maybe motivate them to pursue a dream, find their peace or just feel better.
I had stopped blogging for a while. Not intentionally. It just kind of fell by the waist side and other things started taking precedence. Including, me allowing an overwhelming amount of sadness and negative feelings to star in my play of life. As I grow in my journey and process all that has happened, TODAY a light bulb turned on, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, my RAY of light had made its presence known. It has always been there but with clouds of guilt, doubt and fear hanging over my head, following me into the next scene of my life, that light was flickering in the wind.
We all want to be happy. We often look for some thing or some one for that happiness. But when in reality it is up to us to create our own happiness. Happiness is a journey not a destination. Its not something to be in pursuit of. It's just something we have to choose.
To choose to be in a negative state of thinking is to choose to have a victim mentality. Who wants to go around for the rest of their lives claiming to be a victim. NO, claim the VICtory! God did not bring you hear to be born into a life of misery. You can create the scenes of your life. You can create your happiness. "As you begin your journey, it helps to understand that what you are engaging in is nothing more or less than mind training, the creation of new habits of thought that in turn generate positive feelings."
To my friend who inspired this insert, thank you for sharing your light with me so I can start re-creating the scenes of my life. The life GOD intended for me.
Until next time, GO claim your RAY of light and let it shine shine shine.
I had stopped blogging for a while. Not intentionally. It just kind of fell by the waist side and other things started taking precedence. Including, me allowing an overwhelming amount of sadness and negative feelings to star in my play of life. As I grow in my journey and process all that has happened, TODAY a light bulb turned on, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, my RAY of light had made its presence known. It has always been there but with clouds of guilt, doubt and fear hanging over my head, following me into the next scene of my life, that light was flickering in the wind.
We all want to be happy. We often look for some thing or some one for that happiness. But when in reality it is up to us to create our own happiness. Happiness is a journey not a destination. Its not something to be in pursuit of. It's just something we have to choose.
To choose to be in a negative state of thinking is to choose to have a victim mentality. Who wants to go around for the rest of their lives claiming to be a victim. NO, claim the VICtory! God did not bring you hear to be born into a life of misery. You can create the scenes of your life. You can create your happiness. "As you begin your journey, it helps to understand that what you are engaging in is nothing more or less than mind training, the creation of new habits of thought that in turn generate positive feelings."
To my friend who inspired this insert, thank you for sharing your light with me so I can start re-creating the scenes of my life. The life GOD intended for me.
Until next time, GO claim your RAY of light and let it shine shine shine.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Trust Your Decisions
I have to admit, although I'm always trying to focus on my rainbow in the clouds, its difficult at times. Things have changed for me in the last 4 months. Changes that have sort of turned my world around. As soon as I'm good enough to be ok, I get turned on my head again. Constantly wondering if the decisions I've made in the last 4 months have been good ones.
Fear and doubt can always seem to find there way into my mind and heart causing me to second guess myself. One thing for certain, I cannot second guess GOD. I have got to get in a place where I absolutely trust, that no matter what decisions I make or have made, that I am in good hands. GOD has my back. And as long as I continue to seek him, he will lead me in the right direction even it means me getting a little turned around or lost along the way.
Tears have become a part of my makeup. I'm naturally an emotional person but wooo weee, I have cried more times than I care to count. But its the best way for me to get through the tough times. A good cry helps me deal. I'm surprised I even have any tears left. LOL. But sometimes, I think "what in the world are you crying for?"
The cry doesn't make whatever I'm crying about just go away, but I do feel some sense of relief. And a lot of times thats all you really want at the moment. Even if you can't really pinpoint what the heck you're crying about in the first place.
So its obvious I'm still dealing emotionally with some situations very close to my heart. I continue to stay in prayer and trust my instincts, which I believe really is GOD giving me guidance and ultimately the answer I need at that particular time. A lot of times decisions we make affect other people. That can be good or bad, depending on how you look at it but sometimes the best decision for you can be the best solution for the person it directly affects.
'Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or a greater Benefit."
-Napolean Hill
Until Next time .... TRUST in your decisions, find PEACE in them ... and let God handle the rest!
Fear and doubt can always seem to find there way into my mind and heart causing me to second guess myself. One thing for certain, I cannot second guess GOD. I have got to get in a place where I absolutely trust, that no matter what decisions I make or have made, that I am in good hands. GOD has my back. And as long as I continue to seek him, he will lead me in the right direction even it means me getting a little turned around or lost along the way.
Tears have become a part of my makeup. I'm naturally an emotional person but wooo weee, I have cried more times than I care to count. But its the best way for me to get through the tough times. A good cry helps me deal. I'm surprised I even have any tears left. LOL. But sometimes, I think "what in the world are you crying for?"
The cry doesn't make whatever I'm crying about just go away, but I do feel some sense of relief. And a lot of times thats all you really want at the moment. Even if you can't really pinpoint what the heck you're crying about in the first place.
So its obvious I'm still dealing emotionally with some situations very close to my heart. I continue to stay in prayer and trust my instincts, which I believe really is GOD giving me guidance and ultimately the answer I need at that particular time. A lot of times decisions we make affect other people. That can be good or bad, depending on how you look at it but sometimes the best decision for you can be the best solution for the person it directly affects.
'Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or a greater Benefit."
-Napolean Hill
Until Next time .... TRUST in your decisions, find PEACE in them ... and let God handle the rest!
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