In just four days I will be embarking on a new decade of life. I will, by the grace of GOD be turning 40 years old. Its pretty amazing to me that 40 years of my life have passed so quickly. We as children want so badly to be grown and do things our older siblings or family are doing and before you know it we have reached the age of legality and soon after we have careers, are married, having children, becoming aunts and uncles, buying homes and taking care of our parents. Life is coming full circle.
I have been so very blessed in my 39 years. I've experienced happiness, sadness, disappointment, heartbreak, highs and lows. Life is so amazing. Though, there is the inevitable ... death. I miss my family members and friends that have passed. I miss them so much. Its been over 20 years since my maternal grandmother's passing and I still grieve. You never get over it. Even loved ones you no longer have friendships with you miss them but everything is not meant to last forever. Even in knowing that ... its so hard to let go of what once was. These people were apart of your life for years and then they are just ... Gone.
I pray to GOD that he gives me strength in such situations. To help me get through knowing that everything will be OK. I imagine if I live another 40 years I will always be in prayer ... praying for some of the same things but thanking GOD for helping me through and living in the moment, appreciating what is now but thankful for what was as it has helped me become the person I am today.
WOW. 40! No one ever believes I'm as old as I am. Its pretty flattering but the reality is I am and I still have so far to go. So much more to learn. So much more to do. So much more to love. So much more to see. So much more to BE. So many people don't make it this far so I have to believe that I'm still here for a reason. I don't know when the Lord will call me home ... but I want HIM to say well done. I don't want it to be any question that I didn't do my best while here on this earth. I don't want any regrets.
Thus far, I've been able to step out on faith and do the things I want to do. I bought a house. I quit my office job to become a professional full-time commercial actress and print model in New York City. I let go of some relationships that weren't healthy. I reconnected with some old friends and picked up with them as if we were never separated for 20 years. I've changed some of my ways and I've let go of letting other's people bull bother me. I'm still a work in progress ... whooo Lord... HELP ME!!! So much more I need to work on internally but I'm trying y'all.
I'm not married ... YET. I don't have any children ... YET! Those things don't put me in a box but gives more to look forward to. All that GOD has promised for me is going to happen in HIS time. Don't worry about whether I'm married, if I'm gonna have kids, or if I'm wealthy ... I'm HAPPY!!! And I'm working on more HAPPY! The bigger picture is if I'm not already happy in my life none of those other things will make me. I want those things to ADD to my happiness. I don't want what others have ... I want what GOD has FOR ME!
I don't regret not settling for any guy because I NEED a man, I don't regret quitting my 9 to 5 job at 33 years of age because I NEED a job to pay my bills, I don't regret BEING HONEST with how I felt about how people have treated me, I don't regret NOT GIVING up in a business that can chew you up and spit you out, I don't regret not getting pregnant at a young age and being that "fly" momma when I'm 40 ... I'm gonna be fly at 60! Ya heard!
So everyone who is comparing themselves with others ... STOP IT!! #1 BE HAPPY that you woke up this morning with the breath of LIFE in you. #2 BE THANKFUL for the people who love you and are still around to tell you so #3 BE VULNERABLE. It's the only way you will fully LOVE. Don't be scared about getting hurt or looking stupid. There's a blessing in the lesson. #4 BE YOURSELF! There will never be another you. Be true to the person GOD created you to be. #5 GO AFTER YOUR DREAMS ... I DON'T CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE! #5 THE DEVIL IS A LIAR #6 CRY UNTIL YOU FEEL BETTER #7 TAKE CARE of yourself. Mentally, Physically and Spiritually. Eat healthy and exercise. #8 BE KIND #9 PRAY #10 THANK GOD EVERYDAY, ALL THE TIME, WHEREVER YOU ARE.
I'm so thankful about what GOD has done for me! What HE is doing and will continue to do. I am looking forward to new beginnings and a renewed sense of being in my 40's. I can't wait to share with you the good, the bad and the ugly. Let the journey begin!
Until then ... I wish you all a very Happy NEW YEAR!!! Praying PROSPERITY, LOVE, HEALTH AND PEACE for you in the New Year!!
Proverbs 4:10
Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. (NIV)
Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. (NIV)
Proverbs 9:11
For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. (NIV)
For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. (NIV)
