Wednesday, July 28, 2010

It Could've Been/Could Be Worse

As I embark on a new chapter in my journey to be a successful model, actress and host, I was reminded this evening, even through all the ups and downs, crying, worry and self-pity, my experiences leading up to this point could have been worse.

Over a meal, with a friend who is also in the business, she revealed a part of her journey that I was not aware of. My mouth literally dropped and my eyes popped as she told stories of nights she didn't know where she was going to stay, where she thought about staying or where she wind up staying. : O I couldn't believe it. This woman was/is brave! I could not imagine having the nerve to stand up to some of the situations and decisions she faced. But sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

All she endured and how she's come through, was just another clarification to me from GOD, that everything is going to be ok and basically to stop all the whining missy! It's late, but I just had to pop on the computer and remind myself and all who are reading, that despite what you think you're going through, somebody's journey, process, season or situation is or may be worse. Not that that's something to revel in, but it helps me appreciate that fact that, well, IT COULD BE WORSE.

Each day I fight. Some days harder than other's. I will make it through because I always do. And so will you. Did I just rhyme? LOL. Keep on pushing ... keep on striving ... "keep rising to the top, while my mind says give it all ya got give it all ya got!

Until Next Time ... Appreciate what you do have and stop worrying about what you don't have. Good Night~ *YAWN*

Monday, July 26, 2010

My Testimony

Today is Monday... already. A few days home and tomorrow I'm back to NYC. I subscribe to Streamingfaith.com, a christian based website that sends daily devotionals. I have over 200 of these devotionals sitting in a folder, waiting to be read. I decided a few weeks ago that I would wake up each morning and read at least 5 of them so I could try to catch up. Needless to say, that hasn't been happening.

Today proved different. I turned on my computer to check out an email someone sent me. Before I knew it, I was reading a devotional. What caught my eye was the word TESTIMONY. Usually, an entire week will be surrounded by a certain theme. The 5 I wind up reading all had to do with TESTIMONY. As I began reading, of course, it hit home. Ironic? No! Just the power of GOD and how and where he moves us to open our spirits to HIS presence and his working in our lives. Those messages were for me, right then.

As I've gotten older I've come to realize that GOD allows challenges, storms or struggles in your life to bring you closer to HIM. At least that's what I believe. Often times we can get so caught up in ourselves that we don't realize that GOD is always with us, guiding us through it all.

I got real caught up in ME this weekend. Feeling sorry for myself when I know that GOD has this think under control. But I'm human. I've also not been up to par with praying and meditating. HE KNOWS that. HE knows just how to get you back on track, hence the pity party I gave myself. In my reading, I came across this, "When HE presses down on our lives, GOD tends to break up those things we have relied upon for so long."

Which brings me to the 3 and half years I've relied on others to open their homes to me as I crashed on their futons and air mattresses, ate some of their food, sucked in their heat and AC, watched their televisions, used their water, towels, wash clothes and invaded their privacy. That whole process is now very uncomfortable for me. It's time for me to move on. I can't continue to rely or expect them to do this for me. I'm a grown woman making grown up decisions that affect me but should not have to affect everyone else. It's time to move on. GOD has made that very clear.

Will it be challenging? YES? But I've always made it through. ALWAYS. EVERY TIME. ALL THE TIME. I can't rely on people. I have to rely on GOD. HE's the only one that is consistent and constant. So why would I expect more from anyone other than the only ONE in control.

I wonder sometimes why I wasn't as "fortunate" as others that have family that live in other places. All of my family is here in DC. Except for my dad, who lives in SC now. But there's nothing going on in SC. LOL. Why couldn't I have a family living in NY? Why couldn't' t I have parents with loads of money, so they can help me get a place in NY? Why can't my career take off as quickly as I would like? Why? Why? Why?

I wasn't given all these material things but I was given a testimony! "We are given the power of eyewitness testimony to persuade others of GOD's grace, love and mercy and to encourage others. Let's be alert of the opportunities that GOD will give us to tell of our story of HIS working in our lives." That's pretty awesome. My story can encourage someone and through all the challenges they may face, I can say, "hey you'll make it through because I have, let me tell you why." WHAAAT? That's powerful! I AM very fortunate!

Embrace the struggles. "Understand that struggle serves as crucial evidence that GOD is near." "As long as you stay in the struggle, so will GOD." Your struggles give you a testimony.

Until Next Time ... GO OUT AND SHARE YOUR TESTIMONY!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Breaking Point

Ever so often I hit a low. I assume we all do. You have doubts, regrets, sadness, emptiness ... any feeling that puts your spirit at an all time low. I really can't complain. My life has been pretty fruitful. But we all experience challenges. My grandmother died almost 20 years ago and I still mourn her loss. That lady was everything to me. I didn't realize that until I got older. She really shaped who I am today. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and they have always loved and supported me. They were young when they had me, but no matter what challenges they faced, they made sure that I had. Even if they weren't the ones that gave it to me.

So in addition to the emptiness I feel about my grandmother and a couple other personal issues, I'm just tired, mentally and physically. The whole back and forth thing, from MD to NY, lugging bags and the ultimate ... asking friends can I crash with them. While I can't expect them to understand every time I need a place to stay, it still feels like a burden to not only stay with them, but to just ask. I've been lied to and given elaborate stories even. LOL. As I write this I can't help but laugh. People are funny.

So with a mix of emotions that started on Thursday night. I got my crying, screaming, kicking and yelling on. I threw myself a big pity party. I strolled in with violins playing, grabbed my box of tissues and got my party on. Today ... I'm good. I know what I have to do and I'm going to do it. Enough is enough. What I experienced yesterday helped me release the fear and worry built up inside. It was a breaking point. You have to have those ever so often to help you move on from all the mess. "Without Struggle, There's No Progress."

I can't expect anyone else to understand my situation. I just can't. Everybody has their own situations going on. But what I can tell you is that this whole process had pointed out some things about myself. Some things I've done and I've gained a better perspective. "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." or better yet, "What goes around, comes around."
I've made some people feel uncomfortable, I've hurt feelings and been dishonest. Don't judge me. LOL.

These experiences have helped shaped me. It's showed me how strong I am and through it all, I persevere. I persevere.

Until Next Time ... Be the person you would like others to be to you.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

There's No Place Like Home

As I sit and watch one of my favorite movies, "The Wiz", I'm reminded of how many days I have until I hit the road back to Maryland. TWO! With window AC's, mice, and hot subways, I realize how spoiled central air, a car and no rodents can make you.

Tuesday morning, I went to grab the iron board and a little mouse was chillin behind it. Scared the living heck out me. Last year I stayed at a friends house while she was out of town. The first night there I was sitting on her bed watching television while I was talking to a friend on the phone. I saw something run across the floor. I was like I know that ain't what I think it is. Then I saw that little sucker come out and dash across the floor into a closet. I got off the phone, packed my bags and rolled! I couldn't fathom staying in there with that thing. Suppose I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and it runs across my foot, or climbs up the bed and crawls across my mouth or something. No sir-ree. I was out of there.

This time it was different. Although I was hesitant to come back to the apartment, I decided to suck it up and face little Mickey. After coming to terms with the situation and arriving back to the building, I walk up to the 3rd floor, where my aunts apartment is and I see another little mouse run into her neighbors apartment. OMG! Thanks! Now I'm back to being a nervous wreck. I come in the apartment slow, turn on all the lights and look around. I don't really want to go looking because you know when you do, you always find. I'm just saying to myself, please stay in your little hole, where ever you've been chillin', and give me some piece of mind.

I called my aunt earlier that day to let her know I'd saw the mouse. I've been coming here for 3 and half years now, and have never seen a mouse. So I wanted to let her know in case she needed to call the Super. She explained to me that the people moved out of the apartment across the hall, so they've been doing work in there so whatever is up in there is scattering every where else. Don't get me wrong, I'm aware that mice and rats reside in NYC, but I'm used to seeing them in a subway station. And that's where they need to stay. I later found that there is something like 12 rats to one person in NYC. That's enough for me to think about looking into another profession. But let me let you know right now, had there been a rat up in here, I would have been out of here too!

Day 2, and I'm still a little uneasy, but hey I'm dealing with it. I'm going to stay at one of my girlfriends house tomorrow night so I'm sure my nerves will ease significantly. LOL. I'm in the living room and I keep looking out into the other sitting area as if something is going to run across the floor any minute now. Is it Thursday yet?

Don't get me wrong. I am so thankful that I am able to have a few options to lay my head when I'm in town and a little mouse should be the least of my concerns. I'm a work in progress. Yall just keep me in prayer. Last night, I took a deep breath, said a prayer and slept like a baby. When I woke up, that mouse was on my mind, but I did what I had to do and kept it moving.

Tomorrow I'll be hanging out with my girlfriend who turns 30 on Sunday. She's having a little celebration get together here in NYC and in DC on Sunday. We'll be celebrating a new era of her life and in addition, I'll be celebrating my voyage back HOME!!!! Count down!

DON'T WAIT UNTIL NEXT TIME ... COME GET THIS MOUSE OUTTA HEA! : (

Monday, July 19, 2010

Busy Away From Home

I wake up early Sunday morning. Wash, get dressed, grab my bag and head to the 2. There was a train in the station when I got there. When the train pulls out, I take a drink of my water. An older man asks if he can have a sip. Little did I know me entertaining his question would leave to a whole praise and worship service all the way to the 6 train at Fulton Street where I have to transfer.

I entertain him for about a minute, he's going on and on, I reach in my bag and grab my headphones, stick them in and turn on my gospel mix. He proceeds with his sermon, but I tune him out. At least I try. He projects louder and louder. Come on Fulton Street.

My call time for my Target shoot was 830am. It was in Spanish Harlem. East 117th street to be exact. I had to take two trains and journey an hour and half to get there. I actually got there in an hour so I was super early to the store. Better early than late right. The store is not open so I have to call my contact person to have them meet me at the employees entrance to take me back to the holding location. I didn't realize til it was my turn to shoot, that the store is brand new. Not only is it not open due to store hours its not open period. It doesn't open until Wednesday.

The store is huge. It has the grocery section too. I would definitely have a good time in that store. If I'm in any state and I see a Target, I'm going in just because. I just love that store. So I have husband for the shoot. Dante. He's a cool dude. Tall and thin with a mocha complexion. We have good chemistry on the set which the client loves. I also parlay a few questions about how to get the TV and print ads for Target. I mean of course I know...you have to go to a casting and book it...but yall know I gotta take opportunities when they present themselves.

What we were shooting was some internal stuff for corporate. But our pictures were too cute. They've gotta just look at these and wonder why in the world they haven't booked us for some big campaign, right? Let's hope. ; )

The shoot takes 3 hours and I'm out, on my way back to Brooklyn on my little field trip. It's hot as beans outside. I have to walk at least 4 or 5 blocks to the train. I bear the heat and the passes a few men throw at me. I'm like really? This one guy was like "you're so beautiful, oooh and you sweat so good." Really? I wasn't even sweating though. Would someone really feed into that? Just nasty.

I make it back to BK, stop by Starbucks to grab me a marble cake and to Quiznos for the two for 5.99. I get the chipotle turkey sammie with a Cobb salad. Goodness, I tell you. I can't wait to get back to the house to tear it up because I'm hungry as heck plus I'm so exhausted. I eat but don't really wanna take a nap because I have another shoot to get up early for. I want to be dead tired to make sure I can get my butt to sleep. Alot of times its hard for me to get a good night's sleep before an early morning shoot. Anxiety? Anxiousness? I have no idea. But I wind up falling asleep for about an hour anyway. I just couldn't hold on.

Today I have to get up even earlier to catch the talent van in midtown by 615am. The shoot was in Rockland County, NY., about 45 minutes away from the city. We come to this huge property with a big white house on it, a shed that looks like a small house, and then another type of building in back of the shed. We head straight to craft services where I initially order a Turkey bacon and egg whites on wheat toast. But after seeing the pancakes my new husband is munching on, I decide to go back and get one.

The shoot was for a brand video for Tylenol. I had a new hubby and 2 children. A boy and a girl. I've been busy huh? It was a pretty big production to be just a video. But it's likely it will be picked up as a national commercial. We are all crossing our fingers.

Although we get there really early, the actual shoot part wasn't that long. After lunch we are wrapped so we leave the location about 130p. No shoot tomorrow, so I can sleep in later. I have set up a meeting and am working on some other things to maximize my time here. It's all about the maximizing of the time when I don't have any castings or bookings lined up. I'm hoping that's short lived. ; )

In writing this, I'm realizing I need to get to somebody's gym. I haven't worked out in a week. And I've not been eating the best. So in the mean time and in between time, I'll need to schedule some gym time. I've been staying in NY for 8 days now, and and I can't wait til Friday gets here so I can get home to see my family. Just kind of get back to some sense of normalcy. I mean me travelling is normal but I'm usually back home on the weekends. And I miss home. :(

I'm hopeful that this week will pick up. I may invest in a class if there's one that peaks my interest, but I'm going to do my best to stayed occupied. The heat is killing my roots. So may have to stop in to see Gillian down the street for a press and curl. LOL.

I'm tired. I'm gonna read a little and turn it in. I've had the house to myself for as long as I've been here. I've enjoyed it. My aunt will be back tomorrow. YAWWWN! That's my que. I'm out.

Until Next Time...Go Get in some time with Family cause ya never know how long you might have to be gone. ; )

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Embracing Opportunities

As much as I tried to keep my mental on track and focused, my flesh kept getting the best of me. My thinking cap was on snooze and my flesh was on it's own on time. I was late to every audition from Tuesday to today (Thursday). Even though it didn't much matter because they were all running behind schedule, I still like to be on time. Sometimes you have a time range and sometimes you have an actual appointment time. And for some reason this week, it was all about having an appointment.

Every morning I called myself being proactive with my business by doing productive things on the computer but the mornings would go a little something like this...email, text message, bbm, facebook, tv back to email and so on and so forth. I guess you can say I was multi-tasking. I learned in a business class last week, that multi-tasking is a lie. And whoever realized it first, ain't ever lied.

Maybe Tuesday's rain dance threw my equilibrium off because I just couldn't seem to focus on one particular goal at a time. On the train on my way to my only audition today I realized I was really gonna have to dig down deep, do some praying, self-reflecting and meditation to be able to hone in on some self-control.

I have been doing good about accomplishing the goals I've set, in the time-frame I've wanted to accomplish them, but they may not be at their fullest potential. I would love a do-over, take back some of the things I've done and said, managed my time a little better and been more focused. But of course, I can't do-over whats already been done. I can only pick up the pieces, deal with the rest of what the week will hand over and pray for a better turn out moving forward.

Wednesday after attending a callback for Tylenol that I found out I booked... YAY! I met up with a few friends at a charity event. It was at the Charles Nolan store in Chelsea. Really cute boutique that had a little bit of everything. Clothes, jewelry, shoes, handbags, vintage pieces, picture frames and a station set up with paints, brushes, stencils and glitter. Odd huh?

The event was being held to raise money for a children's organization called GOAL (Giving Open Access to Learning). The arts and crafts station had been set up earlier for a few kids to make some bags and masks to display in the store. Obviously, the organizers thought it would be a good idea to leave this station accessible to guests who were wanting to explore their creative side or bring bag childhood memories. *giggle* My friends and I grabbed a glass of wine and quickly took a place at the table.

Me and my friend BJ decided to do bags and Nia a wooden box she could put little trinkets in. BJ's bag turned out to be a tribute to her mom Tia that passed away from cancer and mine to my love of shoes and model persona. It was the best fun! I've done some coloring in the last few years but I haven't painted since grade school when we dipped our hands in paint and plastered them on a big white sheet of paper. LOL. I think everybody took that same masterpiece home to their parents.

It really brought out a side of me I hadn't embraced in a long time. I mean I act silly and childish with my nieces and nephews but its for their entertainment. But to be doing an activity like that outside of the children and for my own pleasure was fun and felt really normal. It definitely overshadowed the craziness from day before.

I did manage to do a little networking. Turning an interaction to an opportunity. Just what they taught in the class I took tonight. It opened up an opportunity for me to connect to others and bring in potential clients to my "other" business which is consulting. The class really helped bring out my lack of motivation to get this business rolling. The opportunities are there, I just need to take them. Being prepared is everything and a business card will go a long way. So glad I had plenty available to pass out. Vistaprint.com people!

I'm almost there. I just have to be consistent and constant. Stay on track and surround myself with opportunities even if that means painting my name on a bag. Who knows, the connection I made there may lead to my name on something else. We'll see.

I feel good!

Until Next Time ... Go Get Focused, Create Opportunities and Make it Happen!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Rain Dance

The rain never let up before I had to jet to the next audition. I put my jacket over my head and ran across the street to buy a $6 umbrella. I have some brown rubber Old Navy flip flops on which are better than having a good pair of shoes ruined in the rain. My feet get wet, but I also, avoid the likelihood of busting my butt on the ground.

I don't have my big suitcase, but I opted to bring a small rolly bag. It's made like a duffel bag but has wheels on it. I had 4, yes one came in last minute, auditions/castings today. So I needed to bring several clothing options to represent the products I was auditioning for. It would be impossible, dumb even to try to go back to Brooklyn to change clothes, so I had to bring everything I needed. In addition to my laptop and all I would usually carry in my purse, this bag was a one in all today. But the darn bag kept rolling off the wheels. That bag wore me out! It's not a suitcase, its a duffel bag on wheels. I don't think that concept really works though. :/

From the Starbucks I had to walk about a block and half to the R train. My bag got soaked. When I get inside the station I check the inside to make sure things are dry, and they are. Two stops down and I'm at my stop. Before I even get to the top of the stairs, I see its still pouring. I had to walk about 4 or 5 blocks to my casting. Great! The rain is coming down, my feet and legs are getting wet and my poor bag is getting soaked.

I have to stop and check my contents again to see if they are getting wet and they are. I have a dress wrapped in a plastic bag you get from the dry cleaners and decide to use it to wrap the duffel bag in. It was just the right size to cover the entire bag. I poke holes at the wheels and keep it moving. Finally, I make it there and get on the elevator. A tall blonde girl with an accent asks what floor the casting office is on. For some reason, she thinks its on the 3rd floor, but I assure here its on 10. She looks a little perplexed. She asks me if I'm a dancer. Nooo but if I had started early, I probably would have been one. Seriously. I tell her I'm a model and actress. For some reason actress stands out to her. "Ooooh you're an actress." Like I couldn't possibly be going on the same casting she's going on. Quickly and loud, I say "AND MODEL." Don't get it twisted missy because I'm not 8'12 like you. Hmmmh!

I get to 10 and decide to change into my bathing suit top in the hall and then finish up in the bathroom which is located inside the casting office. I like to be as prepared as possible before going in. You never know whats going on on the other side of that door.

I walk in, sign in and head straight to the restroom. There are about 5 girls already there waiting. We wind up waiting quite a while before we're seen. I strike up small talk with one young lady about the rain and her shoes being drenched. There are some really pretty girls there. More fashion type models. Sometimes when I get called to certain castings and there are more of that type there, I wonder why my agency even sent me. But I deserve to be there darn it! And my agency would not send me if they didn't think I had a good chance.

At this casting is when I get the call about another one lined up for me today. I decide to head there next as its on the East side and I'm already on that side of town. By this time, its evident that I'm going to miss my 2:40 appointment for the audition that was initially going to be my 3rd and final for the day. I send an email updating my agency and they tell me to just get there as soon as I can. I have until 430p.

The rain has let up by the time I leave. But as soon as I get to the corner, a light drizzle starts. I make it to the train station before it decides it wants to pour down again. Another 2 stops down, and I arrive at my stop. About 6 or 7 blocks in, the rain pouring again, the stupid bag flip flopping all over the place, my feet and legs, wet and dirty, sweating, and lord knows what my hair looks like, I arrive! The audition is in a small gallery. So I clean myself up a bit outside and change into some cute little heels. I go inside and wait my turn. Again, fashion models. I may not have the height, but I must certainly have the look. And that's obviously good enough.

On to the next. Back on the beaten path to the train and to my last audition for the day. At one point, I'm so exhausted and worn out, I have to (singing) "say a little prayer for meeeeee." I get a little turned around going back and wind up breaking the $8 necklace I bought yesterday. Are you frikin kidding me? Deep breath! I break one of the strands of beads and they are falling everywhere. I take the necklace off and throw it in my bag. I suck it up, realize I probably shouldn't have bought it in the first place and finish making my way to the train.

3 stops up and I'm headed to the my last adventure for the day. I sign in and again, I head straight to the bathroom. My shorts are wet and my cute little shirt has managed to grow two small holes in it so I decide to change into a little blue dress and a tan jacket. Plus, I wanted to look more put together.

I went into the audition about 20 minutes later, knocked it out, changed back into my shorts and flip flops and headed to the 2 train back to Brooklyn. By this time I was in the mood for a drink but I couldn't wait to get back to the house to just relax. On my way to the train, I get a call that I booked a casting I went on last week for Target. It's not the Target deal I want, but I gotta start somewhere. It's for some internal stuff. So my plan is to stand out at this shoot. It could lead to some major advertisement. And that's exactly what I'm gonna get.

I shared my experience today with a friend who's very successful in his modeling career. I told him about the Target deal and this is what he told me. He said "you put little thought into Target and you got a small token of what you put in." Say whaaaaat? I love it! As he put it, "you have to visualize your sh**!" I do have a vision board but the vision certainly can't stay there. Thanks Super Dre!

Until next time ... Don't just GO GET IT ... Visualize yo' sh**! ; )

Good Service

I go into my first audition today pretty confident ... and I do pretty good. I found out afterwards that they are booking talent today for Thursday. As I mentioned yesterday, I'm already holding for a client I went to see last week. If I've never explained it, when someone places you on hold, it means that you are what they are looking for and you are being highly considered for the job. The job is a good one too ... McCormick Spices.

So I decide to call my agency to find out if I'm still holding for this particular job. I find out I've been released. Like when did you find that out? Hanging on to hope and prayer and these people can't find the time to type an email or give you a call to let you know that you can free your mind because you didn't book the job.

I'm a little bummed, but I can't be consumed with it. I stop by Old Navy to return a swimsuit top I bought for an audition today. I found something better so its imperative I get that money back in my account. It was only $9 but that's a meal, well more like a bottled water in NYC. LOL. Everytime I go into this Old Navy the lines are wrapped. This location is really big so they have registers on all 4 floors.

I find an associate to ask if any of the registers are open upstairs. I'm trying to get in and out. The first girl doesn't know so she asks another associate, and she doesn't know either because "she hasn't been upstairs yet." But she says it with a little attitude as if I, the customer shouldn't be asking her this question. Ok whats wrong with this picture? I wanted to be like BEE-OTCH find a walkie talkie and find out. But I take my little pause before my Ms. Who the Hell Are You Talking To comes out and walk back to the main register and stand in the long line.

It actually moved pretty fast. I was in and out. I also needed to go return a little dress I bought. I was planning on wearing that to the audition as well. I didn't try it on in the store and when I got home, I just wasn't feeling it. Besides I didn't need it anyway. I'm on a mission remember. And that includes not buying anything for at least 2 months unless absolutely necessary. I did, however, keep the necklace I bought. It was only $8. :/ Baby steps people. LOL.

I see the young lady that rang me up yesterday. She looks at me with a smirky smile. Yesterday when she was ringing me up, she asked had I tried on the dress I was purchasing. It was cute. I hadn't but it's not a crime not to. So immediately, she's like "didn't I ask you if you tried on the dress yesterday?" I'm like "I know I know...it just didn't work out". But ummm, who are you talking to? She didn't say it in a mean or negative way, but still. I am the customer. No the customer is not always right. But I've done nothing wrong and Ima need you not to be asking me about what I did and didn't do. Just do the return bama!

She does the return and gives me the receipt with the item returned but not the original receipt with both items. I ask her for the original. Most stores will staple the original with the return receipt. So she's like "you're gonna return the necklace"? Mind you, I have the necklace on. It doesn't matter if I'm wearing the necklace. I want my receipt. Maybe I need it for my records. Maybe I wanna wipe my butt with it. But whatever the reason, I want it and you need to oblige. She does but is marking all this stuff on the receipt. I'm like, whatever makes you feel like you're doing your job lady. An $8 necklace is not that serious.

But what is wrong with people in the service industry? I can't get an agent to update me on a booking, I can't get an associate to check to see if there is a shorter line in another area of the store and I can't frikin get my original receipt? All, which is not asking too much. The agent expects me to update them on my schedule and conflicts and both associates expect me to follow the policies the stores they work for have in place. But I guess everyone's expectations are different.

When I'm done, I head to Starbucks to heal my wounds with a tall caramel frap, light, but still with whip and a pumpkin loaf. I feel better already just thinking about it.

On the way to Starbucks, I get a call from my NC agency. They want to check my availability for a booking on Thursday or Friday. Wow. Look at that! Where one falls, there's another. I have a class and an event lined up on that day but hey, I'll definitely take the booking! See the advantage of being represented in different areas. Increases opportunity! And I likes opportunity. : )

I wanna head to the larger Starbucks on 38th but opt to try the one on 35th. Seating is usually a bit difficult but I was able to find a good spot by the window. I order my caramel frap only for the girl to make a mocha frap. LAWD! But no worries, I wait a few minutes for them to get it right and I land in my blog early today.

I felt it necessary to remind myself and anyone else who may be reading this blog, that whatever service you are offering, make sure you are offering the best. You never know who's watching you or who you're servicing. When you offer the very best, you stand out, even its picking up trash. Love what you do because if you don't, your attitude will reflect it and your opportunities will deflect to someone else who's giving their best.

I have two more auditions to attend. And I'm feeling good! Except I'm sitting in Starbucks and it's pouring. I've really got to trust my intuition. I started to go back and get my umbrella before heading to the train this morning, but I was already running late so I decided to just keep it moving. Now I'll have to spend a few dollars for an umbrella. Luckily, there is a spot directly across the street selling them. I hope it slows down or just stops in the next 20 minutes though. My feet and legs are gonna get soaked.

Until Next Time or Maybe Later... Be Your Best While Going to Get It!

Monday, July 12, 2010

UP and AT 'EM!

5:00AM! Snooze. 515AM! Finally I make my way out of bed with only a few hours of sleep. I caught the 7AM bus back up to NYC. With only an agency appointment today, I'm desiring a busy week. I was moving a little slow this morning, but the wheels were turning in my head about WHAT'S NEXT? I'm on this entrepreneurial high and there's no stopping.

Struggling to get up so early can also cut out time to stop and pick up breakfast, but money is tight so I have just enough time to whip up a turkey bacon and egg white sandwich for the ride up. I also manage to cut up a nice crisp apple. However, the bus driver announced she'd be making a 15 minute stop along the NJ Turnpike, so I'll be able to load up on a few snacks for the rest of the ride. I wind up buying my favorite Planters Trail Mix (Nuts, Seeds and Raisins) and a ice cold Snapple iced tea.

My bus driver's name was Nefertiti King. Lucking up with a row to myself and a name like that, this week is destined to be great! LOL. But the sandwich I fixed ... there was nothing great about it. YUK!! WTH? Now there's not too many people that can mess up a simple breakfast sandwich, including myself. But that sandwich there, was not right. I wind up spitting out the last bite thinking I might get sick. I think some part of that sandwich expired. And its remains expired to the trash.

I'm hardly ever home so grocery shopping is minimal. But I'm usually good about checking dates and throwing things out. Obviously, I overlooked something. :/ I had to take a bite into my apple chunks early to get the nasty taste out of my mouth from that bland-wich.

Soon after, I throw the plugs in and decide to catch up on a few Z's. Thank GOD the bus was nice and quiet. Usually an early bus is. Everyone had to get up at the breaka breaka dawn to catch the darn thing. So sleep ... is inevitable. But before I can head to snoozeville, I notice the girl across from me is sleeping with her head in her arms. Imagine Samantha from Bewitched. What in the world? Is that comfortable? Is she crazy? Or is this one more sign of the great week ahead. So I decide to make 3 wishes and head to La La land.

This week I'm staying in Brooklyn. Got the place to myself too. My aunt (my sisters mother-in-law) is travelling with my sister and her family to Disney for my nieces track competition and vacation. So I'll be holding it down in Flatbush for the week.

I hit the city and head straight to one of my agencies to store my luggage. Not a bag but luggage. It's like Coming to America when I come in town. So thank GOD, one of my agency directors allows me to store my stuff whenever I need to. She's the bestest! Love you Mykola! ; )

I go over a few things with her and head to my appointment with another agency. The meeting goes well and I end up with more represenation on my roster. More opportunity for more work! Afterwards, I meet up with one of my home skillets for sushi at our favorite very inexpensive spots. Then I had a few errands to take care of, I head to BK, drop my bags off at the crib, head to target to stock up on my meals and treats for the week and catch the finale of the Housewives of NJ. Off the chain!

Now this is a treat for me. Back home I don't have cable so I get to see all the cable shows when I'm here. I can get really wrapped up in it and lose track of time but I can't get sidetracked. I barely watch tv at home so I can't lose my mind watching cable. So I mute the tv to take care of some things on the computer and of course, add an insert for my followers and any and all who stop by. But now, it's time for me to partake in some sleepation so I can get some revitalization for some motivation in the morning. LOL. In other words, time for bed!

I have a busy day tomorrow. 3 castings! Woo hoo. I've been holding for a job that shoots on Thursday since last week and I've not heard anything so we'll see. I also got another hold for another job that shoots on Sunday. Thats how it works people. Sometimes you'll be holding for something and the agency never even calls you to let you know you've been released. I usually put in a call to the agency, especially if another client is trying to book me on the same day. But I'm gonna chill on this one and see how the cookie crumbles. Whats for me is for me!

But things are looking bright! Wish me luck folks!

Until next time Go Get IT and Expect the Very Best!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Gotta Start Somewhere

This weekend was pretty productive. With a mission in motion and a ton of goals I WILL ACCOMPLISH, I had to start somewhere. MY BEDROOM. I decided to change it around. I'm so used to the same ole comfortable arrangement, I figured because I was on this mission to change my way of thinking and get things moving in my career, on my own terms, my room could use a face-lift. I absolutely love it!!! My bed is now facing my windows which are a pretty nice size. Outside of that window are nice bushy trees to wake up to. It's sort of tranquil. As soon as I wake up, I can see GOD's blue sky and these bushy green trees. Immediately I can THANK HIM for another day. Another day to go at it again. Another day to spend time with family. Another day ... period.

Re-arranging my room was pretty much my day on Saturday. It wasn't a goal I'd previously set, but it became one and I accomplished it. Check! Earlier that morning, I started a couple loads of clothes, dropped off a couple bags of clothing and shoes at the salvation army, went to Fed Ex Kinko's to send off a package and make copies. There, a really nice young man assisted me. I'd seen him the last time I went there. He paid me a really nice compliment. But that day I was looking pretty regular. No make up, a hat, some cut offs and my rain boots. Heyyy, it was raining! But I made it work. We worked up a conversation. I found that he was working on becoming a make up artist and hair stylist. So with my "pursue your dream experience", I put on my "motivation hat" and urged him to "HOLD ON TO IT"! Concieve it, Believe it and you will Achieve it.

Having conversations like that always makes me feel good. Not because I'm motivating someone to go after what they desire but because I was that person and I did it. I have a story to tell. And that feels good to tell a success story. I'm still floating along in my journey, but I have my faith as my life preserver and it keeps me going for it. I want it and I SHALL have it!

Next! The Laundromat Files. LOL. I head to the laundromat to wash two of my comforters. I hadn't been to the laundromat in like 15 years. I go in with my two comforters and I feel like I don't belong. All the patrons were Hispanic. I was a little taken aback. Not because they were all Hispanic but because they were looking at me like "who the heck is this walking up in our laundromat?" LOL. I kindly strolled to the back.

When I get back there, I'm like which one is the dryer and which is the washing machine. It took me a minute to figure it out people and then it took me 5 more minutes to figure out how to use the darn thing. Not to mention, I only had a $20 bill, so I wind up with $20 in quarters. WTH? Finally, after putting in probably too much detergent I get the load going. Then I see a sign that says, "please don't use a lot of detergent because most are double concentrated." OMG. So I tried to scoop some out with the detergent top but it was too big. So I run over to McDonald's (next door) to get a small cup while also ordering a medium fry. Greedy. I run back over to try to scoop some of the detergent out, but it had already gone into the load. :/ Oh well. At least they'll be super clean. :)

In addition, I had to reach for the step stool on top of the machine just so I could put the darn detergent in. As soon as I walked in with my cup, this guy grabs it and takes it to the other side. So I was jumping up and down trying to look in the compartment to see if it had gone in the load yet. This was quite the experience. But I should have things down pact when and if I go again. But the comforters came out great! I couldn't wait to get one of them on my bed in my newly arranged room.

The entire day or weekend for that matter, was not typical. As normally, I'm not on any mission to do anything but sleep...get some rest. NYC wears me out. But I'm excited and whether its putting business plans in motion or moving furniture, my mind was working. Changing my room restored some order in my life but also got me to thinking about so many possibilities. Changing my mindset to change my results.

So whether its convincing someone I just met to go get some business cards made and promote himself as if he's already a fabulous makeup artist and stylist, using a machine I hadn't used in years, or changing my room around so I can wake up to the sky and trees ... I started!

Until Next Time ... JUST START and Go Get IT!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Business NOT as Usual

Out of all the castings and auditions I've attended in my 3 years and 4 months as a career model and commercial actress, this was one of my most productive days. But it all started with taking a free seminar on Tuesday about resumes to a six hour class about, in a nutshell, being about my business.

I've had a big birdie in my ear for a while about focusing on "the business" side of my business. Not about just being an actress or a model but how to parlay those skills into a brand. He was right! Today, the gates opened to my soul and responded with a mission to accomplish. After class, I headed to the book store to check out some references, take notes, purchased the book "Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and a nice pink notebook that will hold the secrets to my success. Well at least my notes. : )

I get back to my girlfriends house in Jersey, settle in and organize my suitcase because I'm heading back home to MD tomorrow. I prepare to re-write all my notes from class, go over the exercises and start putting a plan in motion ... but it's missing. Somewhere along the way, between class, Starbucks, the bookstore and the bus ride home, I've lost all the information I gained today. WTH? Like really? What does this obstacle present for me? Nothing if I don't let it. Maybe its a blessing in disguise.

I decide to send a Facebook email to Lisa, who taught the class to see if anyone has turned in my valuable information. But in the meantime, I decide that I will just have to start from scratch. The ideas are still fresh. Does my mission statement have to read exactly how I wrote it in class? NOPE! Maybe it'll come out better than the first. Nonetheless, I can't waste time on the where and the how. I just DO IT and move on with my action plan. I've got goals that I WILL accomplish and I won't let losing those papers hinder my mission.

From this day forth, it is truly about my business. No time for procrastination, wishing instead of willing or neglecting to take action because I lost notes from class. A lot of the information really stuck with me. The beauty is I can start over and no one will know the difference.

I feel really good about where my actions will take my career. Better actions, better decisions, better outcome. Lisa Gold (plug ;) ) taught the class today, and I must say, that that class was a of pot gold at the end of my rainbow. The sun is truly shining on me and my career will follow suit. I can't wait to see the fruits of my labor ... or simply me putting my plan into action!

Until Next Time ... GO GET A PLAN AND PUT INTO ACTION!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

On Fire!

I wish I was talking about my career. The weather in NYC has been scorching. I mean I've never perspired so much walking from one point to another. DAYUMMMMM! I even put an umbrella to shield me from the sun but that seemed to make things a little worse. Seems as though the umbrella was not only blocking the sun but any little bit of air trying to circulate around me. Yesterday was miserable. And if I don't find more ways to activate the results I want in my career, I'm going to be miserable.

So I jump started with a class yesterday. And today, myself, is on mission. I have got to delve into some more education. Money has been an issue, but I always seem to find few dollars for a cute little something after I've told myself a gazillion times I don't need another piece of clothing. I have got to get FOCUSED and REALLY SERIOUS. This is my life right now and if I plan to grow in my life and my career, I've got to stop making the same mistakes (financially) so that I can build my career and be able to build my family.

I'm not sure where the money will come from to be able to take the list of classes I want to take, or to put together everything else it's gonna take for me to generate results, but GOD always makes a way. But HE expects me to put things in motion so that HE can open up the doors. So this day, I pledge, that I am not buying another thing for at least 2 months. lol. Hey...baby steps. UNLESS of course I need it for something important, i.e. a shoot or job. But I think I'll be able to pull something together out of all the stuff I have at home.

I want and need to secure a space here. I have got to have some consistency when I come up. I don't need an apartment, just a solid foundation to lay my head. So I'm putting things in motion people. Growing up! And sometimes that takes years to do, I've found out. But we're all a work in progress. So in my journey to really take advantage of getting my career cookin' and on fire, I am claiming FOCUS, DETERMINATION, WILL POWER, AND PERSEVERANCE.

I suggest to you as well, whatever you've been slacking in or on, stop wasting time. You can party and shop to you drop later. One LIFE and only one chance to do your thing so don't waste another minute people.

Until next time ... GO AND GET THE DAMN THANG!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Better Late Than Never

Today was an early start for me. I was determined to be outta NY on the first thing smoking this morning. It's a holiday weekend so everybody and their momma was travelling out this morning. 4th of July in DC is big, I guess. Fireworks on the mall! Bolt bus was completely sold out so I had to opt for the Megabus. The double decker bus that holds about 85 people. I had to leave Brooklyn, well I wanted to leave Brooklyn by 530am. My bus was leaving at 640am. But I didn't leave the house til 5 minutes to 6am. What the heck was I doing? I was speed walking to the train and of course I had to wait like 10 minutes for the 2 train to finally make it to Atlantic Ave to get me to 34th street in time to get to 31st and 8th ave. Luckily, I was staying at my friends house this time instead of my aunts. Atlantic Ave is like 20 minutes from Penn Station. If I had stayed in Flatbush, I would have had to get up like 430am and take a 45 minute ride there.

So I'm waiting for the train, time is ticking. I haven't eaten a thing. All I got is 2 bottled waters I swiped from my friends job and some doritos in my book bag. Too early for the tortilla chips. So I had about 10 minutes to get to the bus before it left. I wanted to hit up Starbucks but everyone knows Starbucks is always off the hook so I opt for a banana from one of the other little stores in Penn Station to tide me over until I get to DC. So I'm booking it to the bus. It's like all of NYC standing there waiting to board. Really? Long story short, I get my seat and one of the standby customers that makes it on, is some little gay guy who is a Drag Queen, because the whole bus had the pleasure of hearing about his evening before. Ummmm its 6am in the morning, it's a little too early for all that boo! You need to drag it down and drag it to sleep please.

Thank God for my ipod! But he obviously was entertaining to the 3 or 4 girls he was sitting by because they were constantly laughing at his stories, which was more noise. Adding fuel to the flame. His friend was more chill, but he gave his little show before we took off. Walking up and down the aisle like he was still performing. Mannnn, I wanted to say can you sit yo' butt down and shut the you know what up.

I guess about an hour into the trip everyone on the bus was knocked out. I woke up briefly after catching my head from falling off the seat. Awwwwww peace and quiet. But once we arrived at the first drop off in White Marsh, Maryland, little man was on again. Cursing, being loud and fabulous. I always wonder how some people don't realize that everyone does not want to be apart of their stories or personal business. Consideration people! It's early. We all had to get up at the crack of dawn to make this bus ride...we just want a little peace and quiet for the next 4 hours. I could not wait to get up off this big yellow and blue box to end this madness going on two seats behind me and get some food!

Me and one of my girls decided to do lunch once I got in, so I waited at the Starbucks for her. We wind up chatting a little over hot and frozen coffee and then heading to this Sushi spot near Chinatown. Our conversations always wind up being about getting out stuff together, re-grouping, being more focused, staying on top of our game and so on.

There, I realized, as I so often do when I'm not feeling my MO-jo, I have really got to get my act together. I was on such a roll in May and June that it seems that since I took my little vacation, the momentum has slowed down or even dropped off. But I'm not claiming that. What you put out, you get back and its apparent that I've not been putting out too much of anything here lately. That's so not cool. So where do I begin. Just do it! And this blog does help. It's a start to put things in motion, but the past few weeks, I've really struggled to push through the down time I had the pleasure of giving myself. But ummm, its time to get this ball back to rolling.

So this holiday weekend, even though I plan to partake in a barbecue or two ; ) and spend some time with family celebrating my oldest nieces' 9th birthday, I've got to get things moving. There's no check coming in every 2 weeks. I've got to go out and get my paper. And that can be frustrating when you're going but ain't getting.

I've got to do better at pushing through the slumps. I'm strong and determined so there should be no issue with me doing what needs to be done. It almost feels like a part of you wants to give up. And I've worked too hard for that giving up pity party business.

So I'm taking my deep breath, holding my head high and pushing toward my goals. Wake up call! We need those ever so often, even when we are doing pretty good. So I'm starting my movement.

Until Next Time ... Get ta Steppin' and Go Get It!!!