Hey Everyone,
Its been a good little while since I've written anything. No real excuse ... just life happening or lack thereof. Being lazy and unmotivated. Not good traits especially in the type of business I'm in. But I get tired. Tired of busting my butt, beating the pavement, smiling and profiling, and sometimes nothing seems to comes of it.
It doesn't matter how long you've been in the business you can still feel periods of disappointment, inadequacy, sadness, loneliness, depression and defeat. Sometimes it totally sucks!! But then again, it depends on how you look at things. And it also depends on what you're doing on a daily basis to keep thriving in the midst of of the drought. One of my favorite scriptures is, "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord. They are like trees planted along the riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8. Man doesn't that give you motivation? Pops you right out of that funk and lights some fire under you.
I always try to remain positive but honestly its hard when things don't seem to be going your way. But, I have to remember that things will only go God's way. Instead of whats NOT happening, I need to focus on what's happening...right now! Im alive! Im breathing! Im healthy! I am still in this game over 6 years in! But if I'm not putting in the work, why should GOD bless me? I mean HE does in spite of but we still have to work hard to gain success. Whether that's working out so you can maintain your body or updating your marketing materials so people know you still exist. Being prepared!! Isn't that what the Bible teaches us? It prepares us for life. What to expect and how to handle it.
It is important that we focus on a genuine consistent relationship with GOD. It is the key to any of the successes we will have in our lives. He wants your time more than anything. When you focus on HIM, you won't even focus on what you think is NOT happening enough for you. You'll just appreciate all the opportunities that are happening at that moment. And then BAM ... He opens up doors we thought would never be opened.
In realizing what I need to do career-wise, I am also realizing more that there are things I am still dealing with that I thought I wasn't. Things that could be affecting success in my career but more importantly success in my life as a whole. I have been putting up a facade. I still talk about situations that I thought I dealt with or were out of my system. Although I'm not holding any grudges I have obviously not let go of the hurt that was accompanied by what happened.
I'm reading the Purpose Driven Life, a book I bought last year and never really quite got through. So in the midst of all that I feel is NOT happening, I decided OK, its time for me to dedicate some time to reading this book. I must say it is helping me realize some things about myself and some things I need to change. Success doesn't just come from your career achievements but how you achieve spiritual freedom by letting go of situations that have hurt you.
You've heard the saying, "You can forgive but you'll never forget". It's true. Somehow we will always have a piece of us that reminds us of how someone treated us...good or bad. But apart of growing in the spirit is realizing that everyone makes mistakes. A lot of times we do things to others because we ourselves are hurting or dealing with stuff that causes us to act irrational, completely foolish or hurtful. It doesn't make it right but when you notice how a person that has hurt you, has grown and is working to change those behaviors, we must also work on changing our mindset. Leaving those hurtful situations in the past can help us fully love one another. GOD knows our hearts. And no matter how we try to convince ourselves that we are over it, HE knows the real deal. So we must deal with it and heal it. Being fake for the sake of trying to appear like the bigger person doesn't make the underlying problem go away.
I had totally written off some people because of how they treated me. Sure I forgave them, I prayed for them, I may have even still associated or communicated with them, but I was or still am...HURT. I had decided that I'm just not going to deal with them on the same level because I was tired of being treated unfairly, being misunderstood and betrayed. I was tired of apologizing for how I may have made them feel, working on being a better person to them but still being treated in a way that made me feel uncomfortable.
Reading the Purpose Driven Life, has given me another level of healing from those situations. A lot of times we want to just give up on people ... but really we can't. No we can't control how others act but we can choose to act in a way that is loving and consistent to God's standards. How we chose to act can totally change the mindset of someone. We are examples of God's love. And when God's love is growing inside of you and exudes through you, at some point, there will be a transformation. You will notice the change in them. But we have to be open to that change and stop living in the moments that they hurt us. Note, this change doesn't happen overnight.
I know y'all ... its hard. BUT GOD ... whoooo ... He can work some things out in you that no therapist or psychiatrist can pull you through. Yes, thank GOD for them, but in the end HE is the one who can change your entire outlook on a situation. People you thought you'd never talk to again are at your home or are on the other end of your phone.
As I begin to peel away the layers that are still holding me back from being completely free of anger and hurt, I feel so much lighter. Some bruised relationships are taking a turn for the better and I see how my positive, loving energy is affecting them and, it makes me feel really good. It feels right. I'm taking ownership of my crap and cleaning my house (my spirit). In the book it says, "Relationships are worth restoring. Because life is all about learning how to love, God wants us to value relationships and make the effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt, or a conflict."
Life is so short.
I'm moving toward a new decade in my life and I just really don't want to go into it with the old stuff that doesn't bring me any joy. Old stuff that causes me to treat others in a way that's not nice or unkind. I no longer want to be held hostage by the past.
Until Next Time ... I ask you two things, What do you need to do to restore your passion for your career? and ... Who do you need to restore a broken relationship with today?
Relatable Scripture:
I am focusing all my energies on this one thing; Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. (Philippians 3:13 NLT)
God has given gifts to each of you from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Manage them well so that God's generosity can flow through you. (1 Peter4:10-11 NLT)
