In my quest to find focus, peace, and stability, I decided I needed to lay low. I'm still dealing with things but I'm finding my way. Love, Family, Friends, Career, Life and Death. Although great things continue to happen, other not so great things have happened along the way ... but that's life. You take the good with the bad.
Each day I awake its a new start. I used to pray and meditate more consistently a while back. Meditating brings such a renewal to my mind, body and soul. Its a chance for me to reconnect with my GOD and my SELF. When the two become one, I become solid. I find perfect peace with everything. I'm able to deal with situations without over analyzing them or getting too upset. It happens. I'm over it.
When are you are grounded your position in life and your attitude are accurate. Your foundation is strong. I bet not many realized that when your parents would GROUND you, what that really meant. It meant for you to realize what you did, how it affected others or even yourself and what you needed to do to correct that behavior.
Until Next Time ... Go Get Grounded!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
Making Peace With Death
I guess we all, at some point in our lives, all REALLY think about death. Whether its after we've just lost a loved one or friend, just saw something on the news or looking in the mirror one day, and realizing that time is ticking, you're getting older and at some point you won't be around. That's a harsh reality for me.
When I was in the 5th grade, I remember having a slumber party. I don't know how the subject of death came up but I remember crying hysterically because "I didn't wanna die." Death scared the heck out of me.
In the last month or so, death has been heavy on my mind. Possibly because I lost my grandfather in January, maybe because my parents are getting older or that I'm closer to 40. Now I know 40 isn't a death sentence but I remember my 25th birthday. Time has flown by with no consideration of how its action may affect me ... who is not in a race to the finish line.
About two weeks ago, I woke up having an anxiety attack. I was barely sleep because I had it on my mind. I was freaking the heck out. I had to take some deep breaths and drink some water. Prayer and meditation helps. I ask GOD to help me deal. It it inevitable. Its going to happen to us all. I'm not alone in this game of life. It's the one destiny we all have in common.
I realize I can't afford to miss out on life going crazy about dying. So I try to take each day to maximize my opportunities ... embracing this beautiful, crazy, roller-coaster, love-filled, not knowing what to expect or whats going to happen next existence. I'm reading more, taking part in cultural experiences and working on spending more time with my family. In other words, making the most of my life so that thinking about death does not become a habit. When your life lacks purpose, so many negative thoughts can enter your mind and lead you to a place of doubt, fear and hopelessness. Who wants to live like that?
"Every man is what he is because of the dominating thoughts which he permits to occupy his mind."
Until Next Time ... Find your purpose and LIVE.
When I was in the 5th grade, I remember having a slumber party. I don't know how the subject of death came up but I remember crying hysterically because "I didn't wanna die." Death scared the heck out of me.
In the last month or so, death has been heavy on my mind. Possibly because I lost my grandfather in January, maybe because my parents are getting older or that I'm closer to 40. Now I know 40 isn't a death sentence but I remember my 25th birthday. Time has flown by with no consideration of how its action may affect me ... who is not in a race to the finish line.
About two weeks ago, I woke up having an anxiety attack. I was barely sleep because I had it on my mind. I was freaking the heck out. I had to take some deep breaths and drink some water. Prayer and meditation helps. I ask GOD to help me deal. It it inevitable. Its going to happen to us all. I'm not alone in this game of life. It's the one destiny we all have in common.
I realize I can't afford to miss out on life going crazy about dying. So I try to take each day to maximize my opportunities ... embracing this beautiful, crazy, roller-coaster, love-filled, not knowing what to expect or whats going to happen next existence. I'm reading more, taking part in cultural experiences and working on spending more time with my family. In other words, making the most of my life so that thinking about death does not become a habit. When your life lacks purpose, so many negative thoughts can enter your mind and lead you to a place of doubt, fear and hopelessness. Who wants to live like that?
"Every man is what he is because of the dominating thoughts which he permits to occupy his mind."
Until Next Time ... Find your purpose and LIVE.
Oppotunity VS. Opportunity
Thursday was quite a busy day of auditioning for me. I had four that quickly turned into three. One audition that I was really excited about going on was Kohl's. Along with Target, Kohl's is a client I would love to add to my resume. There was one problem though ... in the notes it stated conflicts: RETAIL! I just shot for Burlington last month so excitement deferred.
Because I have so many agencies in NY, its really up to me to let them know what I'm booking. But they represent so much talent, I'm sure it'd be somewhat a pain trying to remember everything one model booked. But I have to keep on top of those things so that a red flag can immediately pop up when casting states a conflict. If a client sees you in a competitors ad or commercial it could be bad news. The talent could get sued.
I quickly responded to my agent to let them know I just shot for Burlington but was I still able to go to this casting. I mean it states very clearly that I can't have any other retail ads running, but hey, I always try my hand. My agent responded that she'd have to check with the client because that might be an issue and she'll get back to me. Well she never did. So I went!
I headed to the Kohl's casting after a callback audition on Park Avenue for Off Broadway shoes. Kohl's was on Madison so it was a quick 2 minute walk. I sign in, sit down and finish chatting with a friend. We both just left the callback audition and walked down to Madison together. The casting director comes out. He sees a familiar face, another model. She is Julissa. She used to host 106 and park. They chat it up for a second, he scans the room and then the sign in sheet. He acknowledges my friend, looks back at the sign in sheet, and then back at me.
"Monique, I thought you couldn't make it. They said you were unavailable." I explain that my agency never got back to me so I just came. "Yeah but didn't you do Burlington, that's going to be a conflict. I'm sorry did you wait long?" Not at all. Hey, at least he got to see my face. Potential + Effort = Opportunity.
Later in the day I get a call from one of my agencies about a client wanting to book me for an Evenflo job. They make baby carriers, car seats, high chairs ... you get the picture ...baby stuff. NOTE: I'm going to call the two agency's in the next several paragraphs agency 1 and agency 2 so its easier to follow along.
The job is a direct booking ... no audition and it pays a decent amount. It shoots this Tuesday. There's one problem, eventhough I don't know if I booked Off Broadway Shoes, I'm already holding the dates for the shoot which include travel dates. It shoots in Charlotte, North Carolina on Wednesday, but I fly out on Tuesday. So I let agency 2 know what's going on and see what I can do about finding out any information about the OB's interest and travel times, eventhough I just left the callback like 2 hours ago.
I email agency 1 to let them know about this other possible booking and ask if she can find out anything about OB. She immediately responds back that she received word after I left the audition that I am a top choice for the job. She wants me to try to find out times for the other shoot before she calls casting so she'll have some leverage. So I call agency 2 back and ask them to get more info on the Evenflo shoot. I'm thinking hey, if I book this shoot, maybe OB could fly me out afterwards. Keep in mind, I'm not confirmed for either shoot, but I'm on it like a hornet, trying to make both of these things happen. (But is it really in my hands?)
After an hour or so, agency 2 found out that Evenflo would shoot me first around 830am and I would probably be done by 11am so I could be finished early enough to fly out. Even the people at Evenflo are trying to work with me. I'm like sweet! This may actually work out.
After a tango of calls, things were suddenly at a standstill. Which was a good sign, because I didn't have to confirm anything with either client just yet. I was still being considered for both jobs, which was great. I really wanted things to work out where I could do both. Friday rolls around and I don't hear anything til about 5p from agency 2. Evenflo wants to confirm the booking. I still have no info on the OB shoot. I call agency 1, and she's right on it. She wants me to be able to do both and doesn't want me to lose out on a confirmed booking if OB decides not to go with me.
I'm calm. I realize that things are gonna turn out how they will. Agency 1 gets back to me ... no news to tell me and she feels so bad. I in turn call agency 2, let them know that hey agency 1 still has no info, but I still have to keep the hold because OB has first option. Which is kind of bull. I mean one client should not be able to hold you hostage like that. Usually when something like this happens, they need to confirm or release the talent. But I'm telling you they will call you at the last minute of the last second to tell you that you did or didn't book the job. It's a little crazy. Clients go through so many channels to pick talent for ads and spots. Everyone has to be on the same page.
Both agencies were so cool and understanding about things. I mean they both wanted this to work out in my favor. Shoot, I'm sure in their favor also. They get paid too. Finally casting calls me about 6p to let me know I booked OB. She doesn't have any details on travel but is aware of the situation I'm in. She lets me know that the client will call me with travel details. I get a call about 7p from the stylist and then the call I've been waiting for from production, about my travel arrangements. She lets me know that I'll be leaving in the morning ... early morning. So that means I cannot do the Evenflo shoot. : ( It's a wrap! I'm a little bummed, but hey I can't be mad that two clients wanted to book me.
I had to call agency 2 and give them the bad news. But I am excited about travelling to NC for the OB shoot. My dad lives 35 minutes outside of Charlotte, so he's going to come pick me up so we can hang out. That more than makes up for the shoot I won't be able to do.
I may not have been able to audition for Kohl's and I may not have been able to accept the Evenflo job ... but rest assure, they'll be a next time. It just feels good that all were interested in M.E.. That's a good sign that this career is going in the right direction and although I'll miss some opportunities, they'll be many more to come.
So Until Next Time ... Fight for your Opportunities! GO GET IT!!!
Because I have so many agencies in NY, its really up to me to let them know what I'm booking. But they represent so much talent, I'm sure it'd be somewhat a pain trying to remember everything one model booked. But I have to keep on top of those things so that a red flag can immediately pop up when casting states a conflict. If a client sees you in a competitors ad or commercial it could be bad news. The talent could get sued.
I quickly responded to my agent to let them know I just shot for Burlington but was I still able to go to this casting. I mean it states very clearly that I can't have any other retail ads running, but hey, I always try my hand. My agent responded that she'd have to check with the client because that might be an issue and she'll get back to me. Well she never did. So I went!
I headed to the Kohl's casting after a callback audition on Park Avenue for Off Broadway shoes. Kohl's was on Madison so it was a quick 2 minute walk. I sign in, sit down and finish chatting with a friend. We both just left the callback audition and walked down to Madison together. The casting director comes out. He sees a familiar face, another model. She is Julissa. She used to host 106 and park. They chat it up for a second, he scans the room and then the sign in sheet. He acknowledges my friend, looks back at the sign in sheet, and then back at me.
"Monique, I thought you couldn't make it. They said you were unavailable." I explain that my agency never got back to me so I just came. "Yeah but didn't you do Burlington, that's going to be a conflict. I'm sorry did you wait long?" Not at all. Hey, at least he got to see my face. Potential + Effort = Opportunity.
Later in the day I get a call from one of my agencies about a client wanting to book me for an Evenflo job. They make baby carriers, car seats, high chairs ... you get the picture ...baby stuff. NOTE: I'm going to call the two agency's in the next several paragraphs agency 1 and agency 2 so its easier to follow along.
The job is a direct booking ... no audition and it pays a decent amount. It shoots this Tuesday. There's one problem, eventhough I don't know if I booked Off Broadway Shoes, I'm already holding the dates for the shoot which include travel dates. It shoots in Charlotte, North Carolina on Wednesday, but I fly out on Tuesday. So I let agency 2 know what's going on and see what I can do about finding out any information about the OB's interest and travel times, eventhough I just left the callback like 2 hours ago.
I email agency 1 to let them know about this other possible booking and ask if she can find out anything about OB. She immediately responds back that she received word after I left the audition that I am a top choice for the job. She wants me to try to find out times for the other shoot before she calls casting so she'll have some leverage. So I call agency 2 back and ask them to get more info on the Evenflo shoot. I'm thinking hey, if I book this shoot, maybe OB could fly me out afterwards. Keep in mind, I'm not confirmed for either shoot, but I'm on it like a hornet, trying to make both of these things happen. (But is it really in my hands?)
After an hour or so, agency 2 found out that Evenflo would shoot me first around 830am and I would probably be done by 11am so I could be finished early enough to fly out. Even the people at Evenflo are trying to work with me. I'm like sweet! This may actually work out.
After a tango of calls, things were suddenly at a standstill. Which was a good sign, because I didn't have to confirm anything with either client just yet. I was still being considered for both jobs, which was great. I really wanted things to work out where I could do both. Friday rolls around and I don't hear anything til about 5p from agency 2. Evenflo wants to confirm the booking. I still have no info on the OB shoot. I call agency 1, and she's right on it. She wants me to be able to do both and doesn't want me to lose out on a confirmed booking if OB decides not to go with me.
I'm calm. I realize that things are gonna turn out how they will. Agency 1 gets back to me ... no news to tell me and she feels so bad. I in turn call agency 2, let them know that hey agency 1 still has no info, but I still have to keep the hold because OB has first option. Which is kind of bull. I mean one client should not be able to hold you hostage like that. Usually when something like this happens, they need to confirm or release the talent. But I'm telling you they will call you at the last minute of the last second to tell you that you did or didn't book the job. It's a little crazy. Clients go through so many channels to pick talent for ads and spots. Everyone has to be on the same page.
Both agencies were so cool and understanding about things. I mean they both wanted this to work out in my favor. Shoot, I'm sure in their favor also. They get paid too. Finally casting calls me about 6p to let me know I booked OB. She doesn't have any details on travel but is aware of the situation I'm in. She lets me know that the client will call me with travel details. I get a call about 7p from the stylist and then the call I've been waiting for from production, about my travel arrangements. She lets me know that I'll be leaving in the morning ... early morning. So that means I cannot do the Evenflo shoot. : ( It's a wrap! I'm a little bummed, but hey I can't be mad that two clients wanted to book me.
I had to call agency 2 and give them the bad news. But I am excited about travelling to NC for the OB shoot. My dad lives 35 minutes outside of Charlotte, so he's going to come pick me up so we can hang out. That more than makes up for the shoot I won't be able to do.
I may not have been able to audition for Kohl's and I may not have been able to accept the Evenflo job ... but rest assure, they'll be a next time. It just feels good that all were interested in M.E.. That's a good sign that this career is going in the right direction and although I'll miss some opportunities, they'll be many more to come.
So Until Next Time ... Fight for your Opportunities! GO GET IT!!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Harlem Renaissance
Last week I stayed in my new NYC home! It felt so good! But it feels even better to know that there is no question of where I'll stay from week to week. I locked in a deal with a long time friend and her cousin. We have a brand new 2 bedroom apartment in Harlem. I love it! It's so much closer to the city, it has a gym downstairs and most importantly I can call it home.
My friend travels back and forth like I do for her job. Her cousin attended and graduated from NYU and was already living there so they decided to get a place together. My girlfriend was tired of booking hotels and lugging bags in and out of town. Sound familiar? Initially, we were looking for a 3 bedroom, but with my mortgage payout in Maryland, it was going to still be too much for me to pay a third of anybody's rent.
After letting them both know that I wouldn't be able to afford it, they opted to continue their search, but for a 2 bedroom. In the meantime, I reached out to another friend that I could possibly stay with in Jersey, who has an extra bedroom, and looked into other options. After about a month had passed, I got a text from my girlfriend stating that she and her cousin got a place and that we could probably work out something. I was thrilled and jumped on the opportunity.
So when my girlfriend isn't in town, she's opened her room to me and when she's there, I sleep on a queen size air mattress furnished by her cousin. That thing is huge and even has a head board. LOL. I must admit, it's quite comfortable. So I was in town for only 3 days last week, but so good so far.
Who would have thought, I'd end up in good ole Harlem. I've run into quite a few people who don't like Harlem. But that's OK, so far its been nothing but good to me. I am so BLESSED. I pray for the best and to HIM I leave the rest. Let's see where this new course in life takes me.
I'm very thankful for my friend and her cousin, who were so kind to open their hearts to share their new space with me. I'm thankful for those who were so kind to open up their homes to me even if they didn't have a lot of space to share. The fact that you opened up your hearts to do so, speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. But just because I have a steady spot doesn't mean I won't still crash at a homie's spot. LOL. You know who you are missy! Gotta visit the BLVD from time to time. : )
Ahhhhh. A sigh of relief. I'm back to NYC tomorrow and it feels good to know exactly where I'm staying. I even have a closet yall! Oh and a doggie too. I wasn't really feeling the idea of a dog, but beggars can't be choosers. I've adjusted. Its just a little one, and I think she loves me.
Well gotta go! Gotta early morning. I shoot for Carmax in the a.m.!
Until Next Time ... Go GET IT!
My friend travels back and forth like I do for her job. Her cousin attended and graduated from NYU and was already living there so they decided to get a place together. My girlfriend was tired of booking hotels and lugging bags in and out of town. Sound familiar? Initially, we were looking for a 3 bedroom, but with my mortgage payout in Maryland, it was going to still be too much for me to pay a third of anybody's rent.
After letting them both know that I wouldn't be able to afford it, they opted to continue their search, but for a 2 bedroom. In the meantime, I reached out to another friend that I could possibly stay with in Jersey, who has an extra bedroom, and looked into other options. After about a month had passed, I got a text from my girlfriend stating that she and her cousin got a place and that we could probably work out something. I was thrilled and jumped on the opportunity.
So when my girlfriend isn't in town, she's opened her room to me and when she's there, I sleep on a queen size air mattress furnished by her cousin. That thing is huge and even has a head board. LOL. I must admit, it's quite comfortable. So I was in town for only 3 days last week, but so good so far.
Who would have thought, I'd end up in good ole Harlem. I've run into quite a few people who don't like Harlem. But that's OK, so far its been nothing but good to me. I am so BLESSED. I pray for the best and to HIM I leave the rest. Let's see where this new course in life takes me.
I'm very thankful for my friend and her cousin, who were so kind to open their hearts to share their new space with me. I'm thankful for those who were so kind to open up their homes to me even if they didn't have a lot of space to share. The fact that you opened up your hearts to do so, speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. But just because I have a steady spot doesn't mean I won't still crash at a homie's spot. LOL. You know who you are missy! Gotta visit the BLVD from time to time. : )
Ahhhhh. A sigh of relief. I'm back to NYC tomorrow and it feels good to know exactly where I'm staying. I even have a closet yall! Oh and a doggie too. I wasn't really feeling the idea of a dog, but beggars can't be choosers. I've adjusted. Its just a little one, and I think she loves me.
Well gotta go! Gotta early morning. I shoot for Carmax in the a.m.!
Until Next Time ... Go GET IT!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
2 Corinthians 5:7
So many times we are blinded by worries, concern, doubt, fear or negativity that we forget that GOD is with us and through it all, we shall prevail. I know my blogs have probably beat this in the ground, but we have to continuously remind ourselves that GOD is always there, preparing us and looking out for our best interest. Just because we don't see the things we want when we want them, we have to continue to walk in FAITH because the things we want and desire can be ours.
You know that saying "he may not come when you want him, but he's always right on time!" Whoever coined that phrase ain't ever lied. When you are experiencing a low, at some point, there is a breakthrough. And that breakthrough feels so good after enduring so much BUT I held on by Faith. Man, it gives me chills just thinking about all the things I've gone through, all the emotions I've felt, the let downs and the put downs and then GOD brings the GLORY! I just feel like dancing and shouting and having a big ole PRAISE party. HIS love and grace is amazing!
I watched the movie the Book of Eli on Sunday. Great movie. And though just a movie, the message it conveyed only gave me reassurance of GOD's presence and power in my life. FAITH is the ultimate confidence I must have to sustain me. It may seem like I'm walking toward a dead end, but my FAITH gives me the confidence that more lies ahead.
My path has been laid. And so has yours.
UNTIL Next Time ... Have Faith in GOD because HE has Faith in you! GO GET IT!
You know that saying "he may not come when you want him, but he's always right on time!" Whoever coined that phrase ain't ever lied. When you are experiencing a low, at some point, there is a breakthrough. And that breakthrough feels so good after enduring so much BUT I held on by Faith. Man, it gives me chills just thinking about all the things I've gone through, all the emotions I've felt, the let downs and the put downs and then GOD brings the GLORY! I just feel like dancing and shouting and having a big ole PRAISE party. HIS love and grace is amazing!
I watched the movie the Book of Eli on Sunday. Great movie. And though just a movie, the message it conveyed only gave me reassurance of GOD's presence and power in my life. FAITH is the ultimate confidence I must have to sustain me. It may seem like I'm walking toward a dead end, but my FAITH gives me the confidence that more lies ahead.
My path has been laid. And so has yours.
UNTIL Next Time ... Have Faith in GOD because HE has Faith in you! GO GET IT!
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