Thank You Lord

In preparing to go home to Maryland this week to visit my family and friends, the excitement overwhelms me.  Although, they aren't too far away and I do kinda see them often, it is something about the holidays that really brings a warm and fuzzy feeling inside of me.  But this year, more than ever,  I feel a need to be really connected to them, to really show them that I love and appreciate them.

GOD has truly blessed me with some amazing people in my life.  And a lot of those amazing people are in my family.  It is so important that I thank GOD for all that HE has given me, especially the  people HE has brought in and through my life.  Whether I've endured trials with some or had to let some go, it is still a blessing to have been touched by those individuals in some way because I've learned who to be and who not to be and how to be better so that I can do better.

As this year is coming to a close, GOD is cleaning my house. And I mean that in the figurative sense, of course. I am so fortunate that HE loves me so much to remove the non-sense out of my life so that I can continue to walk the path HE has laid out for me. To enjoy the blessings in store and share those blessings with those people who truly love, support and care for me. The wonderful thing is no matter how often the enemy tries to use others to stop me in my tracks, GOD is walking right beside me to knock them right out of the way. Ok maybe a little nudge. LOL. Sad thing, some never learn.  But we have to keep praying for those brothers and sisters.

Their journey is not mine and I am certainly not here to judge.  Im here to be a disciple in HIS kingdom and that means doing everything I can do be the person HE wants me to be. Loving those who love me and continuing to love those who don't.  After all, that's what GOD does.  HE's so awesome that way.

So I THANK YOU GOD for it all.  The good, the bad, the joys, the pains, the sun, the downpours, the challenges and the getting through it all, standing strong in your army. YOU are my strength, my guide, my deliverer, my sword and my father in heaven. GLORY be to GOD in the Highest!

Until Next Time ... and always, give thanks for all GOD allows in and removes out of your life.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving ... everyday.

On Target - Everything in GOD's Timing.

It's nearly 5 years since I quit my job to be a model full-time.  I can hardly believe the time that has gone by.  And quite frankly, according to industry standards, that I'm still doing it and have been quite successful.

I have a vision board, which by the way is probably needing some attention and updates.  And on that vision board I have all kinds of clients I want to work with, which some, I already have.  But there was one in particular that I've been wanting to book for a while now.  I've seen them a few times and when recently going back home, I came across one of my bibles and noticed I wrote in the back of it in June 2008 that I was going to a casting for this particular client and that I was going to book them.

Well as GOD would have it, I didn't book them that time and I didn't book them the other 2 times I saw them.  Well earlier this year I went on another casting for this client and shortly right after I was placed on hold (being considered) but yet again, I got released and didn't book the job.  So this past September, I got a call that this client was interested in booking me (again). Of course, the excitement is moving through my veins and the anticipation of hearing back from my agent was building.  But I remained calm and kept it moving with other auditions and life in general.

Well finally, I get the text, not even a call (I love my agent) that this time I BOOKED THEM!!!  You would have thought right away I would have been jumping up and down like a kid. But I think it was taking me a minute to process it.  But about 10 minutes later, ok maybe 5, LOL, I was jumping up and down like a fool.  I was headed out to Los Angeles to shoot for TARGET!!!

I did it! And GOD answers, "uhh like why wouldn't you. I got this!"  So this goes to show you that anything you want is possible.  Anything you desire, you can have, but you will not receive the glory until GOD feels you are ready to receive.  Accept that, keep it moving, keep shining, keep smiling "knowing you can always count on HIM, for sure ... that's what GOD is for." Did I just make a gospel song out of Dionne Warwicks, "That's What Friends Are For" ... LOL.

But seriously, GOD has your back yall.  You just have to trust and believe that.  Don't base someone else's life, goals, achievements, issues ... whatever ... on your life. Everyone's journey is different.  Something you want you may not get, but I guarantee what you will get, will be much bigger than you ever imagined.

I am rooting for you!!! Keep your eyes on the prize!  It took me 3 years to book Target.  But I never gave up.  In the mean time, GOD blessed me with some other amazing opportunities and I never looked back at what didn't happen.

Until Next Time ... Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.

Fair-weather Friends

It took me a while to decide if I was going to write this post.  I never want to be interpreted as being negative.  People who REALLY know me, know that anything I say or do is coming from a genuine place.  I don't know everything and I'm certainly not perfect.  But this blog is here for me to express myself, to give the reader an understanding of me, my feelings, how I plan to deal with those feelings,  move on and with hopes to help someone get through a similar situation, of course, POSITIVELY. 

For the majority of my life I've had to deal with others insecurities, i.e. WOMEN.  If things are going good for me, they're mad. If my outfit is cute, they're mad. If I'm with someone they like, they're mad. If someone gives me a compliment, they're mad.  They just mad mad mad.  And frankly, I'm done with being the reason for them not being completely satisfied with the person GOD made them to be.  But of course they're issue is deeper than me.

Everything given to me, whether its my looks, my talent, my family and even my friends are from GOD. So frankly, if you mad at me, you're mad at GOD.  Whats more important, you can't take away anything GOD has planned, lined up, or has in the works for me.  So please stop the MAD-ness!  Really, at this point in life GROW UP!  Aren't you tired of trying to win against me. I am in no competition or race.  I am a child of GOD and when you go up against his children, YOU WILL NEVER WIN!!! So please get with the program.

I had to straight check a friend two weekends ago.  She is always calling me about her drama, and I listen. I give her advice, lift her up and give her my support.  But this chick fails to support me. Everytime I ask her for a favor...I mean everytime yall...not that she's never done anything for me, but I can probably count on one hand and we've been friends for quite some time.  And its small stuff. Stuff I'm willing to even give her money to do.  But she always got 100 reasons as to why she can't.  And I have had enough.  So in letting her know how I feel, she made a comment that was a wake up call.  She told me to "get over myself!" HUH? Cause I ask you do me a favor but everytime I ask you, you can't can't can't.  And I need to get over myself??

Wait I'm the same chick that holds you down, invites you to hang out, gives you clothes, listens to your drama, shares my family and friends, and of course checks you when you need to be  (cause that's what friends do) and I need to get over myself? Wow, where did that even come from? Obviously somewhere deeper than the favor I asked of you. I barely see you, but when I come in town, you can't find a minute to spend some time with me? I ask you to do a small favor and you cant cause you gotta do something for your co-worker that you've known 5 minutes and it's only gonna take you 5 minutes to do this favor for me?  So seems to me this "friend" needs to get over herself and the 100 excuses she's got in her hat as to why she can never help a sista out!

I'll do anything for my real sister.  And I consider my genuine friends my sisters.  And I look out as much as I can when I can for my girls.  No questions asked.  Now I can't say I've always been so easy to give of myself in the past, but that's the past.  The heart has always been there, it just may have come with a little extra. But I've grown up and am consistently working on me.  And when I need to be checked, I'm sure my girls handle it. 

So in going through this experience with her I've decided that she is just a person I can't depend on.  Point blank. And you know what I'm so cool with that because I do have friends I can depend on.  Who love me GENUINELY. Ain't hanging with me for no ulterior motives, keeping their enemy close or because its the GODLY thing to do.  KEEP IT REAL. If you don't like me. STEP! Don't waste my time because I don't need the negative energy, the deceptiveness or the lack of support.

And with all that I still LOVE you ... from a distance that is.  I am DONE  fighting to just be ME.  Why I got to not be me around you because you're insecure. I am DONE yall.  And I've talked to GOD and you know what? It's alright.  Because HE is the one showing me these so-called "friends" TRUE colors ... REVEALING THE FRAUDS.  And when HE does... It's time for you to go!!!  You're TIME IS UP sista, brotha..whoever!!!

We have had our season.  Thanks for being a part of a lesson I needed to learn about me and about friends in general.  I'm am done  sticking in there for people and they ain't sticking in or up for me.  I am not mad, I'm am not angry, I am just done. And I say that with a smile, a laugh even.    They'll find something. *side eye*

So Until Next Time ... Don't stress over those trying to cause stress in your life.  Pray for them as GOD is the only one that can help them through.  They have to first realize that they have an issue.  And maybe you can restore the friendship but you can't help those who aren't trying to help themselves.  We deserve friends who are down for us no matter what. Who want to see us prosper and succeed.  Who are just as happy for us as if it were their happiness because when good things happen to us, they happen for them.

As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance (approval or favor, encouragement, moral support) of his friend. Proverbs 27:17(NKJV)