I've been fortunate in this industry to be considered a model and an actress. I didn't realize how much a difference it was between the two. While the views expressed in this blog don't go for all models and actors, there is something certainly to be said about the difference between the attitudes and personalities of both.
I was blessed to book a 4 day shoot this past week. It was on location in Connecticut. Ten talent were booked and were divided into two groups. Everyone was attractive, but it was clear who the "actors" were and who the "model's" were. I was a part of the "model" group.
My experience on this shoot was truly overwhelming. Normally, no matter how many talent, whether its on location or local, relationships are formed. Sometimes those relationships last long after a job is completed. I've made a lot of wonderful friends on shoots. Friendships that have help add to my longevity in this industry, that have been supportive and that have just been a blessing to my life as a whole. This was not the case on this shoot.
Honestly, I could not wait to get back home. The crew, makeup artists and stylists were all very cool. But there were a mix of personalities on this shoot that I could definitely due without. I came home mentally exhausted, not just from the long days of working on the shoot but from the affect of the personalities in my group in particular.
First up, the 40 year old half Russian with the Napoleon complex who didn't even know who Kathy Lee was and stated that the world could do without hip hop. This guy here ... I would leave this job with a head full of information about how many businesses he owned, how old his wife was when he met her, how long he's been married, how beautiful his wife is, why they aren't having kids, situations that happened between him and his wife's family, things about his brother, his parents, trips, weed, enemas, all of his opinions about everything and barely getting a word in edge wise to respond, expand, or even just take one thing in at a time and process it. He talked about himself constantly. His voice was loud and annoying and I had to dig down deep a few times...OK the whole time to not just tell this dude to shut the you know what up. It was apparent that he got on everyone's nerves. I'm pretty certain his actions were probably the main reason the other group isolated themselves from us. I was guilty by association.
Then there was the 25 year old model who's voice was a mix between Bette Midler and a valley girl. She got on my nerves at times as well, but I clicked more with her. She knew everything but didn't no a thing. If you get what I mean. She made statements that were just ignorant and just not true. I'm like where is she getting this information from. How can somebody just make statements that are so false but defend them so adamantly. I just kept my mouth shut most of the time. Because sometimes you just can't tell people anything without a debate or them thinking you think you know everything. One day I asked her was she on twitter and she replied no. I went on to tell her that I'm working on branding myself so it was only natural to get on twitter. She asked did I have a blog, but then proceeded to say something to the affect that pretty much if I'm not a "somebody" nobody really cares what you're blogging. HA!!! Did she just really say that to me? Somebody done told her wrong or in this case, not at all.
Then there was the 30 year old soft spoken, fair skinned model. She reminded me of Jackie Kennedy, mainly because of how she was styled for the shoot. She "seemed" sweet but something didn't feel one hundred about her. She and the second guy in my group, the tall ethnically ambiguous male model, really clicked. And there was me, the age ambiguous (lol) African American. The only one on the shoot, which I thought was odd, because African American men auditioned for this. But it didn't matter to me either way. I booked it and I was there to do a job.
Usually, everyone plans to eat together. It's just sort of a ritual, especially when you are away on a shoot. We become a family of sorts and this is one shoot I didn't feel that connection. Not that I'm seeking it or planning to make lasting relationships with all or any of these individuals, its just an unspoken comradery. We're all leaving behind loved ones for an extended period of time so its just natural to form a bond. The 25 year old was more of a free spirit, she hung out with 2 of the production crew members more so. The sweet one, the obnoxious one, and the cool guy formed their little click. And then there was me. I ate dinner by myself one night. It was cool though. The other group stuck together as a whole but were more of my personality. How fun they were really came out in their acting during their scenes. My group thought they were being a bit over the top. I thought they were great.
On set, the director constantly asked my group to amp up the energy level but it was like a feat for them. Did they not understand that this was a commercial shoot? Its all about high energy and fun. We're at a casino ... hellooo! But they stayed true to their "model" selves and I was left to represent for me and not the group. Off the set, there were times that I would go into a completely other holding room, just to get away from their annoyances.
I found out later that the other group gave out names to a couple of the individuals in our group and stated that "clearly, I didn't belong on their team." LOL. But I know their comments were based really on my attitude compared to the others. I heard that two of the models in my group were disrespectful to the wardrobe assistant and to one of the makeup artists. I couldn't believe it. After wiping her arm pits with a wet wipe, she threw it at the makeup artist to trash and the other ordered the wardrobe assistant where to hang his clothes.
This behavior and these attitudes are new for me. I have sensed "attitude" at some auditions. But attitude usually works on the runway, not in many commercials. And unless a casting director and/or client is just crazy about how you look, you will not book a job that way. I'm assuming besides the way they look, my group did well in the audition but I gotta believe that this experience was a test for me. GOD puts us in situations to show us things about others and more importantly things about ourselves.
The saying "treat people how you want to be treated" was never more embedded in my head than during this experience. The selfishness and complaining displayed during this shoot was a pain in my entire body. Not to mention the rudeness.
On the trip up to Connecticut, all but two people in my group was in my van. The "sweet" one rode in the "actors" van and the "cool silly model" joined us later that evening. He was booked on another shoot earlier that day. By this time we didn't know what the set up was. But on the trip back, the other van that held the "actors" was packed. I had to believe that no one wanted to ride 2 hours back to NYC with the talkative 40 year old. I even had a seat to myself. The "sweet" one naturally went to the van she rode up in and her buddy, "the cool silly model", followed. We had one of the "actors" in our van on the way up but he opted to ride back with his group. Which was understandable, he had formed his bond with them during the shoot.
I had been sitting in the van for about 20 minutes, so before we got on the road back to NYC, I decided to go the bathroom one more time. I'm gone 5 minutes, come back to the van and I see that the "sweet one" and the "cool guy" have joined us. But not only that, my bag is moved to the seat in front of where I was sitting and ms. "sweet one" is sitting in my seat. #1 you didn't ride up in this van, #2 you chose to ride back in the van you came in and now #3 you gonna move my stuff and sit where I was sitting. And not only that the people that remained in the van didn't bother to say, hey Monique is sitting there???? Really??? Everything I had held in for 4 days, was surely about to burst all up and through that van.
"Oh you want to sit here?" Ahhh yes I do because that's where I was sitting. And not to make a big deal about it, but its the principle. How you gonna just move my purse and proceed to make yourself comfortable where I obviously was sitting. The nerve. But I pulled it together quickly, got my seat back, put my earplugs in, turned up the ipod and zoned out. Trying not to process everything that happened in those four days was hard. It was a lot to digest. But I manage to sleep a little.
There are some insensitive people out here but I can't control anyones actions but my own and pray for everyone else. As I continue to work on me, that process is even more important to me. I don't ever want to be a thorn in anyones side. I want to have a genuine attitude, with genuine intentions. No you don't have be my friend, no we don't have to hang out but it says alot that you can respect others and be kind to them without knowng them well.
So glad to be removed from that nonsense. But am stronger because of it.
Until next time ... Model your behavior after someone who treats others well.
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