Wasted Talent

Hey errrrrbody as they say it in the DC area.  It's been a while since I've been on the blog but life happens. I know some of my blogs can be somewhat repetitious. "I'm tired of this industry. I got released again. I ain't auditioned in weeks. Somebody I thought was a friend -Aint!" You know just blowing off steam trying to handle life the best way I know how but hoping to help someone, including myself in the process.

Since my last post, I have booked a few jobs (Thankful)... direct bookings at that! Which is sweet. For those who may not be familiar with what a direct booking is, it means I was booked directly from my pictures. I didn't have to go in for a casting or audition. Throughout my career I've had some really nice ones come along. Recently, I was on hold for two nice jobs I went in for. I mean one could have put me in a different financial bracket. OK, not really BUT let's just say I could pay off some thangs!! For real, that last one I didn't book hurt my feelings. I mean I cried a little, shouted at GOD and then ate a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Ice cream makes everything better. But I've gotten through the blow and am working on some new projects and trying to re-birth some others.

I went out to Cali the end of June to reboot! I spent a week out there clearing my mind but also maximizing my time by visiting agencies and scheduling a photoshoot to update my portfolio. Here's one of my favorite images from the shoot!

I've been wearing my hair natural for almost two years now so I wanted to get some more looks with it in its new ... well original state. I've been getting tons of amazing feedback! I just need to book some work y'all. Ugh! I digress. I also met up with some friends out there who are also in the business and I managed to work in some fun too.

But what I will tell you about being in the industry I'm in, is that you will either quit or you will realize those "other" talents you have so that you can one, survive and two, keep busy enough to avoid driving yourself crazy waiting for your agent to call.  Sure, I've known for some time what other things I'm good at but I've been a lazy uncommitted procrastinator with no excuse.

We all want things to just be easy. Sometimes I'm like why couldn't my parents be rich or you know when something goes wrong in your house or your car, you wish you had someone in your family you could call to come fix it ... like for free. I mean can I have some doctors or dentists in my family. I'm not gon even go into these prices dentist are charging - I mean you have to damn near finance getting your teeth clean. No shade, I'm just sayin' - shout out to all my DDS's.

But anyway, back to the subject at hand.  There are some things I've had conjuring up as of late. Some great ideas that I think would really take off if I just get serious and focused, i.e. turn of Basketball Wives, Love and Hip Hop, The Braxtons .... HASHTAG DONTJUDGEME. Y'all know reality TV will suck you in. TV in general for all you Scandal and How to Get Away From Murder folks. Un hun. But as much as I get all caught up in the madness of crazy TV,  I could certainly choose to spend my time more wisely. There has to be a level of sacrifice to get the things you want. And what I want to be is happy, at peace, out of debt and NOT still busting my butt going to these casting and auditions as if I just started in this business. Jesus what is going on? I'm not saying I gotta be Zoe or Taraji (granted they do film and TV but you know what I'm saying) out this piece but I'm getting older and my mind and body just ain't what it used to be. HASHTAG EASYBUTTON ... Pleeeeease. OK, I'm sorry. Maybe this blog should be called something else like "Complaining,Venting and Gettin' Off the Subject". But that's what blogs are for right? To share your thoughts and feelings so you don't lose it on somebody or lose yourself. I'm just trying to let go and let GOD.

Any ole ways, I don't always know what HE's doing or why things don't go my way, but I Love GOD. Amidst the jokes and sarcasm, I know HE is real. HE continues to provide, comfort and protect me. And I certainly have much to be appreciative of. I've been successful as a model and commercial actress and I've done more than most. But boy does He have a way of whipping you into shape. He will squeeze everything out of you to get you where HE needs you to be. I've been blessed to be very creative, kinda cute and somewhat funny. But my creativity is what's going to push me to another level of reward, fulfillment ... greatness.  

Everyday I decide to just wake up and half ass or do nothing ... I push further away from my destiny. Today I am not all I could be ... spiritually, mentally or professionally. But it's time for me to stop focusing on this one side of me that's already been successful. Sure there are other levels I'd like to get to as a model and actress but I will have to create more avenues to get there, not necessarily because I have to but because I can. No, this blog entry isn't profound but a wake up call. I'm tired of waiting for other people to give me an opportunity. Feel me? Sometimes I wish it were easier, but if it were, everyone would do it.   

I hope I'm helping someone here because just writing this is getting me excited about all that I am capable of doing. What's your current situation? Have you applied your other skills to creating something outside of what you already do? Are you fully utilizing your talents and gifts? "Do not neglect your gift ... " 1 Timothy 4:14. HASHTAG NOTETOSELF.

I'm challenging you (and myself) to step out of your comfort zones, get pumped and riled up, focus, commit and DO SOMETHING ... ELSE!

Until Next Time ... Watch this awesome sermon from T.D. Jake's: https://youtu.be/DWOFcTc3K00

It inspired me so much.

*If for some reason the link gets deleted or you are having issues opening, copy and paste in your browser or google T.D. Jake's "Cheering You On". Its from his Aug 9, 2015 service. Enjoy!