I've Come to Far to Give Up

One morning perusing Facebook I came across something a friend wrote. "If life is what you make it, then I choose to make it!"   I have often said the first part of that quote to friends, family and people I mentor but the way my friend put it, "I choose to make it" resonated with me.

Work has been very slow.  It has been a bit frustrating but I'm hanging in there.  The auditions are few and far between and I know in large part that has to do with my union status.  One casting director informed me that 60-75% of the commercial work is non-union.  Big blow and very discouraging.  But I've had some holds (being highly considered) and have booked a couple small jobs. I'm thankful!

Of course, this isn't the first time, that what seems to be a halt in my career has happened but even having been in this business for a while and experiencing amazing success, there are times I feel like giving it up, walking away ...  calling it quits! Yup! : /  It's hard y'all.  Especially if you don't feel like you are where you are supposed to be.

I think of all the things I want to do in my life and sometimes those things seem so far fetched especially being in the business I'm in.  It is so up and down. Consistency doesn't even seem to exist. I mean even when you're hot it doesn't seem like the work you're getting will ever be enough ...(money).  You're on set checking your phone, waiting for the call for the next job.

Over the years I've learned to handle the slow periods a lot better but I never get used to it it seems. Even though I know GOD is working on my behalf I can still get tempted by my flesh to think
that things are falling apart or not working.  But I know that not to be true at all.  I've been down this road tons of times and GOD has always seen me through.  So why can't I just deal with it and stop complaining, feeling discourage and fed up? Human nature I suppose.  

At a time like this it is important that I focus on all that GOD has already blessed me with.  I read where someone said instead of doing a vision board, make an accomplishment board and focus on those things. Good idea right? I've been on national television, national ads, have met people I would have never thought I'd meet, I'm living in the city of dreams and opportunities are at my feet. Like really, Monique? I've accomplished more than most people have thought of.  All the reasons to get away from the pity party I wanna sometimes throw myself.

These times most importantly, help me understand why I must have a relationship with Jesus. Why I need to stay connected to HIM.  HE wants the very best for me so I should always want the very best for myself even when things aren't going the way I would like. I have come to far to just give up. So I get it together, get fueled by HIS word and put in some work.

Acting and modeling aren't my only talents/gifts but it is what I desire to do to make a living and GOD has opened up doors that have given me the opportunity to do it.  I don't hold all the cards but I must face my challenges and see them as opportunity to grow. There is always work to be done even if I'm not booking as much as would like.  Elizabeth Gilbert says: "Every single obstacle, challenge and temptation that you learn to manage will help you gain your talents and powers, and shed your fears.  

So I'm working on strengthening my gift, my talents, my relationships... ME!! I'm taking classes, writing, networking, working out and doing what's necessary to prepare myself for what HE's getting ready to bless me with professionally and personally.  I'm am getting excited just thinking about it.

T.D. Jakes says "Critical opposition comes in our lives because we are blessed.  When GOD puts something down inside of you, in order to birth it out, it takes work! And in that work we will be strengthened in the inner man until we deliver that thing GOD puts inside of us."

Until Next Time .... DON'T GIVE UP! (note to self)