Let It Be Healed

A few hours before my 40th birthday some information was shared with me.  It was shocking and hurtful. I couldn't even sleep through the night because it weighed so heavy on my spirit.  I tried to go through so many scenarios to make some sense of it but there were none.  It is wrong on so many levels. It's selfish and it's mean.

I thought immediately that this was a direct attack on me. I spoke with my mom and she said at one point,  Monique, it may not even be about you. I spoke with my father, and he said people have been doing this kind of thing since the beginning of time. Honestly, that's not what I wanted to hear. But I knew they were trying to help me through a tough situation.   Point blank period I was like this is wrong, its nasty and vindictive!! I was dumbfounded!

I thought about it for a week whether I would even entertain blogging about it. Not to publicize the situation but my feelings about it.  But it was on my spirit to because someone else may need to know how to deal in whatever situation they may be going through.  I have to say it is a hard pill to swallow.

BUT I have learned through this situation and all the tough and very low situations before it that I AM MADE OF SOMETHING. God would not bring me to it if HE could not bring me through it.  "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" (Job 13:15)  You don't quite know what you are made of until you've been under attack, through trial and tribulation.  You don't know how much you can endure or how much courage you have until pressure is applied to your life.

Some days you may feel like "will I make it through this mess?" "Why is this happening to me?" It's happening to you because you can handle it.   Sometimes its just the mess we need to save us.

You'll learn so many things as you mature and grow older, I hope. But one thing is for certain ... GOD IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS. Through all the disappointments, heartaches, bad decisions, regrets and sadness ... I am still here holding onto his word.  And so are you, my friend.  The bible says his grace is sufficient ... 

I have not always done the right thing. I've not always been the best daughter, sister or friend. I acknowledge that.  I'm not perfect. And I've been held accountable for my actions. But what  I do know at 40 years old that I am a good person and I am a strong person.   And throughout all the "not so good" the good definitely outweighs it.  Everyday, Im working on being a better me. And if that means going through some tough times ... then Im ready! Because GOD built me to handle whatever comes my way.

TD Jakes says don't let your flesh make decisions your head will have to deal with. If I am disciplined in my perspective then I will be victorious in my outcome.

Folks ... I've already won! 

Until Next Time ...   I know it hurts but  L E T   I T  B E   H E A L E D ...