Learning To Endure

The past month and half has been busy because auditions and castings have picked up tremendously for me. It has been a slow challenging year to say the least. In October I auditioned every week, about 2-3 times a week. Awesome sauce!  What is even more exciting for most of those appointments I was put on hold (being highly considered or top choice). I was on hold for six jobs in one week. I hadn't been on hold for that many jobs, at one time, in years. One year I was on hold for seven jobs and I booked four out of the seven. So surely, this time, I would have the same success, right? I'm much further along in my career ... a seasoned vet!  After a long drought the bookings are about to come on through.

Ummmmm NOPE! I booked one job. Now, don't get me wrong, I am thankful BUT a couple of those jobs were real healthy on the rate. But no dice. I was disappointed but not to the extent of tears. I just said ok GOD, you've got this. Something bigger is in store, I just gotta wait on it. In the meantime, I just need to prepare for what's to come.  After the six holds and five releases, I got two more holds. Ok for sure, I'm gonna book something. Nope! Released! Again! Both jobs. All I could do is smile because surely something amazing is around the corner. I know this in my heart and spirit.

What I have learned this year, honestly,  in the last month and a half, is how to endure the disappointments. I would state before that it doesn't get easier not booking the job, no matter how long you've been in the business. But I have to say in my present moment I beg to differ. What I know for sure is that GOD is in control. He has already proven that I am meant to be in this industry by the success I have already had, the tons of people who come up to me and say I inspire them, the eight recent holds and the constant reminder, encouragement, love and support I get from my friends and family.  I'm meant to be here and I am talented enough to be here. A release, hell, a booking doesn't 100% confirm that. There have been plenty of people not so talented or not even serious about being in this industry, get the job. I have to know despite who the client chooses for the job that that has nothing to do with me because I showed up, did my job and the rest is out of my control. Auditioning is preparation ... whether its in the casting room or in your living room.

But learning to completely rely on God has taught me the job doesn't give me provision but HE does. We too often times make our lives so much harder than it has to be. All God wants for us is to surrender to HIM so that He can show us how amazing and faithful He is. Surrendering doesn't mean giving up on your passion or dream but trusting in the gift GOD has given you and doing the work to prepare for the blessing God has in store for you ... which is usually bigger than we could even wrap our heads around. Doesn't that you get you excited for whats to come?

It may even come in a different form of what or how we perceive but it doesn't matter because we are  prepared to receive IT, whatever IT is. GOD is something else.

So if you are in a place of giving up and quitting. DON'T! Maybe you need clarity about where you are right now. Am I good enough? Am I too old? Why did I set out to do this? Why am I constantly up for the job but am not hired? ASK GOD the questions you want to know so that you are not receiving the wrong message from outside influences. You are good enough. You are successful. You are talented and meant to be right where you are. Be present in that moment. Accept it and move forward in it. I promise you what GOD will reveal will take you to another level in every level of your life.

Until Next Time: Pray, Prepare and God will Present.

Colossians 1:9-12 ... Continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. 

Wasted Talent

Hey errrrrbody as they say it in the DC area.  It's been a while since I've been on the blog but life happens. I know some of my blogs can be somewhat repetitious. "I'm tired of this industry. I got released again. I ain't auditioned in weeks. Somebody I thought was a friend -Aint!" You know just blowing off steam trying to handle life the best way I know how but hoping to help someone, including myself in the process.

Since my last post, I have booked a few jobs (Thankful)... direct bookings at that! Which is sweet. For those who may not be familiar with what a direct booking is, it means I was booked directly from my pictures. I didn't have to go in for a casting or audition. Throughout my career I've had some really nice ones come along. Recently, I was on hold for two nice jobs I went in for. I mean one could have put me in a different financial bracket. OK, not really BUT let's just say I could pay off some thangs!! For real, that last one I didn't book hurt my feelings. I mean I cried a little, shouted at GOD and then ate a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Ice cream makes everything better. But I've gotten through the blow and am working on some new projects and trying to re-birth some others.

I went out to Cali the end of June to reboot! I spent a week out there clearing my mind but also maximizing my time by visiting agencies and scheduling a photoshoot to update my portfolio. Here's one of my favorite images from the shoot!

I've been wearing my hair natural for almost two years now so I wanted to get some more looks with it in its new ... well original state. I've been getting tons of amazing feedback! I just need to book some work y'all. Ugh! I digress. I also met up with some friends out there who are also in the business and I managed to work in some fun too.

But what I will tell you about being in the industry I'm in, is that you will either quit or you will realize those "other" talents you have so that you can one, survive and two, keep busy enough to avoid driving yourself crazy waiting for your agent to call.  Sure, I've known for some time what other things I'm good at but I've been a lazy uncommitted procrastinator with no excuse.

We all want things to just be easy. Sometimes I'm like why couldn't my parents be rich or you know when something goes wrong in your house or your car, you wish you had someone in your family you could call to come fix it ... like for free. I mean can I have some doctors or dentists in my family. I'm not gon even go into these prices dentist are charging - I mean you have to damn near finance getting your teeth clean. No shade, I'm just sayin' - shout out to all my DDS's.

But anyway, back to the subject at hand.  There are some things I've had conjuring up as of late. Some great ideas that I think would really take off if I just get serious and focused, i.e. turn of Basketball Wives, Love and Hip Hop, The Braxtons .... HASHTAG DONTJUDGEME. Y'all know reality TV will suck you in. TV in general for all you Scandal and How to Get Away From Murder folks. Un hun. But as much as I get all caught up in the madness of crazy TV,  I could certainly choose to spend my time more wisely. There has to be a level of sacrifice to get the things you want. And what I want to be is happy, at peace, out of debt and NOT still busting my butt going to these casting and auditions as if I just started in this business. Jesus what is going on? I'm not saying I gotta be Zoe or Taraji (granted they do film and TV but you know what I'm saying) out this piece but I'm getting older and my mind and body just ain't what it used to be. HASHTAG EASYBUTTON ... Pleeeeease. OK, I'm sorry. Maybe this blog should be called something else like "Complaining,Venting and Gettin' Off the Subject". But that's what blogs are for right? To share your thoughts and feelings so you don't lose it on somebody or lose yourself. I'm just trying to let go and let GOD.

Any ole ways, I don't always know what HE's doing or why things don't go my way, but I Love GOD. Amidst the jokes and sarcasm, I know HE is real. HE continues to provide, comfort and protect me. And I certainly have much to be appreciative of. I've been successful as a model and commercial actress and I've done more than most. But boy does He have a way of whipping you into shape. He will squeeze everything out of you to get you where HE needs you to be. I've been blessed to be very creative, kinda cute and somewhat funny. But my creativity is what's going to push me to another level of reward, fulfillment ... greatness.  

Everyday I decide to just wake up and half ass or do nothing ... I push further away from my destiny. Today I am not all I could be ... spiritually, mentally or professionally. But it's time for me to stop focusing on this one side of me that's already been successful. Sure there are other levels I'd like to get to as a model and actress but I will have to create more avenues to get there, not necessarily because I have to but because I can. No, this blog entry isn't profound but a wake up call. I'm tired of waiting for other people to give me an opportunity. Feel me? Sometimes I wish it were easier, but if it were, everyone would do it.   

I hope I'm helping someone here because just writing this is getting me excited about all that I am capable of doing. What's your current situation? Have you applied your other skills to creating something outside of what you already do? Are you fully utilizing your talents and gifts? "Do not neglect your gift ... " 1 Timothy 4:14. HASHTAG NOTETOSELF.

I'm challenging you (and myself) to step out of your comfort zones, get pumped and riled up, focus, commit and DO SOMETHING ... ELSE!

Until Next Time ... Watch this awesome sermon from T.D. Jake's: https://youtu.be/DWOFcTc3K00

It inspired me so much.

*If for some reason the link gets deleted or you are having issues opening, copy and paste in your browser or google T.D. Jake's "Cheering You On". Its from his Aug 9, 2015 service. Enjoy!

Value in the Valley

If you are going to bring forth anything in your career, your marriage, or your life; if you're going to develop anything in your character; if you're going to be fruitful,  it will come through the things you suffer.  You will enter into strength through sorrow. - Woman Thou Art Loosed Bible.

Lord Have Mercy.  Woooooooh! It has been a challenging year for me.  I joined the union (SAG) and I have not booked one commercial. The commercial auditions have been few and far between and I can't even seem to get a callback. If I ever needed a miracle it is NOW. But that's how I feel.  GOD is in control and no matter how much I want things to change ... right now... in an instant ... the challenges just keep coming ... one after another.  In other words .. . I am going to have to fight for my career, for my joy, for peace ... for everything God has for me.

I quit #345! Yup, ready to give it up and turn it lose (remember that song by EnVogue) because it's hard. It hurts. It's frustrating. I'm tired. You've heard it all before ... I know, and I'm still here right? ... having persevered. This is just another valley in my career and it's going to make me stronger right? Well of course it is ... cause I'm still in it. But what about the "life" stuff that's going on too. Ugggh. Ok ... Let me just focus on my career at this point.

I've been in this industry a little over 8 years now. Not very long but long enough to be experienced. So this is what I do. I am a professional. I'm taking classes and networking hoping to grow in my craft and stand out. However, as I grow and change, the industry is changing ... and not in my favor.  Now, a large percentage of commercial auditions are non-union. Well that stinks for me because I've graduated to this high honor of being a part of the prestigious Screen Actors Guild (make sure you say that in like a deep announcer voice).  Well, while I'm making my way up the ladder (more like a step stool) ... among other prestigious actors, I will go hard and be booking tons of print work until my next big national commercial booking. Ummm not so much because the "industry" now wants to add video portions to print work because of the Internet and these castings are only open to non-union folks. So look at there, another reason for me to be frustrated and give up what I've worked so hard for. The devil is liar.

Then I think, well have I done all that I can do to get where I need to be? Let's face it it's not all up to me.  I have other people deciding my fate. If I'm not the "right" fit, I will not book the job. No matter how well I did in the audition. No matter how cute my boo thinks I am, I may not be the beauty they are looking for.  But then that's what is also frustrating. If you want women with long hair, why am I here?  If I'm not the right physique, why am I here? Can y'all be more specific so I can be more specific with my time. But half the time, if not most,  these folks don't know what they want.  (insert hissy fit)

Earlier this year I got called in for a Diabetes audition. The part wasn't specific so why should I think I don't fit whatever part or character they are looking for.  I get to the audition and the casting director pulls me in his office and says, "Monique, I think you're gonna be too thin for this role." Say what now? I just trekked all the way from Maryland (visiting my family) to get here for this union spot that could help me pay off some things and I ain't even right for the part?  (insert gas face and me faking like I'm ok with this ... I am actress after all).  I pulled it together and I went in there with my aspirational looking self and did my best. Sometimes your best isn't good enough ... for them. But you have to own what you do and be fine with it.  Leave it in the room (and how easy that ... it aint! Just saying)

In my anguish, heartache, frustration, sadness and anger I go in with prayer, reading, writing in my journal, networking, taking notes, reaching out to folks for encouragement, even doing a fast. Things I should be doing everyday or more often anyway (sigh). But in doing all of the above I came across this:  We all have dreams but if they are "our" dreams and we have not consulted our Heavenly Father, then they lack vision and purpose toward a higher goal.  

There is more to me than being in a commercial or featured in print ads, obviously. I'm a sister, aunt, friend, daughter ... I'm pretty dynamic.  I'm organized and pretty creative. Let's not talk about the projects I've started and why they are just sitting there waiting to be dusted off and put to use.  Maybe my vision is to narrow minded.  I'm not thinking big enough.  I need to buckle down and focus on God's plans, not my own. His will be the only to succeed anyways.  So, even if I wasn't right for the part, that experience is part of HIS plan and it will serve a higher purpose.  I have know that.

Until Next Time ... Don't become preoccupied with pain ... this is not the time to give up. PUSH because God is about to birth a promise through you. Cry if you must, and groan if you have to, but keep on PUSHING.  God has promised that if it is to come into the world, it has to push through you. -Woman Thou Art Loosed Bible

I've Come to Far to Give Up

One morning perusing Facebook I came across something a friend wrote. "If life is what you make it, then I choose to make it!"   I have often said the first part of that quote to friends, family and people I mentor but the way my friend put it, "I choose to make it" resonated with me.

Work has been very slow.  It has been a bit frustrating but I'm hanging in there.  The auditions are few and far between and I know in large part that has to do with my union status.  One casting director informed me that 60-75% of the commercial work is non-union.  Big blow and very discouraging.  But I've had some holds (being highly considered) and have booked a couple small jobs. I'm thankful!

Of course, this isn't the first time, that what seems to be a halt in my career has happened but even having been in this business for a while and experiencing amazing success, there are times I feel like giving it up, walking away ...  calling it quits! Yup! : /  It's hard y'all.  Especially if you don't feel like you are where you are supposed to be.

I think of all the things I want to do in my life and sometimes those things seem so far fetched especially being in the business I'm in.  It is so up and down. Consistency doesn't even seem to exist. I mean even when you're hot it doesn't seem like the work you're getting will ever be enough ...(money).  You're on set checking your phone, waiting for the call for the next job.

Over the years I've learned to handle the slow periods a lot better but I never get used to it it seems. Even though I know GOD is working on my behalf I can still get tempted by my flesh to think
that things are falling apart or not working.  But I know that not to be true at all.  I've been down this road tons of times and GOD has always seen me through.  So why can't I just deal with it and stop complaining, feeling discourage and fed up? Human nature I suppose.  

At a time like this it is important that I focus on all that GOD has already blessed me with.  I read where someone said instead of doing a vision board, make an accomplishment board and focus on those things. Good idea right? I've been on national television, national ads, have met people I would have never thought I'd meet, I'm living in the city of dreams and opportunities are at my feet. Like really, Monique? I've accomplished more than most people have thought of.  All the reasons to get away from the pity party I wanna sometimes throw myself.

These times most importantly, help me understand why I must have a relationship with Jesus. Why I need to stay connected to HIM.  HE wants the very best for me so I should always want the very best for myself even when things aren't going the way I would like. I have come to far to just give up. So I get it together, get fueled by HIS word and put in some work.

Acting and modeling aren't my only talents/gifts but it is what I desire to do to make a living and GOD has opened up doors that have given me the opportunity to do it.  I don't hold all the cards but I must face my challenges and see them as opportunity to grow. There is always work to be done even if I'm not booking as much as would like.  Elizabeth Gilbert says: "Every single obstacle, challenge and temptation that you learn to manage will help you gain your talents and powers, and shed your fears.  

So I'm working on strengthening my gift, my talents, my relationships... ME!! I'm taking classes, writing, networking, working out and doing what's necessary to prepare myself for what HE's getting ready to bless me with professionally and personally.  I'm am getting excited just thinking about it.

T.D. Jakes says "Critical opposition comes in our lives because we are blessed.  When GOD puts something down inside of you, in order to birth it out, it takes work! And in that work we will be strengthened in the inner man until we deliver that thing GOD puts inside of us."

Until Next Time .... DON'T GIVE UP! (note to self)

Union Status

I'm so late posting this but better late than never right? March 9th, 2014 marked 7 years from the time I left my 9 to 5 job in Silver Spring, Maryland to become a full-time model and commercial actress in New York City. Woo hoo! I'm still in this game of ups and downs - auditioning, going to castings, being put on hold, released or booked!

In January I was required to join the union ... SAG ... that would be the Screen Actors Guild y'all! #official! Yes I am an official union actor! I have to say it can be a bit intimidating in some ways! One, it cost a pretty penny to join and now you are among the best of the best. The latter not being a bad thing but definitely a sign that I have to step my game up.

Many actors are eligible to join SAG but many choose to hold off because of the amount of money it cost to join. But after you have booked a number of union jobs, normally about 3 for principle work you are required to join. No if ands or butts about it. If not you cannot do any SAG projects until you do so.

Seems like it should just be my choice if I want to join. However, sometimes we need to be pushed to another level. This was my destiny. Now whether I remain a union actor in good standing still remains to be seen. Read here: http://www.sagaftra.org/get-facts-about-financial-core. But I'm ready for the challenge. I mean after all I'm no big movie star making millions of dollars but it is possible to live quite comfortably as a commercial actress in the union. Read here: http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/world/5-richest-commercial-actors/

Honestly, some of my agents weren't jumping up and down because it pulls me out of the non-union pool. Which isn't a bad thing but the way the industry is set up there seems to be a lot more union work, speaking from a commercial point of view, out there.  But this is an accomplishment. Some actors never have the opportunity to be a part of such a prestigious honor ... Shoot let alone make it past a year in the industry. I've managed to make 7 years and I'm still going!! GOD has everything to do with that. And maybe a little of me ; )

But I am so thankful for my agents and the many casting directors that believe in my talent as a model and actress. I'm grateful for the huge amount of support from friends, family and people I don't even know. It has helped me work harder and be appreciative for all that has happened not just in my career but in my life.

Over the years people have asked will I ever do film or tv. I'm not pursuing it but who knows. I definitely don't turn down opportunities to grow in my craft. Now that I'm union who knows where this next chapter of my life will take me. But I'm ready! I have to be. The next door that opens could be MAJOR!!!

Check out these two blog posts recently written about me as well as my Walmart spot, currently running, that made me a must join for the union.

http://www.superwomanlifestyle.com/monique-model-proves-late-pursue-dreams/

http://thebrandistaguide.com/monique-pridgeon/ 

http://ispot.tv/a/7ThA (I play the mom in the 80's and the grandmother in the 2000's.) looks like you have to copy and paste this link.

Until next time ... Dare to dream and then take that dream, grab it by the stars and ride it to the moon!

Let It Be Healed

A few hours before my 40th birthday some information was shared with me.  It was shocking and hurtful. I couldn't even sleep through the night because it weighed so heavy on my spirit.  I tried to go through so many scenarios to make some sense of it but there were none.  It is wrong on so many levels. It's selfish and it's mean.

I thought immediately that this was a direct attack on me. I spoke with my mom and she said at one point,  Monique, it may not even be about you. I spoke with my father, and he said people have been doing this kind of thing since the beginning of time. Honestly, that's not what I wanted to hear. But I knew they were trying to help me through a tough situation.   Point blank period I was like this is wrong, its nasty and vindictive!! I was dumbfounded!

I thought about it for a week whether I would even entertain blogging about it. Not to publicize the situation but my feelings about it.  But it was on my spirit to because someone else may need to know how to deal in whatever situation they may be going through.  I have to say it is a hard pill to swallow.

BUT I have learned through this situation and all the tough and very low situations before it that I AM MADE OF SOMETHING. God would not bring me to it if HE could not bring me through it.  "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" (Job 13:15)  You don't quite know what you are made of until you've been under attack, through trial and tribulation.  You don't know how much you can endure or how much courage you have until pressure is applied to your life.

Some days you may feel like "will I make it through this mess?" "Why is this happening to me?" It's happening to you because you can handle it.   Sometimes its just the mess we need to save us.

You'll learn so many things as you mature and grow older, I hope. But one thing is for certain ... GOD IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS. Through all the disappointments, heartaches, bad decisions, regrets and sadness ... I am still here holding onto his word.  And so are you, my friend.  The bible says his grace is sufficient ... 

I have not always done the right thing. I've not always been the best daughter, sister or friend. I acknowledge that.  I'm not perfect. And I've been held accountable for my actions. But what  I do know at 40 years old that I am a good person and I am a strong person.   And throughout all the "not so good" the good definitely outweighs it.  Everyday, Im working on being a better me. And if that means going through some tough times ... then Im ready! Because GOD built me to handle whatever comes my way.

TD Jakes says don't let your flesh make decisions your head will have to deal with. If I am disciplined in my perspective then I will be victorious in my outcome.

Folks ... I've already won! 

Until Next Time ...   I know it hurts but  L E T   I T  B E   H E A L E D ...

Ready ... Set ... FORTY!!

The year was 1 9 7 4. It was January 3 around 10 in the evening at Providence Hospital in Washington, D.C. when a little light skinned baby girl with gray eyes and blond hair was born to two young kids named Frank "Duke" and Stephanie.  She would be the first grand baby girl to her fraternal grandparents, Frank "Frankie" and Sylvia "Peggy"  and the little sister to Everett, "Woo Woo".   That little girl was ME!

In just four days I will be embarking on a new decade of life. I will, by the grace of GOD be turning 40 years old.  Its pretty amazing to me that 40 years of my life have passed so quickly.  We as children want so badly to be grown and do things our older siblings or family are doing and before you know it we have reached the age of legality and soon after we have careers, are married, having children, becoming aunts and uncles, buying homes and taking care of our parents.  Life is coming full circle.

I have been so very blessed in my 39 years.  I've experienced happiness, sadness, disappointment, heartbreak, highs and lows.  Life is so amazing. Though, there is the inevitable ... death. I miss my family members and friends that have passed.  I miss them so much.  Its been over 20 years since my maternal grandmother's passing and I still grieve.  You never get over it.  Even loved ones you no longer have friendships with you miss them but everything is not meant to last forever.  Even in knowing that ... its so hard to let go of what once was.  These people were apart of your life for years and then they are just ... Gone.

I pray to GOD that he gives me strength in such situations. To help me get through knowing that everything will be OK. I imagine if I live another 40 years I will always be in prayer ... praying for some of the same things but thanking GOD for helping me through and living in the moment, appreciating what is now but thankful for what was as it has helped me become the person I am today.

WOW. 40! No one ever believes I'm as old as I am. Its pretty flattering but the reality is I am and I still have so far to go. So much more to learn.  So much more to do.  So much more to love.  So much more to see.  So much more to BE.  So many people don't make it this far so I have to believe that I'm still here for a reason.  I don't know when the Lord will call me home ... but I want HIM to say well done.  I don't want it to be any question that I didn't do my best while here on this earth. I don't want any regrets.

Thus far, I've been able to step out on faith and do the things I want to do. I bought a house. I quit my office job to become a professional full-time commercial actress and print model in New York City.  I let go of some relationships that weren't healthy.  I reconnected with some old friends and picked up with them as if we were never separated for 20 years. I've changed some of my ways and I've let go of letting other's people bull bother me. I'm still a work in progress ... whooo Lord... HELP ME!!! So much more I need to work on internally but I'm trying y'all.

I'm not married ... YET.  I don't have any children ... YET! Those things don't put me in a box but gives more to look forward to. All that GOD has promised for me is going to happen in HIS time.  Don't worry about whether I'm married, if I'm gonna have kids, or if I'm wealthy ... I'm HAPPY!!!  And I'm working on more HAPPY! The bigger picture is if I'm not already happy in my life none of those other things will make me.  I want those things to ADD to my happiness.  I don't want what others have ... I want what GOD has FOR ME!

I don't regret not settling for any guy because I NEED a man, I don't regret quitting my 9 to 5 job at 33 years of age because I NEED a job to pay my bills, I don't regret BEING HONEST with how I felt about how people have treated me, I don't regret NOT GIVING up in a business that can chew you up and spit you out, I don't regret not getting pregnant at a young age and being that "fly" momma when I'm 40 ... I'm gonna be fly at 60! Ya heard!

So everyone who is comparing themselves with others ... STOP IT!! #1 BE HAPPY that you woke up this morning with the breath of LIFE in you. #2 BE THANKFUL for the people who love you and are still around to tell you so #3 BE VULNERABLE.  It's the only way you will fully LOVE. Don't be scared about getting hurt or looking stupid. There's a blessing in the lesson. #4 BE YOURSELF! There will never be another you. Be true to the person GOD created you to be. #5 GO AFTER YOUR DREAMS ... I DON'T CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE! #5 THE DEVIL IS A LIAR #6 CRY UNTIL YOU FEEL BETTER #7 TAKE CARE of yourself. Mentally, Physically and Spiritually. Eat healthy and exercise. #8 BE KIND #9 PRAY #10 THANK GOD EVERYDAY, ALL THE TIME, WHEREVER YOU ARE.

I'm so thankful about what GOD has done for me! What HE is doing and will continue to do.  I am looking forward to new beginnings and a renewed sense of being in my 40's. I can't wait to share with you the good, the bad and the ugly. Let the journey begin!

Until then ... I wish you all a very Happy NEW YEAR!!! Praying PROSPERITY, LOVE, HEALTH AND PEACE for you in the New Year!!

Proverbs 4:10
Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. (NIV)

Proverbs 9:11
For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. (NIV)

FAST-Forward

Hey Blogger Family,

I know I know ... I have to do better at  posting.  The posts are few and far between but when I post I want it to be meaningful and really count for those of you who stop by to check in with whats going on with me.  Life is always happening ... whether I'm busy and being productive or I'm being lazy and watching television all day (unproductive).  Throughout the year a number of emotions settle in and sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.

The last two months I have been fasting.  I fasted in October and now I am currently fasting again.  I take on different sacrifice's. It could be anything.  Anything.  Mainly I try to choose things that prove to be a distraction or take up to much of my time unproductively. One year I fasted watching television for a week.  I got so much done including completing my website that I had procrastinated on starting for over a year. Got it done in two days.  Not to mention I was booking work like crazy! But more importantly it help me focus on more time with GOD. To hear his voice for guidance and wisdom, to focus on his word and what I needed to be doing personally and professionally.

I'm telling you y'all ... every time I fast ... GOD moves me FORWARD... ABUNDANTLY.  All of us experience periods of drought, discouragement, fear, craziness, sadness, regret ... all things negative to put us in a state of complacency and second guessing ourselves.  Sometimes I feel like I've accomplished nothing at all.  Like life is just standing still for me and I'm slowly sinking in a hole. But that's totally ridiculous, right? The enemy will trick you into believing that you are worthless, not important and a non-factor. The devil is a LIAR. I have so much to be thankful for and so do you.

We have so much going on that a lot of times we just don't take enough time to seek GOD's guidance. So when the tough times come, we just don't know how to deal.  It can be overwhelming. Friends and Family, if you are reading this today, it is time for you to dig deeper for your blessings.  GOD is blessing you anyway because if you are reading this HE woke you up this morning.  But HE desires a relationship with you so that HE can guide you, mold you, help you and most of all love you.  HE wants to see you succeed and grow. HE wants to take you to another level but you have to take your relationship with him to another level.

Last month I had a good run...I booked three jobs!!  It's mid-November and I have already booked two BIG jobs.  I'm shooting today and tomorrow and then I head to Tampa, Florida for another job that shoots on Friday. That's multiple jobs in ONE week.  If you are in my industry it is a big deal to have multiple jobs in one MONTH.  I'm also holding for another job that shoots next week.  We'll see how it goes. But I am already so very thankful for what GOD has done, is doing and will continue to do for me when I'm up and even when I'm down.  But the favor of GOD is upon me.  Hallelujah!!

Until Next Time ... If you want HIM to MOVE YOU FORWARD ... you have to sacrifice your wants ... to get what you need.  I'll be praying for you.

Restoration (Two-fold)

Hey Everyone,

Its been a good little while since I've written anything. No real excuse ... just life happening or lack thereof.  Being lazy and unmotivated.  Not good traits especially in the type of business I'm in. But I get tired. Tired of busting my butt, beating the pavement, smiling and profiling, and sometimes nothing seems to comes of it.

It doesn't matter how long you've been in the business you can still feel periods of disappointment, inadequacy, sadness, loneliness, depression and defeat. Sometimes it totally sucks!! But then again, it depends on how you look at things. And it also depends on what you're doing on a daily basis to keep thriving in the midst of of the drought. One of my favorite scriptures is, "Blessed are those who trust in the Lord. They are like trees planted along the riverbank with roots that reach deep into the water.  Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8. Man doesn't that give you motivation? Pops you right out of that funk and lights some fire under you.

I always try to remain positive but honestly its hard when things don't seem to be going your way. But, I have to remember that things will only go God's way.  Instead of whats NOT happening, I need to focus on what's happening...right now! Im alive! Im breathing! Im healthy! I am still in this game over 6 years in! But if I'm not putting in the work, why should GOD bless me? I mean HE does in spite of but we still have to work hard to gain success. Whether that's working out so you can maintain your body or updating your marketing materials so people know you still exist. Being prepared!! Isn't that what the Bible teaches us? It prepares us for life. What to expect and how to handle it.

It is important that we focus on a genuine consistent relationship with GOD.  It is the key to any of the successes we will have in our lives. He wants your time more than anything. When you focus on HIM, you won't even focus on what you think is NOT happening enough for you. You'll just appreciate all the opportunities that are happening at that moment. And then BAM ... He opens up doors we thought would never be opened.

In realizing what I need to do career-wise, I am also realizing more that there are things I am still dealing with that I thought I wasn't.  Things that could be affecting success in my career but more importantly success in my life as a whole. I have been putting up a facade.  I still talk about situations that I thought I dealt with or were out of my system.  Although I'm not holding any grudges I have obviously not let go of the hurt that was accompanied by what happened.

I'm reading the Purpose Driven Life, a book I bought last year and never really quite got through.  So in the midst of all that I feel is NOT happening, I decided OK, its time for me to dedicate some time to reading this book. I must say it is helping me realize some things about myself and some things I need to change.  Success doesn't just come from your career achievements but how you achieve spiritual freedom by letting go of situations that have hurt you.

You've heard the saying, "You can forgive but you'll never forget". It's true. Somehow we will always have a piece of us that reminds us of how someone treated us...good or bad.  But apart of growing in the spirit is realizing that everyone makes mistakes. A lot of times we do things to others because we ourselves are hurting or dealing with stuff that causes us to act irrational, completely foolish or hurtful. It doesn't make it right but when you notice how a person that has hurt you, has grown and is working to change those behaviors, we must also work on changing our mindset.  Leaving those hurtful situations in the past can help us fully love one another.  GOD knows our hearts.  And no matter how we try to convince ourselves that we are over it, HE knows the real deal. So we must deal with it and heal it.  Being fake for the sake of trying to appear like the bigger person doesn't make the underlying problem go away.

I had totally written off some people because of how they treated me. Sure I forgave them, I prayed for them, I may have even still associated or communicated with them, but I was or still am...HURT.  I had decided that I'm just not going to deal with them on the same level because I was tired of being treated unfairly, being misunderstood and betrayed. I was tired of apologizing for how I may have made them feel, working on being a better person to them but still being treated in a way that made me feel uncomfortable.

Reading the Purpose Driven Life, has given me another level of healing from those situations.  A lot of times we want to just give up on people ... but really we can't. No we can't control how others act but we can choose to act in a way that is loving and consistent to God's standards. How we chose to act can totally change the mindset of someone. We are examples of God's love. And when God's love is growing inside of you and exudes through you, at some point, there will be a transformation. You will notice the change in them. But we have to be open to that change and stop living in the moments that they hurt us. Note, this change doesn't happen overnight.

I know y'all ... its hard. BUT GOD ... whoooo ... He can work some things out in you that no therapist or psychiatrist can pull you through. Yes, thank GOD for them, but in the end HE is the one who can change your entire outlook on a situation. People you thought you'd never talk to again are at your home or are on the other end of your phone.

As I begin to peel away the layers that are still holding me back from being completely free of anger and hurt, I feel so much lighter.  Some bruised relationships are taking a turn for the better and I see how my positive, loving energy is affecting them and, it makes me feel really good. It feels right.  I'm taking ownership of my crap and cleaning my house (my spirit).  In the book it says, "Relationships are worth restoring. Because life is all about learning how to love, God wants us to value relationships and make the effort to maintain them instead of discarding them whenever there is a rift, a hurt, or a conflict."

Life is so short.

I'm moving toward a new decade in my life and I just really don't want to go into it with the old stuff that doesn't bring me any joy. Old stuff that causes me to treat others in a way that's not nice or unkind.  I no longer want to be held hostage by the past.

Until Next Time ... I ask you two things, What do you need to do to restore your passion for your career? and ... Who do you need to restore a broken relationship with today?

Relatable Scripture: 
I am focusing all my energies on this one thing; Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. (Philippians 3:13 NLT)

God has given gifts to each of you from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Manage them well so that God's generosity can flow through you. (1 Peter4:10-11 NLT)

Moving Forward ... Again

Moving forward was the Presidents slogan for his campaign this year.  But before the President made it popular, we've all been trying to do that since the beginning of time. Slavery, Racism, Inequality, Abuse, Failure, Disability, etc.   Moving forward isn't always as easy as it seems.  We can hype ourselves up about doing it, be good one day and then something triggers up that day, that time, those feelings from the past and we are right back campaigning in sorrow and defeat.

Time ...  does ... heal ...  all ... wounds.  It may take years, it may even be accompanied by some form of therapy but you will get to a point will you no longer want to wallow in that "stuff".  We may never forget the hurt of the past BUT GLORY, if you look for GOD, HE will find you. HE will remove it.  Just ask and HIS promises will be delivered.

It is an awesome splendor to have been somewhere so dark, cruddy and lonely and then you finally see progress...hope!!   A weight has been lifted, your heart has is awake and your life is shifting, your goals are aligning and all you see is how GOD has moved in your life. Where you were and how far you've come. You'll sit back and think, "I can't believe I even let that bother me!"

In the midst of tragedy, of hurt, of death, of failure, of distress and fear. HE is good. He is merciful and Almighty. *insert praise dance here* ;)

I pray that we all find comfort in the Lord through whatever we've been through, are going through and will go through.  Life doesn't stop until the "end" ... until then we must live in knowing that there is so much more than living in the past.

I pray that we all find healing, strength, courage, humor, love, peace, happiness and forgiveness.

Have a Wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year ... moving forward.

Thanks to everyone who has subscribed to or follows my blog.  Your support has been amazing.  And if I am able to help any one of you that read it, then I've done a good work.   I look forward to connecting with you in the New Year!!

Until then ... GOD BLESS YOU and YOUR FAMILIES.

P.S. TREAT YOURSELF, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY, STRANGERS ... BETTER. IT COUNTS IN SUCH A BIG WAY.

Too Much Advice?

This may be a continuous pain in the butt throughout your life.  Whether it hits you personally or to someone you know. Dealing with people who have no respect for you, who are unhappy about the things happening for you and will do everything in their power to make sure your life is as uncomfortable, sad and negative as their own.  These are wealthy people, beautiful people, people who may have some really good things happening in their lives but all the good that is happening for you is the bane of their existence.

This is a person who has even helped you in a time of need, let you cry on their shoulder, maybe even helped you out financially. But even with all they have done for you, and lets just add you've done some really awesome, from the heart, because you love this person things for them as well, does not constitute them treating you like crap. NOTE: This is abuse.

Of course throughout the years you grow to the love this person but while you are steady growing they are steady on some other sh*t! Excuse my language.  But it really is more effective.  What do you do? When do you say enough is enough.  When do you say, hey I love you, but I love me more and this just ain't working out.

A friend of mine called me last night about a friendship that has been offering her nothing but disappointment on a sliver platter.  So me being a seasoned veteran in this area...LOL... no but its really not funny, I was there to hear her out and try to give her some sound advice.

While offering my advice, and this happens often, I revert back to a situation that happened to me.  In doing this, am I re-living the situation? Am I still hurt about it? Must I always use those situations as examples to get my point across? I mean I've managed to keep my head above the crap and have been able to move passed it ... I think?

Whatever it is, after I've finished the conversation, I always feel like now why did I bring that back up? Like, was it necessary?  My advice should be based on how I rose above it right?   Maybe in all my advice giving, I never really figured out after you decide to move past the relationship,  how do you move past what the person did?  Is that even possible? You may forgive but you never forget.  Maybe I'm over-reacting. Maybe its just an honest effort to help the person understand why I had to make the decision to not be friends with this person any longer.  People do some F'd up stuff man! NO I'M NOT PERFECT.  But some stuff you should never do.  I'm just saying. I digress.  

Maybe talking about it is a part of my healing process.  I don't know.  But it'd sure be awesome to be able to just zap all the bull crap that ever happened to you from your memory right?  But then how would we be able to help others?  Everyday all of us are going through situations to strengthen us, to help us grow and to help someone else. But does it mean they have to know every detail about how you got there? Geesh, I got 99 questions and a answer for none. LOL.

Well what I will work on is focusing on what it is the other person needs and not what I think I need to promote for them to understand why they should ultimately, make the decision that is best for them.  Now suppose they ask you what happened? Well, really all they need to know is that hey, that person did some things that were not cool, very unfriendly and I had tomake the clear decision to start a new chapter ... without them.   You will always remember what they did, and it may take some time to let that part go of deciding to forgive them, but over time, it will become less of a detailed chapter in your life.

Until Next Time ... Remember not everybody deserves the luxury of your friendship.

What a Week!

The last five days have been a roller coaster of emotions.  After a long lull, GOD blessed me with a big booking.  It shot in Raleigh, North Carolina with an amazing cast and crew.  The Friday before I was to leave for Raleigh I learned a friend lost her baby.  I was in such shock.  She just had a baby shower and I even got a chance to rub her belly.  And in one instance ... the baby is lifeless. Not even a chance to enter this world and grow up to be a toddler, a kid, a teen, an adult.  A baby not to be nurtured by his mother but by the Father.  One could think it may be a better place to be instead of in this cruel corrupt world. To grow up in the Kingdom can only be a special privilege, right?  To never have sinned, to have your heart broken or experience a loved one's death.  I can't imagine what she must be feeling.

Then this past Saturday, I lost my grandmother who was 82 but had been ill for sometime.  She suffered from a neurological disease that caused her body to shut down. She was bed ridden for years and for the last year she was being fed through a feeding tube.  Over the years, I watched how her body deteriorated but amazingly how her mind was still sharp.  Although she was immobile and could hardly speak, at least clearly, when I would come to visit her, she always greeted me with a big smile.

I saw her a week before she passed and I got to see that big ole smile one more time.  Through her thick full head of salt and pepper gray hair that stayed in a pony tail and her flawless skin, I saw that she was tired.  Something definitely felt different this visit.  Something in her eyes and her breathing was accompanied by a groan. Like she was fighting to breath.  Maybe I sensed the end was near.  Saturday, October 24th, 2012 she went home.

I am at peace with her death. For some reason it seems easier to mourn the elderly. I mean 82 years is a long time to be here on earth. We can only hope that we make it as far and in good health.  But I feel joy and relief because she is no longer suffering. She no longer has to lay in that bed with her feet and toes bent in different directions, with her neck slumping over or bed sores consuming her body. No more being fed some beige liquid through a tube and being washed from a pan.  She's got her wings and a brand new body ... eternal life.

On Monday, October 26, 2012 Hurricane Sandy ripped through the Northeast like a Tasmania devil.  Ruining hundreds of homes, costing many lives and leaving a lot with no power. Sandy pretty much shut two states down. It's three days later and some still have no electricity, including me.  The client flew us all out on Sunday morning so that we could beat the storm.  So I was not at my home in Jersey to experience the storm or the aftermath and because of my grandmothers passing I was flying to Maryland which hadn't experienced the same amount of destruction as New Jersey and New York.

People have lost homes, loved ones, and memories. No one imagined that Sandy would be this devastating.

I woke up this morning, Thursday, November 1, to head to the airport to go home to Maryland and I learned my dear friend lost her fight to breast cancer.  I ... cannot ... believe ... this ... I only knew my friend for maybe a year or so but she touched my life greatly.  I knew that she was battling cancer but with her vigor for life, her positive attitude, her beautiful smile, her confidence and strength ... she was incredible ... you would have never known this illness was eating her up inside. I loved this girl.

As I write this, I just continue to shake my head because I just can't wrap my head around it.  She left behind two children. This was just so unexpected ... for me anyways. For a lot of us, really. She just celebrated her 37th birthday. Maybe she didn't want us to worry or be wrapped up in her fight.

But we were just getting started.  We had accumulated so many memories already. We spent the holidays together. We brought in 2012 together. Who would have thought two months shy of another new year, she would be gone. 

Death is so final ... on this side anyways.  I will miss the fact that I won't meet my friends first baby. I will miss my grandmother.  I will miss my friend. But by God's grace, I will see them again.  Yes, it hurts that I can't just pick up the phone and call my friend or get in my car and go visit my grandmother, but they are no longer suffering.  No one wants to live in physical pain.  The pain we feel is intense right now, and we will still hurt, but it does it get better.  My grandmother and Rina were not going to be healed on this side so they had to move on.   I have to be at peace with that.

We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.  - 2 Corinthians 5:8

For those who are going through trying times right now because of the storm, be thankful that you still have your life.  You can get new homes, new clothes, new material things ... replacements.  You can even make new memories. It may take some time, it may even seem impossible, BUT GOD, you will get there, you will get through.

Until Next Time ... Cherish your family, your friends, your experiences ... because in the blink of an eye they can be taken away from us and then all we have to cherish is our memories ... Make them great! Make them count!  I pray for peace, for recovery and healing for us all.  

An Invitation With Purpose

Earlier this year I was invited to speak on the Beauty Panel at a conference for women entrepreneurs. Never did I imagine the wealth of information I would receive or the fire it would light in my soul. At first, I figured I'd just attend the day I was scheduled to appear. But, the invitation was extended for me to attend the entire three day conference, which I might say, kind of changed my life.  My way of thinking, at least.

Being in a business of uncertainty and so many up and downs, its important to create other streams of income. As I  grow wiser, I understand its not just to create income but to help others in the process. Four years ago, I created a name for a business I wanted to start.  Looking back now, my vision wasn't really clear.  But over those three days, it became crystal! After a few appointments over the years, I finally got my niche! After a hundred names for my business, I finally have the perfect one.  I have a clearer vision, a clearer understanding and purpose for what I want to do and how I want to do it.

It's amazing when you get focused and in tune with your creative self, without a lot of distractions, how much more creative you can be. I absolutely cannot wait to share my business with others and gain purpose in helping others pursue their dreams, passions or even just their hobbies.

I am so proud of me for not limiting myself to being just a panel expert and making the decision to invest in myself so that I can grow my business as an expert in my field, helping others gain the knowledge they need to be courageous and successful, really, in anything they do.

UNTIL NEXT TIME ...   Don't limit your possibilities by holding onto your gifts.  They are are meant to be shared. #passiton

GOD's Armor

The last few months have been a little hard to swallow. I've been auditioning quite frequently ... every week, just about everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 auditions in one day. I've been called back or on hold for most of those auditions and I ain't booked not a one. (insert twisted face here)

What happened to my fire?  Well it appears it has fizzled...(just for now)... But when its fizzling more than smoking, I figure out quickly what the issue is. LACK OF COMMUNICATION AND PRAYER WITH GOD. HE always knows how to reel me back in. And I'm not just talking about a little prayer on the side of the bed. I'm talking about going in the closet, in the darkness and seeking intercession.

The LORD giveth ... and the LORD taketh away... so don't get too cute strolling down your runway of success that you forget to recognize (on a daily basis)  the ONE responsible for ALLOWING you to have opportunities you never fully imagined.  Sure, our lives are already mapped out.  Predestined.  But um, if you know the GOD I know, HE can very well change your course.

Trust me,  I've been through enough challenging experiences to know that HE will never leave me nor forsake me.  It doesn't mean the enemy isn't constantly on his job trying to fill my head with negative feelings.  He wants me to wear discouragement, self-pity and sadness.  Which is why its important we learn the word so that we can pray scripture when he's trying to attack.

I subscribe to a few bible study and inspirational sites to help me with staying the course. But even they can get backed up and placed in a folder to read later.  One things for sure, I ain't busy working right now so I got plenty of time to be in the word.  BINGO! See how GOD works. Sometimes you gotta just laugh ... because we know better.  We know HE loves us so all we can say is "I know I know" and get to work.

One of the christian communities/sites I subscribe to had a series called Dressed for Success. It started out with the obvious, entering the workforce, interviewing and the sort.  But furthermore, it stated something so obvious to most Christians, but still very powerful in its teaching that touched me that I realized it was time to blog.  Yeah I know ... its been a minute. ; )

It said, "if we step into the arena of life dressed in our own human power and abilities we will surely fail, but if we are dressed in the power and armor of GOD, we will experience SUCCESS."  AMEN to that!!! Ain't nothing but the T.R.U.T.H, TRUTH.  So why wouldn't I, You or Anybody Else not stay grounded in the word?  Why wouldn't we set time aside to have a lil chat with HIM? It can only help us be amazingly successful in EVERYTHING we do.

Until Next Time ...  No matter  how good we look going in for an interview or an audition or how much we think we have it in the bag, GOD has the final say. No matter how many successes we've had or amazing opportunities have opened us for us,  nothing else can equip us more, take us to our fullest potential then seeking and staying in the word of GOD.  What are you waiting for?

Stroll Models

Saturday, April 21, 2012 ... Beautiful! Amazing! Supportive! Encouraging! Surprising! Love! Are just some of the words I use to describe that day.  Our team, the Stroll Models set out with our nikes and athletic gear to walk for Multiple Sclerosis. The forecast called for rain but it turned out to be an 80 degree day with hundreds of people turning out to support people suffering with MS. We were only trying to raise $500 but we raised $2500! We started out with 12 team members but the team grew as we joined our counterparts and became one big team walking and supporting the same cause.

We hugged each other, rooted for each other, took pictures with each other, and uplifted one another.  We took our time and soaked up the sun. We walked over 7000 steps, 3 miles to be exact! Cheerleaders greeted us at the finish line and then got in a few line dances.

Can you imagine after walking 3 miles, we had the energy to dance!!? Our feet had the audacity to keep moving? LOL. But some people affected with MS can't move.  We danced to give them hope. Inspiration. Even if it inspired them to lift a hand, snap a finger, tap their foot or simply smile.  We were dancing in their honor, for our accomplishments, and the victories won.

Next year we plan to start raising money early and hopefully rounding up more team members so we can really make a big impact not just in dollars but in numbers as well.  To Angela, Tony, Kai, Sabrina and so many others suffering with MS ... we love you and will do all we can to make sure treatment is available, treatment advances and one day, we find a cure.

Until Next Time ... Encourage! Donate! Support!  ... Something!

Ms. Under Estimate

As tired as I am, and with all I have coming up in the next few days, I just had to get in a quick entry.  Just three weeks ago, I starting raising money in honor of my friends and others affected by Multiple Sclerosis.  I started out with low expectations.  I felt because I only started 3 weeks before the walk that I couldn't possible raise more than a few hundred dollars.

But as I saw the out pour of support from friends and family my expectations grew.  Five hundred dollars was my personal goal and as I surpassed that, I increased my goal.  I raised it to $650.  Then I surpassed that.  I raised it to $850. Then I surpassed that. So I got it in my mind that I was just gonna go to $1000.  Why not? If GOD saw fit me for me to seek this challenge, I was going to accomplish more than I could imagine.

When you think small ... you get small.  I can say even in auditions, I've doubted myself.  Thought I couldn't possibly book a job or even do well in the audition because maybe I felt inexperienced, I wasn't in shape or I didn't look young enough.  But there I go again. If GOD brought this audition/challenge to me then I must have what it takes to even be called in for it right?

I often underestimate myself. Why? Who knows. I guess we all have our issues. But we have got to seize each opportunity as if it were our last.  We have to go at it with everything we've got, especially if its something we really want.  When you put in the time and effort, "the work" to see it through, then only good things can come out of it. Whether I book the job or not, I still had the opportunity.  And who knows where that opportunity will lead me later on that month, that year, or just in life.

I am proud of myself that I was able to surpass my initial fund raising goal and raise the $1000 dollars I went for!!! I guess my career started out that way.  I kind of went in with small goals, wanting to do certain things, staying safe ...  but  I've put in the work, I know exactly where I want to go, what I want to do, where I want to be and I'm going go for it! I know I know, I went for it... I quit my job and I've successfully managed to have a career doing what I love.

But its time for my career, my LIFE to evolve with BIGGER hopes, dreams and purpose!  

As a team, we've managed to raise close to $2000. By the time I finish writing this we may have hit that mark.  But even if we didn't, we still went further than we ever expected.  And well, that's pretty awesome.

Until Next Time ... THINK BIG!!

Stand or WALK for Something

As I get older, I realize the importance of giving back.  Whether its to family and friends, or to a complete stranger, the feeling of helping someone just because or for a cause, brings me in closer presence with GOD and HIS purpose for us here on earth.

I've encouraged others through conversations or a card. I've given away tons of clothing that were too small or I haven't even worn. I've helped clean houses, served the homeless and prayed for others.  But my mission seems to go a lot farther than that.  Or maybe its just doing 'more' of it.

In 3 days I'll be participating in the MS Walk in Washington DC.  I'll be walking in honor of two friends with the disease as well as for others affected by Multiple Sclerosis.  One friend has had it for 14 years now and she's doing unbelievably well. She has been able to manage the disease without prescribed medicines.  However, the disease affects everyone differently.

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society raises money every year to continually provide treatment and hopefully, one day find a cure!

We only started 3 weeks ago to try and raise funds and our goal was small because we wanted to be realistic about starting kind of late.  However, we have tripled our goal and are still working to raise money up until the walk on Saturday.  I am so excited and thrilled about being a part of this movement.

I've never done anything like this before but this experience, thus far, shows me the impact I can have on others to stand for something.  To show others that I don't mind giving of my time, energy or even money to support them during life changing experiences.   I'm just one person of many but we all should find the time to walk, fight, dance, run, donate ... make a difference in someone's life.

Until Next Time ... In the midst of pursuing your dreams, having families, partying, vacationing ... just living ... find time to make life count, not just for you, but for others too.

Working Beyond Yesterday

So much has happened in the last few months, career wise.  The auditions have been plentiful and I've booked the majority of them.  And now all the work that I've done is being brought to the masses via Television and Advertisements.  People are contacting me left and right about seeing me and how proud they are of  the audacity I had to pursue a career like this.  A career that most won't have the courage to pursue or the faith to stick in there and see it come to fruition.

All the work I've done has been is an amazing accomplishment. But don't get it twisted, there is still more to be done, especially if I want to succeed financially.  The bills will keep coming, I still gotta eat and well, life goes on.  While I'm not setting out to be some big time super star, not in the eyes of man anyway, I still have to work to stay fresh and current, improving my skill, mastering my art and always staying on top of my game.  Whether its exercising or taking a class, networking or volunteering, I have to keep the ball rolling.

There are so many talented, beautiful people in this industry and we all can get lost in the "cattle".  But there has to be something about me that sticks out so that I can eventually get the job!  In the last week I was on hold for 4 jobs and got released from them all.  Although it could have been a number of reasons why I didn't book the job, I have to look at how I've been maximizing my time ... more specifically, my career.

I've gotten used to the releases, no callbacks and such ... that's a part of the process.  But when I've not been doing all I can to create a thriving career for myself, then those disappointments can be a bit irritating.  You get out what you put in.  And frankly I've not been putting in much these days.  Nobody is going to work harder for me, than me. Sure, I've put in the foot work (pounding the pavement), but when clients are booking a job, you're feet are probably the last thing they are looking at. Unless of course its an audition for feet.  But you get my point.

I have just not been the productive, go getter I know myself to be.  I've been productive in my mind (lol) but I've yet to get or keep the ball rolling. I've gotten comfortable. And comfortable does not keep you working. It just makes you lazy, unfulfilled and just waiting around for the next call.  It produces lack, insecurity, frustration and a bunch of wasted time.  I am by no means beating myself up. I'm just keeping it real with myself.  I have to get out of this rut.

When reading scripture today, I came across this passage. This is the Message translation:

1 Corinthians 9:26-27: I don't know about you, but I'm running hard for the finish line.  I'm giving it everything I've got.  No sloppy living for me! I'm staying alert and in top condition.  I'm not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself.

If this didn't touch my spirit to the 100th level.  GOD knows my potential better than anyone.  That's whats so great about being a child of GOD, cause at some point HE will call you out on your mess and you have no choice but to listen. And when GOD speaks to you ... HE does it in a profound way.  The message I received made me want to light 10 fires under me and get to moving along with all I've been putting off.  While I'm sitting around, lounging, watching the tube, someone else is getting new marketing tools together, planning shoots, in the gym, updating, purging, and moving their career right along even when they aren't booking jobs.

So until next time: "If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven't done much today!"

The Measure of Success

I had every intention on posting about my anniversary on my anniversary ... my 5 year anniversary in the business that is! March 9th marked 5 years from the time I left my 9 to 5 to pursue my life as a full time model and commercial actress.  I think I expressed in a previous post that I when I quit, Im really not sure I grasped exactly what I was going to be doing or even how long I was planning on doing it.

I always did some type of modeling but I don't think I ever expected I'd be doing commercials and hosting. I mean hosting wasn't too far fetched because of my degree in journalism, but it didn't really enter my thought process as a career goal. *shrugs*  Probably because I wasn't  FOCUSED.   My major was theater when I first started college and doing theater is the furthest thing from my mind now.  Im not too far removed from doing television and film, but its certainly not what Im seeking to do. Im just not passionate about it.  But I am open to challenging myself and auditioning for a role that comes across my plate that moves me.

I must say, I have done quite well in 5 years.  I cannot complain.  I've done tons of commercials and print ads and am becoming quite recognizable and respected in the industry. I always tell people Im not in this business to become a household name or famous.  I just want to experience the joy of doing what I love and making a living out of doing it.

I've had conversations with friends, family members or just acquaintances who know what I do, have seen some of my work and are excited about it all.  But they haven't seen the blood, sweat and tears.  They haven't seen every thing I've done or realize what it takes to be in this business.  They say, 'you're time is coming," "success is knocking at your door," "one day it's going to happen".  I have to laugh because all of what they are saying is here... RIGHT NOW!  My time is here.  Success has knocked and we are toasting to it, "IT" has happened, is happening and is continuing to happen ... by the Grace of GOD!

Often times people measure success by what others have accomplished.  Everyone's goal is not the same.  Everyone's journey isn't the same.  And everyone's mentality sho' aint the same. LOL.  I will never be a Halle Berry, a Kristen Wiig, or  Tyra or even the Progressive Insurance lady ... but I will always be the best Monique in whatever is Im doing.

Sure, Success is continuous but for me, its not measured by what others are doing but what I hope for,  for my own career and the things I want to attain.  And maybe that's just being a really good, hard working, consistently working commercial actress, model, host with maybe a few more things up my sleeve.  We'll see... ; )

Until next time ... "Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in it, and it will come naturally."

Valuable Lesson

Definition: Value - Ability to produce good; to see the importance of; to have respect for.

"Values are essential to effective leadership. They are the uncompromisable, undebatable truths that drive and direct behavior. They are motivational, giving us the reason why we do things; and they are restrictive, placing boundaries around behavior. Values are those things that we deem important and that provide direction and guidance in spite of our emotions."


Its been a little while since I've posted something. Mainly because I've been completely unmotivated, personally and professionally.  After an amazing month of bookings in December, during the holiday break, I slowly settled into being lazy and doing absolutely nothing.  Not a good look.  Especially being self-employed, I am pretty much responsible for every aspect of my career.  Hiring, Marketing, Promotion, Admin, Office Manager ... well you get the picture.  And well I've been more employed on the couch and in front of the tube being completely unproductive.

My career and personal life are in Phase 2.  I am definitely on another level as far as what I want out of both.  But Im not necessarily making the moves to make some of those things happen.  In realizing where I want to go next, during this time I realize that by me sitting around doing nothing, I am de-valuing myself.  Aside from my professional talent,  I have to realize also, what I can offer others outside of the business Im in.

I have helped numerous people in different ways, many in how to get in the business, be patient, stick with it and keep it going.  But GOD has blessed me with other talents that can help people beyond what they see on tv and in magazines.  I think somewhere along the way, my value got sucked into everything I was putting into my career and now, Im just feeling unfulfilled.

Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but I want to be doing more for others.  So in my quest to get motivated, hyped, amped, pumped and getting back in the groove of my career, I will be looking into other ways I can utilize all of my valuable assets.  I've made efforts but haven't quite completed the task.  Slowly but surely, Im gaining momentum and getting back into the swing of things.  But honestly, there is no time to waste.  There is a trash can full of time wasted with my name on it.  Tomorrow is not promised, and I sure don't want to face GOD with any should've would've could'ves.

I don't want to regret NOT sharing ALL the gifts GOD has blessed me with.

Until Next Time: Remember ... What GOD gives us is not for us to hoard for ourselves.  It is meant to be shared so that our blessings can infect other's so that they too, may blessed.