As I embark on a new chapter in my journey to be a successful model, actress and host, I was reminded this evening, even through all the ups and downs, crying, worry and self-pity, my experiences leading up to this point could have been worse.
Over a meal, with a friend who is also in the business, she revealed a part of her journey that I was not aware of. My mouth literally dropped and my eyes popped as she told stories of nights she didn't know where she was going to stay, where she thought about staying or where she wind up staying. : O I couldn't believe it. This woman was/is brave! I could not imagine having the nerve to stand up to some of the situations and decisions she faced. But sometimes, ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
All she endured and how she's come through, was just another clarification to me from GOD, that everything is going to be ok and basically to stop all the whining missy! It's late, but I just had to pop on the computer and remind myself and all who are reading, that despite what you think you're going through, somebody's journey, process, season or situation is or may be worse. Not that that's something to revel in, but it helps me appreciate that fact that, well, IT COULD BE WORSE.
Each day I fight. Some days harder than other's. I will make it through because I always do. And so will you. Did I just rhyme? LOL. Keep on pushing ... keep on striving ... "keep rising to the top, while my mind says give it all ya got give it all ya got!
Until Next Time ... Appreciate what you do have and stop worrying about what you don't have. Good Night~ *YAWN*
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
My Testimony
Today is Monday... already. A few days home and tomorrow I'm back to NYC. I subscribe to Streamingfaith.com, a christian based website that sends daily devotionals. I have over 200 of these devotionals sitting in a folder, waiting to be read. I decided a few weeks ago that I would wake up each morning and read at least 5 of them so I could try to catch up. Needless to say, that hasn't been happening.
Today proved different. I turned on my computer to check out an email someone sent me. Before I knew it, I was reading a devotional. What caught my eye was the word TESTIMONY. Usually, an entire week will be surrounded by a certain theme. The 5 I wind up reading all had to do with TESTIMONY. As I began reading, of course, it hit home. Ironic? No! Just the power of GOD and how and where he moves us to open our spirits to HIS presence and his working in our lives. Those messages were for me, right then.
As I've gotten older I've come to realize that GOD allows challenges, storms or struggles in your life to bring you closer to HIM. At least that's what I believe. Often times we can get so caught up in ourselves that we don't realize that GOD is always with us, guiding us through it all.
I got real caught up in ME this weekend. Feeling sorry for myself when I know that GOD has this think under control. But I'm human. I've also not been up to par with praying and meditating. HE KNOWS that. HE knows just how to get you back on track, hence the pity party I gave myself. In my reading, I came across this, "When HE presses down on our lives, GOD tends to break up those things we have relied upon for so long."
Which brings me to the 3 and half years I've relied on others to open their homes to me as I crashed on their futons and air mattresses, ate some of their food, sucked in their heat and AC, watched their televisions, used their water, towels, wash clothes and invaded their privacy. That whole process is now very uncomfortable for me. It's time for me to move on. I can't continue to rely or expect them to do this for me. I'm a grown woman making grown up decisions that affect me but should not have to affect everyone else. It's time to move on. GOD has made that very clear.
Will it be challenging? YES? But I've always made it through. ALWAYS. EVERY TIME. ALL THE TIME. I can't rely on people. I have to rely on GOD. HE's the only one that is consistent and constant. So why would I expect more from anyone other than the only ONE in control.
I wonder sometimes why I wasn't as "fortunate" as others that have family that live in other places. All of my family is here in DC. Except for my dad, who lives in SC now. But there's nothing going on in SC. LOL. Why couldn't I have a family living in NY? Why couldn't' t I have parents with loads of money, so they can help me get a place in NY? Why can't my career take off as quickly as I would like? Why? Why? Why?
I wasn't given all these material things but I was given a testimony! "We are given the power of eyewitness testimony to persuade others of GOD's grace, love and mercy and to encourage others. Let's be alert of the opportunities that GOD will give us to tell of our story of HIS working in our lives." That's pretty awesome. My story can encourage someone and through all the challenges they may face, I can say, "hey you'll make it through because I have, let me tell you why." WHAAAT? That's powerful! I AM very fortunate!
Embrace the struggles. "Understand that struggle serves as crucial evidence that GOD is near." "As long as you stay in the struggle, so will GOD." Your struggles give you a testimony.
Today proved different. I turned on my computer to check out an email someone sent me. Before I knew it, I was reading a devotional. What caught my eye was the word TESTIMONY. Usually, an entire week will be surrounded by a certain theme. The 5 I wind up reading all had to do with TESTIMONY. As I began reading, of course, it hit home. Ironic? No! Just the power of GOD and how and where he moves us to open our spirits to HIS presence and his working in our lives. Those messages were for me, right then.
As I've gotten older I've come to realize that GOD allows challenges, storms or struggles in your life to bring you closer to HIM. At least that's what I believe. Often times we can get so caught up in ourselves that we don't realize that GOD is always with us, guiding us through it all.
I got real caught up in ME this weekend. Feeling sorry for myself when I know that GOD has this think under control. But I'm human. I've also not been up to par with praying and meditating. HE KNOWS that. HE knows just how to get you back on track, hence the pity party I gave myself. In my reading, I came across this, "When HE presses down on our lives, GOD tends to break up those things we have relied upon for so long."
Which brings me to the 3 and half years I've relied on others to open their homes to me as I crashed on their futons and air mattresses, ate some of their food, sucked in their heat and AC, watched their televisions, used their water, towels, wash clothes and invaded their privacy. That whole process is now very uncomfortable for me. It's time for me to move on. I can't continue to rely or expect them to do this for me. I'm a grown woman making grown up decisions that affect me but should not have to affect everyone else. It's time to move on. GOD has made that very clear.
Will it be challenging? YES? But I've always made it through. ALWAYS. EVERY TIME. ALL THE TIME. I can't rely on people. I have to rely on GOD. HE's the only one that is consistent and constant. So why would I expect more from anyone other than the only ONE in control.
I wonder sometimes why I wasn't as "fortunate" as others that have family that live in other places. All of my family is here in DC. Except for my dad, who lives in SC now. But there's nothing going on in SC. LOL. Why couldn't I have a family living in NY? Why couldn't' t I have parents with loads of money, so they can help me get a place in NY? Why can't my career take off as quickly as I would like? Why? Why? Why?
I wasn't given all these material things but I was given a testimony! "We are given the power of eyewitness testimony to persuade others of GOD's grace, love and mercy and to encourage others. Let's be alert of the opportunities that GOD will give us to tell of our story of HIS working in our lives." That's pretty awesome. My story can encourage someone and through all the challenges they may face, I can say, "hey you'll make it through because I have, let me tell you why." WHAAAT? That's powerful! I AM very fortunate!
Embrace the struggles. "Understand that struggle serves as crucial evidence that GOD is near." "As long as you stay in the struggle, so will GOD." Your struggles give you a testimony.
Until Next Time ... GO OUT AND SHARE YOUR TESTIMONY!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Breaking Point
Ever so often I hit a low. I assume we all do. You have doubts, regrets, sadness, emptiness ... any feeling that puts your spirit at an all time low. I really can't complain. My life has been pretty fruitful. But we all experience challenges. My grandmother died almost 20 years ago and I still mourn her loss. That lady was everything to me. I didn't realize that until I got older. She really shaped who I am today. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and they have always loved and supported me. They were young when they had me, but no matter what challenges they faced, they made sure that I had. Even if they weren't the ones that gave it to me.
So in addition to the emptiness I feel about my grandmother and a couple other personal issues, I'm just tired, mentally and physically. The whole back and forth thing, from MD to NY, lugging bags and the ultimate ... asking friends can I crash with them. While I can't expect them to understand every time I need a place to stay, it still feels like a burden to not only stay with them, but to just ask. I've been lied to and given elaborate stories even. LOL. As I write this I can't help but laugh. People are funny.
So with a mix of emotions that started on Thursday night. I got my crying, screaming, kicking and yelling on. I threw myself a big pity party. I strolled in with violins playing, grabbed my box of tissues and got my party on. Today ... I'm good. I know what I have to do and I'm going to do it. Enough is enough. What I experienced yesterday helped me release the fear and worry built up inside. It was a breaking point. You have to have those ever so often to help you move on from all the mess. "Without Struggle, There's No Progress."
I can't expect anyone else to understand my situation. I just can't. Everybody has their own situations going on. But what I can tell you is that this whole process had pointed out some things about myself. Some things I've done and I've gained a better perspective. "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." or better yet, "What goes around, comes around."
I've made some people feel uncomfortable, I've hurt feelings and been dishonest. Don't judge me. LOL.
These experiences have helped shaped me. It's showed me how strong I am and through it all, I persevere. I persevere.
Until Next Time ... Be the person you would like others to be to you.
So in addition to the emptiness I feel about my grandmother and a couple other personal issues, I'm just tired, mentally and physically. The whole back and forth thing, from MD to NY, lugging bags and the ultimate ... asking friends can I crash with them. While I can't expect them to understand every time I need a place to stay, it still feels like a burden to not only stay with them, but to just ask. I've been lied to and given elaborate stories even. LOL. As I write this I can't help but laugh. People are funny.
So with a mix of emotions that started on Thursday night. I got my crying, screaming, kicking and yelling on. I threw myself a big pity party. I strolled in with violins playing, grabbed my box of tissues and got my party on. Today ... I'm good. I know what I have to do and I'm going to do it. Enough is enough. What I experienced yesterday helped me release the fear and worry built up inside. It was a breaking point. You have to have those ever so often to help you move on from all the mess. "Without Struggle, There's No Progress."
I can't expect anyone else to understand my situation. I just can't. Everybody has their own situations going on. But what I can tell you is that this whole process had pointed out some things about myself. Some things I've done and I've gained a better perspective. "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." or better yet, "What goes around, comes around."
I've made some people feel uncomfortable, I've hurt feelings and been dishonest. Don't judge me. LOL.
These experiences have helped shaped me. It's showed me how strong I am and through it all, I persevere. I persevere.
Until Next Time ... Be the person you would like others to be to you.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
There's No Place Like Home
As I sit and watch one of my favorite movies, "The Wiz", I'm reminded of how many days I have until I hit the road back to Maryland. TWO! With window AC's, mice, and hot subways, I realize how spoiled central air, a car and no rodents can make you.
Tuesday morning, I went to grab the iron board and a little mouse was chillin behind it. Scared the living heck out me. Last year I stayed at a friends house while she was out of town. The first night there I was sitting on her bed watching television while I was talking to a friend on the phone. I saw something run across the floor. I was like I know that ain't what I think it is. Then I saw that little sucker come out and dash across the floor into a closet. I got off the phone, packed my bags and rolled! I couldn't fathom staying in there with that thing. Suppose I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and it runs across my foot, or climbs up the bed and crawls across my mouth or something. No sir-ree. I was out of there.
This time it was different. Although I was hesitant to come back to the apartment, I decided to suck it up and face little Mickey. After coming to terms with the situation and arriving back to the building, I walk up to the 3rd floor, where my aunts apartment is and I see another little mouse run into her neighbors apartment. OMG! Thanks! Now I'm back to being a nervous wreck. I come in the apartment slow, turn on all the lights and look around. I don't really want to go looking because you know when you do, you always find. I'm just saying to myself, please stay in your little hole, where ever you've been chillin', and give me some piece of mind.
I called my aunt earlier that day to let her know I'd saw the mouse. I've been coming here for 3 and half years now, and have never seen a mouse. So I wanted to let her know in case she needed to call the Super. She explained to me that the people moved out of the apartment across the hall, so they've been doing work in there so whatever is up in there is scattering every where else. Don't get me wrong, I'm aware that mice and rats reside in NYC, but I'm used to seeing them in a subway station. And that's where they need to stay. I later found that there is something like 12 rats to one person in NYC. That's enough for me to think about looking into another profession. But let me let you know right now, had there been a rat up in here, I would have been out of here too!
Day 2, and I'm still a little uneasy, but hey I'm dealing with it. I'm going to stay at one of my girlfriends house tomorrow night so I'm sure my nerves will ease significantly. LOL. I'm in the living room and I keep looking out into the other sitting area as if something is going to run across the floor any minute now. Is it Thursday yet?
Don't get me wrong. I am so thankful that I am able to have a few options to lay my head when I'm in town and a little mouse should be the least of my concerns. I'm a work in progress. Yall just keep me in prayer. Last night, I took a deep breath, said a prayer and slept like a baby. When I woke up, that mouse was on my mind, but I did what I had to do and kept it moving.
Tomorrow I'll be hanging out with my girlfriend who turns 30 on Sunday. She's having a little celebration get together here in NYC and in DC on Sunday. We'll be celebrating a new era of her life and in addition, I'll be celebrating my voyage back HOME!!!! Count down!
DON'T WAIT UNTIL NEXT TIME ... COME GET THIS MOUSE OUTTA HEA! : (
Tuesday morning, I went to grab the iron board and a little mouse was chillin behind it. Scared the living heck out me. Last year I stayed at a friends house while she was out of town. The first night there I was sitting on her bed watching television while I was talking to a friend on the phone. I saw something run across the floor. I was like I know that ain't what I think it is. Then I saw that little sucker come out and dash across the floor into a closet. I got off the phone, packed my bags and rolled! I couldn't fathom staying in there with that thing. Suppose I wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and it runs across my foot, or climbs up the bed and crawls across my mouth or something. No sir-ree. I was out of there.
This time it was different. Although I was hesitant to come back to the apartment, I decided to suck it up and face little Mickey. After coming to terms with the situation and arriving back to the building, I walk up to the 3rd floor, where my aunts apartment is and I see another little mouse run into her neighbors apartment. OMG! Thanks! Now I'm back to being a nervous wreck. I come in the apartment slow, turn on all the lights and look around. I don't really want to go looking because you know when you do, you always find. I'm just saying to myself, please stay in your little hole, where ever you've been chillin', and give me some piece of mind.
I called my aunt earlier that day to let her know I'd saw the mouse. I've been coming here for 3 and half years now, and have never seen a mouse. So I wanted to let her know in case she needed to call the Super. She explained to me that the people moved out of the apartment across the hall, so they've been doing work in there so whatever is up in there is scattering every where else. Don't get me wrong, I'm aware that mice and rats reside in NYC, but I'm used to seeing them in a subway station. And that's where they need to stay. I later found that there is something like 12 rats to one person in NYC. That's enough for me to think about looking into another profession. But let me let you know right now, had there been a rat up in here, I would have been out of here too!
Day 2, and I'm still a little uneasy, but hey I'm dealing with it. I'm going to stay at one of my girlfriends house tomorrow night so I'm sure my nerves will ease significantly. LOL. I'm in the living room and I keep looking out into the other sitting area as if something is going to run across the floor any minute now. Is it Thursday yet?
Don't get me wrong. I am so thankful that I am able to have a few options to lay my head when I'm in town and a little mouse should be the least of my concerns. I'm a work in progress. Yall just keep me in prayer. Last night, I took a deep breath, said a prayer and slept like a baby. When I woke up, that mouse was on my mind, but I did what I had to do and kept it moving.
Tomorrow I'll be hanging out with my girlfriend who turns 30 on Sunday. She's having a little celebration get together here in NYC and in DC on Sunday. We'll be celebrating a new era of her life and in addition, I'll be celebrating my voyage back HOME!!!! Count down!
DON'T WAIT UNTIL NEXT TIME ... COME GET THIS MOUSE OUTTA HEA! : (
Monday, July 19, 2010
Busy Away From Home
I wake up early Sunday morning. Wash, get dressed, grab my bag and head to the 2. There was a train in the station when I got there. When the train pulls out, I take a drink of my water. An older man asks if he can have a sip. Little did I know me entertaining his question would leave to a whole praise and worship service all the way to the 6 train at Fulton Street where I have to transfer.
I entertain him for about a minute, he's going on and on, I reach in my bag and grab my headphones, stick them in and turn on my gospel mix. He proceeds with his sermon, but I tune him out. At least I try. He projects louder and louder. Come on Fulton Street.
My call time for my Target shoot was 830am. It was in Spanish Harlem. East 117th street to be exact. I had to take two trains and journey an hour and half to get there. I actually got there in an hour so I was super early to the store. Better early than late right. The store is not open so I have to call my contact person to have them meet me at the employees entrance to take me back to the holding location. I didn't realize til it was my turn to shoot, that the store is brand new. Not only is it not open due to store hours its not open period. It doesn't open until Wednesday.
The store is huge. It has the grocery section too. I would definitely have a good time in that store. If I'm in any state and I see a Target, I'm going in just because. I just love that store. So I have husband for the shoot. Dante. He's a cool dude. Tall and thin with a mocha complexion. We have good chemistry on the set which the client loves. I also parlay a few questions about how to get the TV and print ads for Target. I mean of course I know...you have to go to a casting and book it...but yall know I gotta take opportunities when they present themselves.
What we were shooting was some internal stuff for corporate. But our pictures were too cute. They've gotta just look at these and wonder why in the world they haven't booked us for some big campaign, right? Let's hope. ; )
The shoot takes 3 hours and I'm out, on my way back to Brooklyn on my little field trip. It's hot as beans outside. I have to walk at least 4 or 5 blocks to the train. I bear the heat and the passes a few men throw at me. I'm like really? This one guy was like "you're so beautiful, oooh and you sweat so good." Really? I wasn't even sweating though. Would someone really feed into that? Just nasty.
I make it back to BK, stop by Starbucks to grab me a marble cake and to Quiznos for the two for 5.99. I get the chipotle turkey sammie with a Cobb salad. Goodness, I tell you. I can't wait to get back to the house to tear it up because I'm hungry as heck plus I'm so exhausted. I eat but don't really wanna take a nap because I have another shoot to get up early for. I want to be dead tired to make sure I can get my butt to sleep. Alot of times its hard for me to get a good night's sleep before an early morning shoot. Anxiety? Anxiousness? I have no idea. But I wind up falling asleep for about an hour anyway. I just couldn't hold on.
Today I have to get up even earlier to catch the talent van in midtown by 615am. The shoot was in Rockland County, NY., about 45 minutes away from the city. We come to this huge property with a big white house on it, a shed that looks like a small house, and then another type of building in back of the shed. We head straight to craft services where I initially order a Turkey bacon and egg whites on wheat toast. But after seeing the pancakes my new husband is munching on, I decide to go back and get one.
The shoot was for a brand video for Tylenol. I had a new hubby and 2 children. A boy and a girl. I've been busy huh? It was a pretty big production to be just a video. But it's likely it will be picked up as a national commercial. We are all crossing our fingers.
Although we get there really early, the actual shoot part wasn't that long. After lunch we are wrapped so we leave the location about 130p. No shoot tomorrow, so I can sleep in later. I have set up a meeting and am working on some other things to maximize my time here. It's all about the maximizing of the time when I don't have any castings or bookings lined up. I'm hoping that's short lived. ; )
In writing this, I'm realizing I need to get to somebody's gym. I haven't worked out in a week. And I've not been eating the best. So in the mean time and in between time, I'll need to schedule some gym time. I've been staying in NY for 8 days now, and and I can't wait til Friday gets here so I can get home to see my family. Just kind of get back to some sense of normalcy. I mean me travelling is normal but I'm usually back home on the weekends. And I miss home. :(
I'm hopeful that this week will pick up. I may invest in a class if there's one that peaks my interest, but I'm going to do my best to stayed occupied. The heat is killing my roots. So may have to stop in to see Gillian down the street for a press and curl. LOL.
I'm tired. I'm gonna read a little and turn it in. I've had the house to myself for as long as I've been here. I've enjoyed it. My aunt will be back tomorrow. YAWWWN! That's my que. I'm out.
Until Next Time...Go Get in some time with Family cause ya never know how long you might have to be gone. ; )
I entertain him for about a minute, he's going on and on, I reach in my bag and grab my headphones, stick them in and turn on my gospel mix. He proceeds with his sermon, but I tune him out. At least I try. He projects louder and louder. Come on Fulton Street.
My call time for my Target shoot was 830am. It was in Spanish Harlem. East 117th street to be exact. I had to take two trains and journey an hour and half to get there. I actually got there in an hour so I was super early to the store. Better early than late right. The store is not open so I have to call my contact person to have them meet me at the employees entrance to take me back to the holding location. I didn't realize til it was my turn to shoot, that the store is brand new. Not only is it not open due to store hours its not open period. It doesn't open until Wednesday.
The store is huge. It has the grocery section too. I would definitely have a good time in that store. If I'm in any state and I see a Target, I'm going in just because. I just love that store. So I have husband for the shoot. Dante. He's a cool dude. Tall and thin with a mocha complexion. We have good chemistry on the set which the client loves. I also parlay a few questions about how to get the TV and print ads for Target. I mean of course I know...you have to go to a casting and book it...but yall know I gotta take opportunities when they present themselves.
What we were shooting was some internal stuff for corporate. But our pictures were too cute. They've gotta just look at these and wonder why in the world they haven't booked us for some big campaign, right? Let's hope. ; )
The shoot takes 3 hours and I'm out, on my way back to Brooklyn on my little field trip. It's hot as beans outside. I have to walk at least 4 or 5 blocks to the train. I bear the heat and the passes a few men throw at me. I'm like really? This one guy was like "you're so beautiful, oooh and you sweat so good." Really? I wasn't even sweating though. Would someone really feed into that? Just nasty.
I make it back to BK, stop by Starbucks to grab me a marble cake and to Quiznos for the two for 5.99. I get the chipotle turkey sammie with a Cobb salad. Goodness, I tell you. I can't wait to get back to the house to tear it up because I'm hungry as heck plus I'm so exhausted. I eat but don't really wanna take a nap because I have another shoot to get up early for. I want to be dead tired to make sure I can get my butt to sleep. Alot of times its hard for me to get a good night's sleep before an early morning shoot. Anxiety? Anxiousness? I have no idea. But I wind up falling asleep for about an hour anyway. I just couldn't hold on.
Today I have to get up even earlier to catch the talent van in midtown by 615am. The shoot was in Rockland County, NY., about 45 minutes away from the city. We come to this huge property with a big white house on it, a shed that looks like a small house, and then another type of building in back of the shed. We head straight to craft services where I initially order a Turkey bacon and egg whites on wheat toast. But after seeing the pancakes my new husband is munching on, I decide to go back and get one.
The shoot was for a brand video for Tylenol. I had a new hubby and 2 children. A boy and a girl. I've been busy huh? It was a pretty big production to be just a video. But it's likely it will be picked up as a national commercial. We are all crossing our fingers.
Although we get there really early, the actual shoot part wasn't that long. After lunch we are wrapped so we leave the location about 130p. No shoot tomorrow, so I can sleep in later. I have set up a meeting and am working on some other things to maximize my time here. It's all about the maximizing of the time when I don't have any castings or bookings lined up. I'm hoping that's short lived. ; )
In writing this, I'm realizing I need to get to somebody's gym. I haven't worked out in a week. And I've not been eating the best. So in the mean time and in between time, I'll need to schedule some gym time. I've been staying in NY for 8 days now, and and I can't wait til Friday gets here so I can get home to see my family. Just kind of get back to some sense of normalcy. I mean me travelling is normal but I'm usually back home on the weekends. And I miss home. :(
I'm hopeful that this week will pick up. I may invest in a class if there's one that peaks my interest, but I'm going to do my best to stayed occupied. The heat is killing my roots. So may have to stop in to see Gillian down the street for a press and curl. LOL.
I'm tired. I'm gonna read a little and turn it in. I've had the house to myself for as long as I've been here. I've enjoyed it. My aunt will be back tomorrow. YAWWWN! That's my que. I'm out.
Until Next Time...Go Get in some time with Family cause ya never know how long you might have to be gone. ; )
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Embracing Opportunities
As much as I tried to keep my mental on track and focused, my flesh kept getting the best of me. My thinking cap was on snooze and my flesh was on it's own on time. I was late to every audition from Tuesday to today (Thursday). Even though it didn't much matter because they were all running behind schedule, I still like to be on time. Sometimes you have a time range and sometimes you have an actual appointment time. And for some reason this week, it was all about having an appointment.
Every morning I called myself being proactive with my business by doing productive things on the computer but the mornings would go a little something like this...email, text message, bbm, facebook, tv back to email and so on and so forth. I guess you can say I was multi-tasking. I learned in a business class last week, that multi-tasking is a lie. And whoever realized it first, ain't ever lied.
Maybe Tuesday's rain dance threw my equilibrium off because I just couldn't seem to focus on one particular goal at a time. On the train on my way to my only audition today I realized I was really gonna have to dig down deep, do some praying, self-reflecting and meditation to be able to hone in on some self-control.
I have been doing good about accomplishing the goals I've set, in the time-frame I've wanted to accomplish them, but they may not be at their fullest potential. I would love a do-over, take back some of the things I've done and said, managed my time a little better and been more focused. But of course, I can't do-over whats already been done. I can only pick up the pieces, deal with the rest of what the week will hand over and pray for a better turn out moving forward.
Wednesday after attending a callback for Tylenol that I found out I booked... YAY! I met up with a few friends at a charity event. It was at the Charles Nolan store in Chelsea. Really cute boutique that had a little bit of everything. Clothes, jewelry, shoes, handbags, vintage pieces, picture frames and a station set up with paints, brushes, stencils and glitter. Odd huh?
The event was being held to raise money for a children's organization called GOAL (Giving Open Access to Learning). The arts and crafts station had been set up earlier for a few kids to make some bags and masks to display in the store. Obviously, the organizers thought it would be a good idea to leave this station accessible to guests who were wanting to explore their creative side or bring bag childhood memories. *giggle* My friends and I grabbed a glass of wine and quickly took a place at the table.
Me and my friend BJ decided to do bags and Nia a wooden box she could put little trinkets in. BJ's bag turned out to be a tribute to her mom Tia that passed away from cancer and mine to my love of shoes and model persona. It was the best fun! I've done some coloring in the last few years but I haven't painted since grade school when we dipped our hands in paint and plastered them on a big white sheet of paper. LOL. I think everybody took that same masterpiece home to their parents.
It really brought out a side of me I hadn't embraced in a long time. I mean I act silly and childish with my nieces and nephews but its for their entertainment. But to be doing an activity like that outside of the children and for my own pleasure was fun and felt really normal. It definitely overshadowed the craziness from day before.
I did manage to do a little networking. Turning an interaction to an opportunity. Just what they taught in the class I took tonight. It opened up an opportunity for me to connect to others and bring in potential clients to my "other" business which is consulting. The class really helped bring out my lack of motivation to get this business rolling. The opportunities are there, I just need to take them. Being prepared is everything and a business card will go a long way. So glad I had plenty available to pass out. Vistaprint.com people!
I'm almost there. I just have to be consistent and constant. Stay on track and surround myself with opportunities even if that means painting my name on a bag. Who knows, the connection I made there may lead to my name on something else. We'll see.
I feel good!
Until Next Time ... Go Get Focused, Create Opportunities and Make it Happen!
Every morning I called myself being proactive with my business by doing productive things on the computer but the mornings would go a little something like this...email, text message, bbm, facebook, tv back to email and so on and so forth. I guess you can say I was multi-tasking. I learned in a business class last week, that multi-tasking is a lie. And whoever realized it first, ain't ever lied.
Maybe Tuesday's rain dance threw my equilibrium off because I just couldn't seem to focus on one particular goal at a time. On the train on my way to my only audition today I realized I was really gonna have to dig down deep, do some praying, self-reflecting and meditation to be able to hone in on some self-control.
I have been doing good about accomplishing the goals I've set, in the time-frame I've wanted to accomplish them, but they may not be at their fullest potential. I would love a do-over, take back some of the things I've done and said, managed my time a little better and been more focused. But of course, I can't do-over whats already been done. I can only pick up the pieces, deal with the rest of what the week will hand over and pray for a better turn out moving forward.
Wednesday after attending a callback for Tylenol that I found out I booked... YAY! I met up with a few friends at a charity event. It was at the Charles Nolan store in Chelsea. Really cute boutique that had a little bit of everything. Clothes, jewelry, shoes, handbags, vintage pieces, picture frames and a station set up with paints, brushes, stencils and glitter. Odd huh?
The event was being held to raise money for a children's organization called GOAL (Giving Open Access to Learning). The arts and crafts station had been set up earlier for a few kids to make some bags and masks to display in the store. Obviously, the organizers thought it would be a good idea to leave this station accessible to guests who were wanting to explore their creative side or bring bag childhood memories. *giggle* My friends and I grabbed a glass of wine and quickly took a place at the table.
Me and my friend BJ decided to do bags and Nia a wooden box she could put little trinkets in. BJ's bag turned out to be a tribute to her mom Tia that passed away from cancer and mine to my love of shoes and model persona. It was the best fun! I've done some coloring in the last few years but I haven't painted since grade school when we dipped our hands in paint and plastered them on a big white sheet of paper. LOL. I think everybody took that same masterpiece home to their parents.
It really brought out a side of me I hadn't embraced in a long time. I mean I act silly and childish with my nieces and nephews but its for their entertainment. But to be doing an activity like that outside of the children and for my own pleasure was fun and felt really normal. It definitely overshadowed the craziness from day before.
I did manage to do a little networking. Turning an interaction to an opportunity. Just what they taught in the class I took tonight. It opened up an opportunity for me to connect to others and bring in potential clients to my "other" business which is consulting. The class really helped bring out my lack of motivation to get this business rolling. The opportunities are there, I just need to take them. Being prepared is everything and a business card will go a long way. So glad I had plenty available to pass out. Vistaprint.com people!
I'm almost there. I just have to be consistent and constant. Stay on track and surround myself with opportunities even if that means painting my name on a bag. Who knows, the connection I made there may lead to my name on something else. We'll see.
I feel good!
Until Next Time ... Go Get Focused, Create Opportunities and Make it Happen!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Rain Dance
The rain never let up before I had to jet to the next audition. I put my jacket over my head and ran across the street to buy a $6 umbrella. I have some brown rubber Old Navy flip flops on which are better than having a good pair of shoes ruined in the rain. My feet get wet, but I also, avoid the likelihood of busting my butt on the ground.
I don't have my big suitcase, but I opted to bring a small rolly bag. It's made like a duffel bag but has wheels on it. I had 4, yes one came in last minute, auditions/castings today. So I needed to bring several clothing options to represent the products I was auditioning for. It would be impossible, dumb even to try to go back to Brooklyn to change clothes, so I had to bring everything I needed. In addition to my laptop and all I would usually carry in my purse, this bag was a one in all today. But the darn bag kept rolling off the wheels. That bag wore me out! It's not a suitcase, its a duffel bag on wheels. I don't think that concept really works though. :/
From the Starbucks I had to walk about a block and half to the R train. My bag got soaked. When I get inside the station I check the inside to make sure things are dry, and they are. Two stops down and I'm at my stop. Before I even get to the top of the stairs, I see its still pouring. I had to walk about 4 or 5 blocks to my casting. Great! The rain is coming down, my feet and legs are getting wet and my poor bag is getting soaked.
I have to stop and check my contents again to see if they are getting wet and they are. I have a dress wrapped in a plastic bag you get from the dry cleaners and decide to use it to wrap the duffel bag in. It was just the right size to cover the entire bag. I poke holes at the wheels and keep it moving. Finally, I make it there and get on the elevator. A tall blonde girl with an accent asks what floor the casting office is on. For some reason, she thinks its on the 3rd floor, but I assure here its on 10. She looks a little perplexed. She asks me if I'm a dancer. Nooo but if I had started early, I probably would have been one. Seriously. I tell her I'm a model and actress. For some reason actress stands out to her. "Ooooh you're an actress." Like I couldn't possibly be going on the same casting she's going on. Quickly and loud, I say "AND MODEL." Don't get it twisted missy because I'm not 8'12 like you. Hmmmh!
I get to 10 and decide to change into my bathing suit top in the hall and then finish up in the bathroom which is located inside the casting office. I like to be as prepared as possible before going in. You never know whats going on on the other side of that door.
I walk in, sign in and head straight to the restroom. There are about 5 girls already there waiting. We wind up waiting quite a while before we're seen. I strike up small talk with one young lady about the rain and her shoes being drenched. There are some really pretty girls there. More fashion type models. Sometimes when I get called to certain castings and there are more of that type there, I wonder why my agency even sent me. But I deserve to be there darn it! And my agency would not send me if they didn't think I had a good chance.
At this casting is when I get the call about another one lined up for me today. I decide to head there next as its on the East side and I'm already on that side of town. By this time, its evident that I'm going to miss my 2:40 appointment for the audition that was initially going to be my 3rd and final for the day. I send an email updating my agency and they tell me to just get there as soon as I can. I have until 430p.
The rain has let up by the time I leave. But as soon as I get to the corner, a light drizzle starts. I make it to the train station before it decides it wants to pour down again. Another 2 stops down, and I arrive at my stop. About 6 or 7 blocks in, the rain pouring again, the stupid bag flip flopping all over the place, my feet and legs, wet and dirty, sweating, and lord knows what my hair looks like, I arrive! The audition is in a small gallery. So I clean myself up a bit outside and change into some cute little heels. I go inside and wait my turn. Again, fashion models. I may not have the height, but I must certainly have the look. And that's obviously good enough.
On to the next. Back on the beaten path to the train and to my last audition for the day. At one point, I'm so exhausted and worn out, I have to (singing) "say a little prayer for meeeeee." I get a little turned around going back and wind up breaking the $8 necklace I bought yesterday. Are you frikin kidding me? Deep breath! I break one of the strands of beads and they are falling everywhere. I take the necklace off and throw it in my bag. I suck it up, realize I probably shouldn't have bought it in the first place and finish making my way to the train.
3 stops up and I'm headed to the my last adventure for the day. I sign in and again, I head straight to the bathroom. My shorts are wet and my cute little shirt has managed to grow two small holes in it so I decide to change into a little blue dress and a tan jacket. Plus, I wanted to look more put together.
I went into the audition about 20 minutes later, knocked it out, changed back into my shorts and flip flops and headed to the 2 train back to Brooklyn. By this time I was in the mood for a drink but I couldn't wait to get back to the house to just relax. On my way to the train, I get a call that I booked a casting I went on last week for Target. It's not the Target deal I want, but I gotta start somewhere. It's for some internal stuff. So my plan is to stand out at this shoot. It could lead to some major advertisement. And that's exactly what I'm gonna get.
I shared my experience today with a friend who's very successful in his modeling career. I told him about the Target deal and this is what he told me. He said "you put little thought into Target and you got a small token of what you put in." Say whaaaaat? I love it! As he put it, "you have to visualize your sh**!" I do have a vision board but the vision certainly can't stay there. Thanks Super Dre!
Until next time ... Don't just GO GET IT ... Visualize yo' sh**! ; )
I don't have my big suitcase, but I opted to bring a small rolly bag. It's made like a duffel bag but has wheels on it. I had 4, yes one came in last minute, auditions/castings today. So I needed to bring several clothing options to represent the products I was auditioning for. It would be impossible, dumb even to try to go back to Brooklyn to change clothes, so I had to bring everything I needed. In addition to my laptop and all I would usually carry in my purse, this bag was a one in all today. But the darn bag kept rolling off the wheels. That bag wore me out! It's not a suitcase, its a duffel bag on wheels. I don't think that concept really works though. :/
From the Starbucks I had to walk about a block and half to the R train. My bag got soaked. When I get inside the station I check the inside to make sure things are dry, and they are. Two stops down and I'm at my stop. Before I even get to the top of the stairs, I see its still pouring. I had to walk about 4 or 5 blocks to my casting. Great! The rain is coming down, my feet and legs are getting wet and my poor bag is getting soaked.
I have to stop and check my contents again to see if they are getting wet and they are. I have a dress wrapped in a plastic bag you get from the dry cleaners and decide to use it to wrap the duffel bag in. It was just the right size to cover the entire bag. I poke holes at the wheels and keep it moving. Finally, I make it there and get on the elevator. A tall blonde girl with an accent asks what floor the casting office is on. For some reason, she thinks its on the 3rd floor, but I assure here its on 10. She looks a little perplexed. She asks me if I'm a dancer. Nooo but if I had started early, I probably would have been one. Seriously. I tell her I'm a model and actress. For some reason actress stands out to her. "Ooooh you're an actress." Like I couldn't possibly be going on the same casting she's going on. Quickly and loud, I say "AND MODEL." Don't get it twisted missy because I'm not 8'12 like you. Hmmmh!
I get to 10 and decide to change into my bathing suit top in the hall and then finish up in the bathroom which is located inside the casting office. I like to be as prepared as possible before going in. You never know whats going on on the other side of that door.
I walk in, sign in and head straight to the restroom. There are about 5 girls already there waiting. We wind up waiting quite a while before we're seen. I strike up small talk with one young lady about the rain and her shoes being drenched. There are some really pretty girls there. More fashion type models. Sometimes when I get called to certain castings and there are more of that type there, I wonder why my agency even sent me. But I deserve to be there darn it! And my agency would not send me if they didn't think I had a good chance.
At this casting is when I get the call about another one lined up for me today. I decide to head there next as its on the East side and I'm already on that side of town. By this time, its evident that I'm going to miss my 2:40 appointment for the audition that was initially going to be my 3rd and final for the day. I send an email updating my agency and they tell me to just get there as soon as I can. I have until 430p.
The rain has let up by the time I leave. But as soon as I get to the corner, a light drizzle starts. I make it to the train station before it decides it wants to pour down again. Another 2 stops down, and I arrive at my stop. About 6 or 7 blocks in, the rain pouring again, the stupid bag flip flopping all over the place, my feet and legs, wet and dirty, sweating, and lord knows what my hair looks like, I arrive! The audition is in a small gallery. So I clean myself up a bit outside and change into some cute little heels. I go inside and wait my turn. Again, fashion models. I may not have the height, but I must certainly have the look. And that's obviously good enough.
On to the next. Back on the beaten path to the train and to my last audition for the day. At one point, I'm so exhausted and worn out, I have to (singing) "say a little prayer for meeeeee." I get a little turned around going back and wind up breaking the $8 necklace I bought yesterday. Are you frikin kidding me? Deep breath! I break one of the strands of beads and they are falling everywhere. I take the necklace off and throw it in my bag. I suck it up, realize I probably shouldn't have bought it in the first place and finish making my way to the train.
3 stops up and I'm headed to the my last adventure for the day. I sign in and again, I head straight to the bathroom. My shorts are wet and my cute little shirt has managed to grow two small holes in it so I decide to change into a little blue dress and a tan jacket. Plus, I wanted to look more put together.
I went into the audition about 20 minutes later, knocked it out, changed back into my shorts and flip flops and headed to the 2 train back to Brooklyn. By this time I was in the mood for a drink but I couldn't wait to get back to the house to just relax. On my way to the train, I get a call that I booked a casting I went on last week for Target. It's not the Target deal I want, but I gotta start somewhere. It's for some internal stuff. So my plan is to stand out at this shoot. It could lead to some major advertisement. And that's exactly what I'm gonna get.
I shared my experience today with a friend who's very successful in his modeling career. I told him about the Target deal and this is what he told me. He said "you put little thought into Target and you got a small token of what you put in." Say whaaaaat? I love it! As he put it, "you have to visualize your sh**!" I do have a vision board but the vision certainly can't stay there. Thanks Super Dre!
Until next time ... Don't just GO GET IT ... Visualize yo' sh**! ; )
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