Its been a while folks but it hasn't been because I've forgotten about the blog. Usually, I blog when something inspires me to. I really want the content of my blog to be helpful to not only myself, but others. Sometimes you have to watch what and how you say things as you don't want to send the wrong message. This blog is bigger than a place for me to vent my frustrations but also a way for me to fellowship with any one. Most of us have the same or similar issues, but in all, we all have things going on in our lives than can cause an abundance of happiness or pain.
As most of you who have subscribed or follow, you know that its very spiritual. I can't deny the fact that GOD is present in my Life and it is because of HIM that I have been able to sustain in every aspect of my life without losing control or taking it to the streets. LOL.
As I have started to stretch my career into other interests i.e. Hosting, it has seemed to be a bit of a challenge. But hey, I'm used to challenges, and I'm certainly used to jumping over, stepping on and kicking them to infinity and beyond. But they never stop and well, I never stop pushing through.
I've been on a few interviews that I've got on my own through some people I know who are affiliated with some entertainment organizations or through craigslist. Nothing has come through yet, but still I rise. Yesterday, really through me for a loop. I expressed interest to a company who seemed on the up and up through craigslist. The first weekend that they wanted to schedule an interview, I was due out of town, the next weekend we had to rescheduled because of the holiday weekend and this weekend was a question mark until 11:32 pm the night before.
I reached out to the young lady I'd been communicating with for the last few weeks on Friday morning to confirm the appointment for this weekend and never got a response. Then I followed up around 5p and still no response. So I decided to take care of some last minute business that came up which was gonna keep me up pretty late, since I hadn't heard from her. I figured it was a no go. But then I get the confirm. So cool. I'm a little blown because of how late I get the email but excited nonetheless because its seems like a cool company to get some more experience under my belt.
I get to bed around 2am knowing that I have to get up pretty early to make it to this appointment on time. Although my commute is only a 10-15 minute commute to the city, I have to schedule my departure in accordance with the bus schedule. So I get up bright and early, get myself together, eat a light breakfast and get into the city a little before 10 am. I wind up making a few stops in stores to kill some time and then head over to the appointment by 10:15p.
I get to the building and try the revolving door...LOCKED. The set of the regular doors to the right. LOCKED. I even rang the night time bell and no one showed up. But I could have sworn I tried all the doors but apparently, I didn't because after waiting til about 10:40am a young lady tries the revolving doors...still locked and then the regular doors to the left and walks right in. OK I am dumbfounded at this point. But I'm thinking maybe they just unlocked them or something. I was sitting right in front of the building the whole time. No person came to unlock the door so maybe its something they do electronically. I don't know. Moving on.
I walk in and low and behold there is a guard sitting at the desk. I didn't even know there was a desk right there. Because of where the desk is located you cannot see it from the doorway. So when I see this girl sitting at the desk I am BLOWN. So as you can see this morning is not going smoothly for me. I'm like "you were sitting here this entire time? Did you not hear the bell I was ringing?" ring-a-ling-a-ling...ring-a-ling-ling! What in the world. Did you not see my shadow or me trying the doors? Were ya sleep? I just sign in and head to the (holding up 4 ringers) 5th floor.
The young lady that walked in ahead of me didn't sign in but I figured she was also being interviewed. When I got to the floor, she was there. I spoke and I got a half-ass hi. But that's cool. I'm here to take care of business. So we are both standing in front of the glass doors that lead to the company's office. However, they are locked and it is pitched dark in there. I'm still thinking she's here for the interview as well. Mind you, I have tried to email and call the young lady who set this appointment up in the first place. No response. My *blowupuation is increasing...
So finally a man comes out to open the doors for us. He turns on the lights, the young lady proceeds to one of the offices, and I have a seat in the waiting area. I ask him a few questions, because at this point, I don't know if he works for the company or what. He knows nothing but has informed me that he works in one of the offices. Apparently, there are different offices/companies in this office. The way its set up I would have never thought this was not one company. But nonetheless, that helped me a little, and I decided to proceed to find the office I need and the young lady is sitting in there.
Its a super small office for a company but hey some people work from home or a coffee shop. As long you're handling your business right? So I walk in, about to take a seat and the young lady says, "do you work here?" I'm like "no." I ask if she is here for the interview, and with alot of attitude she's like "no I work here, I'm one of the writers." Huh? So you asking me if I work here? What? I proceed to tell her I'm there for an interview with such and such ... who obviously is not there.
She gets up and says, "can you sit out there" pointing out to the lobby. Damn near shoving me out the door with her body. But of course I can but where is the chick that is suppose to be interviewing me at 1030 am. This is the office, you work here and I'm about 20 seconds off the blowuputation. I'm like "she does work here right?" She confirms and I take it back to the waiting area. First thing I'm thinking, craigslist? really? But I know some friends that have gotten some cool gigs off there so in my pursuit to push my career along, I'm looking into all things.
After about 5 more minutes, she comes out to inform me that 1/ she was not aware of the interview, 2/the young lady who set up the interview is really sick and will not be coming, A SAY WHAT? and get this 3/She states that she is the PR Director. But didn't you just say you were one of the writers. Are you both? Which one is it? Where am I? Is this a dream? So although a sigh of disgust presents itself, I hold it together and let her finish. So now, Ms. "Attitude", Ms. "Blown Cause She Ain't Know About My Interview and Has to Conduct It Herself", is going to see if the conference room is available so that we can proceed with wasting my damn time.
Finally, the interview has started and right off the bat this girl is coming at me with attitude. Like she is mad that I had the nerve to walk up in here for this interview that was scheduled by her colleague. And me no likey. I wanna just bust out and say "Who are you talking to like that?" So my spirit is shook and needless to say, this interview is not going well. She is talking to me like I'm not serious about where I want to take this position if I get it, I'm too conservative, they need someone with personality, and blah blah blah. Did I mention this is not a paid position? But I'm OK with that ... right now. At this moment, I really should have called on the Lord. But I allowed her to take me to a place that basically warped any personality, talent or excitement I had in me. Not to mention, I didn't have a alot of sleep the night before and just the entire process of it all, wore me out!
Like it is Saturday, I live in Jersey and I need to take care of some really important matters in my life right now and God presented this opportunity, woke me up this morning, guided me safely in the city to make this interview and you talking to me like I just wanna do this for fun! Like I'm some random broad off the street. Did I mention I got bills ... hole up hole up... a degree in BROADCAST JOURNALISM, been in national commercials, on national advertisements, billboards, publications ... been busting my butt to make it happen and again its Saturday and I got up at 7am to deal with incompentancy, disrepect and disregard for my time and effort!!!! Man get outta hea!
She took me in yall. She transferred her negative energy and it knocked the wind out of me. Blowupuation at its finest but I held it in, smiled, thanked her for her time and went on my merry way. Then she had the nerve to say she liked my hair. SMH.
I couldn't help to think though that my attitude earlier was the start of this downward spiral though. On my way to the interview, a homeless woman asked me could I spare some change. I didn't have any to spare, but I didn't tell her in the nicest way. I do live in a city where the begging is overwhelming and where a lot of trickery and con goes on, but I didn't have to damn near roll my eyes in disgust when I told her I didn't have it.
I asked GOD to forgive me on my walk along the way but sometimes there is a lesson to be learned in everything you think, say and do. I'm sure the young lady that interviewed me had some karma in her day or maybe even today. Maybe she even thought about her actions and asked GOD to forgive her. But rest assured it always come right back around. We gotta learn the lesson even if we've realized soon after that we were wrong or what we did was so unnecessary.
You know, regardless of how people got in their situations, good or bad, its not up to us to judge. But it is up to us to be kind regardless of what we may have going on in our own lives. Give people the benefit of the doubt. But also be a blessing to others.
Until Next time ... Think before you Do. Make decisions that line up with the will of God. If not you will reap more mess, stress and drama.
*Blown- Done. To Through. Gone with the wind.
*Blowupuation - What happens when you're blown excessively.
*Blower-Person who causes this reaction.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
On the Surface
The last four weeks have been super slow, especially for my category. I've probably only been on four auditions within that time. Still a blessing but not the normal, every week, every day, two to four auditions a day I'm used to. I'm so thankful that I have not been in a worried state. No time for that. GOD is good and I can't complain. Sure I want to be auditioning and working constantly but sometimes GOD gives us time needed to perfect other areas of our life. I've been able to get back on my work out regimen, utilize more of my creative side and am just giving time to other things that need attention that can only contribute to my success in the business and more importantly, as a person.
During this time, I've also noticed how some of my counterparts are super busy doing the same. Putting their time and effort into things to enhance their career. Aside from that they may be doing other good works that don't even pertain to acting or modeling. I don't envy that, I want to do more work outside of my career goals. But busy doesn't always mean productive. In terms of what GOD's purpose is for you here on earth, I think its important that we focus on the message we are trying to get across when we are doing so much.
Trust, I certainly could be doing alot more toward standing out and making things happen in my life as well as the life of others. But I think it's important not to forget to work within so that your efforts aren't seen in a self-gratifying way. It may not appear immediately to others, but GOD knows your heart and eventually, the truth reveals itself. Sometimes we are working so hard to help others because that is what GOD wants us to do but its important that we don't forget to help ourselves.
So many times I've seen unhappy, judgemental people doing so much charity for others but have not took the time to raise awareness for themselves and make sure they are doing ok. Alot of times, they don't even realize it. And that's an issue. How can you truly know GOD and what he wants for your life if you don't even realize that you don't carry the spirit of GOD within you wholeheartedly.
I'm sure a lot of us have fell victim to it. I'm certainly no exclusion. To truly help someone is to help yourself. When you know better, you do better.
Remember, just because you are doing things in the NAME of the LORD doesn't mean you please HIM.
Until Next Time ... Give back to YOU so that what you give to others is in not in vain.
During this time, I've also noticed how some of my counterparts are super busy doing the same. Putting their time and effort into things to enhance their career. Aside from that they may be doing other good works that don't even pertain to acting or modeling. I don't envy that, I want to do more work outside of my career goals. But busy doesn't always mean productive. In terms of what GOD's purpose is for you here on earth, I think its important that we focus on the message we are trying to get across when we are doing so much.
Trust, I certainly could be doing alot more toward standing out and making things happen in my life as well as the life of others. But I think it's important not to forget to work within so that your efforts aren't seen in a self-gratifying way. It may not appear immediately to others, but GOD knows your heart and eventually, the truth reveals itself. Sometimes we are working so hard to help others because that is what GOD wants us to do but its important that we don't forget to help ourselves.
So many times I've seen unhappy, judgemental people doing so much charity for others but have not took the time to raise awareness for themselves and make sure they are doing ok. Alot of times, they don't even realize it. And that's an issue. How can you truly know GOD and what he wants for your life if you don't even realize that you don't carry the spirit of GOD within you wholeheartedly.
I'm sure a lot of us have fell victim to it. I'm certainly no exclusion. To truly help someone is to help yourself. When you know better, you do better.
Remember, just because you are doing things in the NAME of the LORD doesn't mean you please HIM.
Until Next Time ... Give back to YOU so that what you give to others is in not in vain.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
DIRECTOR:GOD/STARRING:ME
Yesterday, I attended a wonderful event at Trinity Broadcasting Network. A christian based network that delivers all kinds of inspirational programming. Tonight's show was hosted by Pastor Dewey Friedel. I knew that Hezekiah Walker would be performing but I had no idea that I would gain so much from this taping.
Each segment brought energy and a lot to think about. There was Bishop David Evans from Bethany Baptist Church, Tim Chey, an award winning director and Devon Franklin, producer of the Karate Kid and Jumping the Broom. A perfect night for me to attend with two industry professionals in the house. The most memorable of the show was Devon for me. A lot of what he touched on was so in tune with my journey and experiences. I really appreciated his testimony.
I haven't been to church in a good a little while. I've streamed it a few times in the last few months and although the message can still touch me, attending church gives you a chance to fellowship. More importantly, I have not been praying as much and putting aside quality time for GOD. Which could be why the last two weeks have been totally dead. GOD always has a way of bringing us closer or back to him. It can be subtle or a catastrophe ... either way HE knows how to get our attention.
A few years ago, I might have been totally going crazy about the lack of auditions and bookings I've had in the last two weeks. I mean its been NOTHING. But over the years my FAITH has grown into a house of bricks you can try to huff and puff and blow down and well, its not budging.
This down time has actually allowed me to be productive in a lot of other ways and has given me opportunities to be in places that may open up doors to help further my career. It's been amazing really. But more importantly, yesterday's show pointed out all to well, how when things are going good that we can lose site of why they are. While my FAITH isn't in jeopardy, my lack of commitment to time with GOD could jeopardize the rest of my life's journey.
I owe all praises to GOD for giving me everything. HE has produced the FAITH I have to continue through whatever ... the good, the bad, the crazy, the happy, the mess ... I am more than just a model or an actress, a sister, daughter or friend. I am a child of GOD that should be demonstrating everyday that HE is worth my time, my love and sacrifice. Doesn't HE do that for me?
HE DIRECTS every scene of my life. I should be in HIS word, speaking and living it so that my STAR continues to shine through EVERY season.
Until Next Time ... Continue to give GOD the praise and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The COLOR of God's Hand
My journey in the last 4 years has been a lot of things. ... but most of its been surprising ... in a lot of good ways. You guys have read about challenges, hardship, happiness, pain, loss, confusion, relief ... I could go on and on but all have shaped this road I'm traveling.
My mouth was to the floor and of course for those of you who know me well, the tears started flowing. I could not believe that ADCOLOR was recognizing ME. I guess I do contribute after all. ; ) I represent the finished project for those wonderful ads being aired, hung, posted and distributed ... around the country. And they represent my culture, my people ... ME.
Last year I learned about an organization that recognizes the achievements of diverse advertising industry leaders. ADCOLOR. Google it! After hearing and seeing what this initiative contributes to an industry that I audition and cast for, I was on board.
After talking over ideas with one of my friends who introduced me to ADCOLOR, I decided I wanted to be a part of a committee. But most of the people involved in this organization are the agencies, advertisers and creative teams behind the brands. So initially I thought, my strong point would be to bring the "talent" side to the initiative more specifically, interviewing the people responsible for opening the doors for this kind of marketing, who create the ads and ultimately keep me auditioning. It didn't quite work out that way but I was still able to volunteer my services and I was super happy about that. It was one of the greatest experiences in my life.
Attending the awards show and conference in Miami last year opened up so many opportunities for me to network and make some really great connections. I've kept in contact with those connections and have worked hard to build and maintain those relationships so that I can be considered for projects. All that work and initiative on my part really set something up for me that proved, yet again, GOD's hand in my life.
Yesterday I attended one of several ADCOLOR meetings we'll have leading up to the show and conference. In a nutshell, we discussed nominations, sponsors, possibilities, the flow, etc. The entire time, I'm thinking OK, how can I step up my contribution to this year's event? I definitely still want to represent the "talent" side because after all, that is my strong point.
Everyone has said something or made a contribution and I'm still "thinking" ... about what to say??? Just say it!!!! The meeting is wrapping up and instead of voicing anything, I decide well I'll take two of the leaders aside and express a few things and see where it leads. As Tiffany, the Founder of this awesome organization wraps and finalizes the meeting, she talks about some special person deserving of this title, that contributes to the industry and so on. Then my picture pops up on the screen. MEEEEEEE??! WTH? UNBELIEVABLE!!! I was named MS. ADCOLOR 2011. I ... almost ... fell ... out ... my ... chair. Instead I did more of a meltdown in the chair, hence almost sliding out of it. LOL.
My mouth was to the floor and of course for those of you who know me well, the tears started flowing. I could not believe that ADCOLOR was recognizing ME. I guess I do contribute after all. ; ) I represent the finished project for those wonderful ads being aired, hung, posted and distributed ... around the country. And they represent my culture, my people ... ME.
I am so excited about heading to L.A. for this year's event. What in the world am I going to wear?
UNTIL NEXT TIME ... HE may not come when you want HIM, BUT HE IS ALWAYS ON TIME. *pageant wave*
Sunday, April 24, 2011
La Resurrección de Sylvia
She died on October 16, 1991. Its like yesterday to me. I was extremely close to my grandmother. As close as a child could be to their mother. When she died, I can promise you a big chunk of my heart just crumbled up and died. My grandmother played a big part in raising me. She never had any daughters, just two boys but when I was born I seemed to be her litte special gift from GOD. I'm serious. I know most grandparents spoil their grand kids, but this relationship was beyond a grandparents love. There was certainly something very special about GOD choosing this grandmother for me.
I love(d) all my grandparents. And they have all helped me in many ways. They cared for me and provided for me. But something about Sylvia T. Pridgeon (Peggy) was extraordinary. She touched so many people in her 58 years. Her funeral was that of a princess or pop star. At the time, my father was a police corporal, and we had police escorts from the church in Maryland to the cemetery in DC ... motorcyles, squad cars, officers at posts. There were no cars getting through this funeral procession. And if they even tried, it was not a good day for them. lol.
I can remember riding in the limo looking out the back window in amazement. All this for my grandmother? All these people came out to celebrate her life. They were all very affected by her life and her passing. I'd never personally seen that amount of people at a funeral other than when a friend had gotten killed at a young age, which was happening alot around that time. It was historic for me.
Recently, in dealing with LIFE, I had an epiphany. That although my grandmother touched so many lives, I feel like GOD brought her here especially for me. And he took her away because of me. There were some lessons I was to learn while she was here, but more importantly her death would be a greater teacher of things I would need to remember and get through as an adult. GOD used my grandmother to instill some principles, values, creativity, and love in me that I would need to utilize during my time here.
But for the pain I experienced losing her, I've forgotten some of those things she taught me. Today the light bulb turned on and I remember all too well of how she expected me to act, what to do, what to say and how to say it. My grandmother let me get away with a lot but don't get it twisted, she did not play. You can be cute, popular, spoiled and have all the latest gear, but you better do it with some manners and respect. In other words...act like you got some damn sense.
She was my Angel. My own personal messenger from GOD. When you're young, even though kids are smart, it may take a while for them to form their own personal relationship with GOD. We don't have enough experiences or relationships to grow from. Your parents, grandparents and other family are there to help you, to teach you, to bring you up and through. If you have a good well rounded foundation you're rooted in, then you are certainly BLESSED.
It's important to me that I resurrect all that she taught me because I have to believe that GOD used her for that purpose. Not just the bible, preacher, or minister has to convince me. Because she lived I know HE lives. Today I don't think of my grandmother in the cemetery, her spirit is not there. Her spirit has always been with me.
Today in remembering Christ's resurrection and all HE has done to bring us closer to GOD, also remember others that GOD has brought in and through your life to lay a strong foundation for it.
Happy Easter Grandma and to everyone reading this blog.
Until Next Time...Remember, Easter says you can put the TRUTH in the grave, but it won't stay there.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
FAITH State of Mind
I started to name this entry New York State of Mind. I book jobs that can take me anywhere in the country but my dream has taken shape here. But not everyone's course in life will bring them to the Big Apple. Your leap of FAITH can start or take you any place really.
Sometimes when I'm headed to an audition, a meeting or just hanging out with friends, I can't believe I'm here. It's amazing to me that I quit my job four years ago to pursue a professional career as a model and actress and HOST. ;) I actually did that? WOW!
It is truly a blessing how far I've come, how much I've accomplished and the number of amazing experiences I've been able to be a part of. I've met so many incredible people that have really helped shape this journey, my career goals and my heart. I've had tremendous support from family, friends and people I barely know. That all says alot about my decision to make this career transition ... and that it was the right move.
New York, if you can make here, you can make it anywhere. Those words resonate everytime I book a job I thought only a dream. Everytime I take advantage of an opportunity I may not have had had I stayed in Maryland and at my same job or everytime I see myself on a shelf, a billboard or in a window. It's a bit crazy to see myself in ad. All I can do is smile and thank GOD.
I still have alot I want to do. But just because I'm not a household name doesn't discount the success I've had in this business. The people who should know me, will know me. The jobs I should book, I will. I try not to get caught up in why I didn't book a certain client. It seems to always come back around. The fact that I was requested and seen is a big step.
My FAITH, which started this journey, has kept me from quitting and has encouraged me to continue on. My life may not be what I want it to be but its more important that it's what GOD wants it to be. I'm not here to be a Tyra, a Shaun (Access Hollywood) or a Queen Latifah, but they all have inspired my goals.
I'm Monique Pridgeon. A star in my own right. A young lady who stepped out on FAITH to pursue a dream, an aspiration, a goal ... my destiny.
Whatever it is you want to do in life, DO IT! I can't stress that sentiment enough. Utilize your FAITH to get the ball rolling. Wherever you are, START. How committed, motivated and most definitely how passionate you are, will determine how FAITHFUL you are to just doing what your heart desires. To rely on your FAITH is to rely on GOD. Believe in yourself and trust in HIM.
Until next time ... get into a FAITH STATE OF MIND.
Sometimes when I'm headed to an audition, a meeting or just hanging out with friends, I can't believe I'm here. It's amazing to me that I quit my job four years ago to pursue a professional career as a model and actress and HOST. ;) I actually did that? WOW!
It is truly a blessing how far I've come, how much I've accomplished and the number of amazing experiences I've been able to be a part of. I've met so many incredible people that have really helped shape this journey, my career goals and my heart. I've had tremendous support from family, friends and people I barely know. That all says alot about my decision to make this career transition ... and that it was the right move.
New York, if you can make here, you can make it anywhere. Those words resonate everytime I book a job I thought only a dream. Everytime I take advantage of an opportunity I may not have had had I stayed in Maryland and at my same job or everytime I see myself on a shelf, a billboard or in a window. It's a bit crazy to see myself in ad. All I can do is smile and thank GOD.
I still have alot I want to do. But just because I'm not a household name doesn't discount the success I've had in this business. The people who should know me, will know me. The jobs I should book, I will. I try not to get caught up in why I didn't book a certain client. It seems to always come back around. The fact that I was requested and seen is a big step.
My FAITH, which started this journey, has kept me from quitting and has encouraged me to continue on. My life may not be what I want it to be but its more important that it's what GOD wants it to be. I'm not here to be a Tyra, a Shaun (Access Hollywood) or a Queen Latifah, but they all have inspired my goals.
I'm Monique Pridgeon. A star in my own right. A young lady who stepped out on FAITH to pursue a dream, an aspiration, a goal ... my destiny.
Whatever it is you want to do in life, DO IT! I can't stress that sentiment enough. Utilize your FAITH to get the ball rolling. Wherever you are, START. How committed, motivated and most definitely how passionate you are, will determine how FAITHFUL you are to just doing what your heart desires. To rely on your FAITH is to rely on GOD. Believe in yourself and trust in HIM.
Until next time ... get into a FAITH STATE OF MIND.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Model Behavior
I've been fortunate in this industry to be considered a model and an actress. I didn't realize how much a difference it was between the two. While the views expressed in this blog don't go for all models and actors, there is something certainly to be said about the difference between the attitudes and personalities of both.
I was blessed to book a 4 day shoot this past week. It was on location in Connecticut. Ten talent were booked and were divided into two groups. Everyone was attractive, but it was clear who the "actors" were and who the "model's" were. I was a part of the "model" group.
My experience on this shoot was truly overwhelming. Normally, no matter how many talent, whether its on location or local, relationships are formed. Sometimes those relationships last long after a job is completed. I've made a lot of wonderful friends on shoots. Friendships that have help add to my longevity in this industry, that have been supportive and that have just been a blessing to my life as a whole. This was not the case on this shoot.
Honestly, I could not wait to get back home. The crew, makeup artists and stylists were all very cool. But there were a mix of personalities on this shoot that I could definitely due without. I came home mentally exhausted, not just from the long days of working on the shoot but from the affect of the personalities in my group in particular.
First up, the 40 year old half Russian with the Napoleon complex who didn't even know who Kathy Lee was and stated that the world could do without hip hop. This guy here ... I would leave this job with a head full of information about how many businesses he owned, how old his wife was when he met her, how long he's been married, how beautiful his wife is, why they aren't having kids, situations that happened between him and his wife's family, things about his brother, his parents, trips, weed, enemas, all of his opinions about everything and barely getting a word in edge wise to respond, expand, or even just take one thing in at a time and process it. He talked about himself constantly. His voice was loud and annoying and I had to dig down deep a few times...OK the whole time to not just tell this dude to shut the you know what up. It was apparent that he got on everyone's nerves. I'm pretty certain his actions were probably the main reason the other group isolated themselves from us. I was guilty by association.
Then there was the 25 year old model who's voice was a mix between Bette Midler and a valley girl. She got on my nerves at times as well, but I clicked more with her. She knew everything but didn't no a thing. If you get what I mean. She made statements that were just ignorant and just not true. I'm like where is she getting this information from. How can somebody just make statements that are so false but defend them so adamantly. I just kept my mouth shut most of the time. Because sometimes you just can't tell people anything without a debate or them thinking you think you know everything. One day I asked her was she on twitter and she replied no. I went on to tell her that I'm working on branding myself so it was only natural to get on twitter. She asked did I have a blog, but then proceeded to say something to the affect that pretty much if I'm not a "somebody" nobody really cares what you're blogging. HA!!! Did she just really say that to me? Somebody done told her wrong or in this case, not at all.
Then there was the 30 year old soft spoken, fair skinned model. She reminded me of Jackie Kennedy, mainly because of how she was styled for the shoot. She "seemed" sweet but something didn't feel one hundred about her. She and the second guy in my group, the tall ethnically ambiguous male model, really clicked. And there was me, the age ambiguous (lol) African American. The only one on the shoot, which I thought was odd, because African American men auditioned for this. But it didn't matter to me either way. I booked it and I was there to do a job.
Usually, everyone plans to eat together. It's just sort of a ritual, especially when you are away on a shoot. We become a family of sorts and this is one shoot I didn't feel that connection. Not that I'm seeking it or planning to make lasting relationships with all or any of these individuals, its just an unspoken comradery. We're all leaving behind loved ones for an extended period of time so its just natural to form a bond. The 25 year old was more of a free spirit, she hung out with 2 of the production crew members more so. The sweet one, the obnoxious one, and the cool guy formed their little click. And then there was me. I ate dinner by myself one night. It was cool though. The other group stuck together as a whole but were more of my personality. How fun they were really came out in their acting during their scenes. My group thought they were being a bit over the top. I thought they were great.
On set, the director constantly asked my group to amp up the energy level but it was like a feat for them. Did they not understand that this was a commercial shoot? Its all about high energy and fun. We're at a casino ... hellooo! But they stayed true to their "model" selves and I was left to represent for me and not the group. Off the set, there were times that I would go into a completely other holding room, just to get away from their annoyances.
I found out later that the other group gave out names to a couple of the individuals in our group and stated that "clearly, I didn't belong on their team." LOL. But I know their comments were based really on my attitude compared to the others. I heard that two of the models in my group were disrespectful to the wardrobe assistant and to one of the makeup artists. I couldn't believe it. After wiping her arm pits with a wet wipe, she threw it at the makeup artist to trash and the other ordered the wardrobe assistant where to hang his clothes.
This behavior and these attitudes are new for me. I have sensed "attitude" at some auditions. But attitude usually works on the runway, not in many commercials. And unless a casting director and/or client is just crazy about how you look, you will not book a job that way. I'm assuming besides the way they look, my group did well in the audition but I gotta believe that this experience was a test for me. GOD puts us in situations to show us things about others and more importantly things about ourselves.
The saying "treat people how you want to be treated" was never more embedded in my head than during this experience. The selfishness and complaining displayed during this shoot was a pain in my entire body. Not to mention the rudeness.
On the trip up to Connecticut, all but two people in my group was in my van. The "sweet" one rode in the "actors" van and the "cool silly model" joined us later that evening. He was booked on another shoot earlier that day. By this time we didn't know what the set up was. But on the trip back, the other van that held the "actors" was packed. I had to believe that no one wanted to ride 2 hours back to NYC with the talkative 40 year old. I even had a seat to myself. The "sweet" one naturally went to the van she rode up in and her buddy, "the cool silly model", followed. We had one of the "actors" in our van on the way up but he opted to ride back with his group. Which was understandable, he had formed his bond with them during the shoot.
I had been sitting in the van for about 20 minutes, so before we got on the road back to NYC, I decided to go the bathroom one more time. I'm gone 5 minutes, come back to the van and I see that the "sweet one" and the "cool guy" have joined us. But not only that, my bag is moved to the seat in front of where I was sitting and ms. "sweet one" is sitting in my seat. #1 you didn't ride up in this van, #2 you chose to ride back in the van you came in and now #3 you gonna move my stuff and sit where I was sitting. And not only that the people that remained in the van didn't bother to say, hey Monique is sitting there???? Really??? Everything I had held in for 4 days, was surely about to burst all up and through that van.
"Oh you want to sit here?" Ahhh yes I do because that's where I was sitting. And not to make a big deal about it, but its the principle. How you gonna just move my purse and proceed to make yourself comfortable where I obviously was sitting. The nerve. But I pulled it together quickly, got my seat back, put my earplugs in, turned up the ipod and zoned out. Trying not to process everything that happened in those four days was hard. It was a lot to digest. But I manage to sleep a little.
There are some insensitive people out here but I can't control anyones actions but my own and pray for everyone else. As I continue to work on me, that process is even more important to me. I don't ever want to be a thorn in anyones side. I want to have a genuine attitude, with genuine intentions. No you don't have be my friend, no we don't have to hang out but it says alot that you can respect others and be kind to them without knowng them well.
So glad to be removed from that nonsense. But am stronger because of it.
Until next time ... Model your behavior after someone who treats others well.
I was blessed to book a 4 day shoot this past week. It was on location in Connecticut. Ten talent were booked and were divided into two groups. Everyone was attractive, but it was clear who the "actors" were and who the "model's" were. I was a part of the "model" group.
My experience on this shoot was truly overwhelming. Normally, no matter how many talent, whether its on location or local, relationships are formed. Sometimes those relationships last long after a job is completed. I've made a lot of wonderful friends on shoots. Friendships that have help add to my longevity in this industry, that have been supportive and that have just been a blessing to my life as a whole. This was not the case on this shoot.
Honestly, I could not wait to get back home. The crew, makeup artists and stylists were all very cool. But there were a mix of personalities on this shoot that I could definitely due without. I came home mentally exhausted, not just from the long days of working on the shoot but from the affect of the personalities in my group in particular.
First up, the 40 year old half Russian with the Napoleon complex who didn't even know who Kathy Lee was and stated that the world could do without hip hop. This guy here ... I would leave this job with a head full of information about how many businesses he owned, how old his wife was when he met her, how long he's been married, how beautiful his wife is, why they aren't having kids, situations that happened between him and his wife's family, things about his brother, his parents, trips, weed, enemas, all of his opinions about everything and barely getting a word in edge wise to respond, expand, or even just take one thing in at a time and process it. He talked about himself constantly. His voice was loud and annoying and I had to dig down deep a few times...OK the whole time to not just tell this dude to shut the you know what up. It was apparent that he got on everyone's nerves. I'm pretty certain his actions were probably the main reason the other group isolated themselves from us. I was guilty by association.
Then there was the 25 year old model who's voice was a mix between Bette Midler and a valley girl. She got on my nerves at times as well, but I clicked more with her. She knew everything but didn't no a thing. If you get what I mean. She made statements that were just ignorant and just not true. I'm like where is she getting this information from. How can somebody just make statements that are so false but defend them so adamantly. I just kept my mouth shut most of the time. Because sometimes you just can't tell people anything without a debate or them thinking you think you know everything. One day I asked her was she on twitter and she replied no. I went on to tell her that I'm working on branding myself so it was only natural to get on twitter. She asked did I have a blog, but then proceeded to say something to the affect that pretty much if I'm not a "somebody" nobody really cares what you're blogging. HA!!! Did she just really say that to me? Somebody done told her wrong or in this case, not at all.
Then there was the 30 year old soft spoken, fair skinned model. She reminded me of Jackie Kennedy, mainly because of how she was styled for the shoot. She "seemed" sweet but something didn't feel one hundred about her. She and the second guy in my group, the tall ethnically ambiguous male model, really clicked. And there was me, the age ambiguous (lol) African American. The only one on the shoot, which I thought was odd, because African American men auditioned for this. But it didn't matter to me either way. I booked it and I was there to do a job.
Usually, everyone plans to eat together. It's just sort of a ritual, especially when you are away on a shoot. We become a family of sorts and this is one shoot I didn't feel that connection. Not that I'm seeking it or planning to make lasting relationships with all or any of these individuals, its just an unspoken comradery. We're all leaving behind loved ones for an extended period of time so its just natural to form a bond. The 25 year old was more of a free spirit, she hung out with 2 of the production crew members more so. The sweet one, the obnoxious one, and the cool guy formed their little click. And then there was me. I ate dinner by myself one night. It was cool though. The other group stuck together as a whole but were more of my personality. How fun they were really came out in their acting during their scenes. My group thought they were being a bit over the top. I thought they were great.
On set, the director constantly asked my group to amp up the energy level but it was like a feat for them. Did they not understand that this was a commercial shoot? Its all about high energy and fun. We're at a casino ... hellooo! But they stayed true to their "model" selves and I was left to represent for me and not the group. Off the set, there were times that I would go into a completely other holding room, just to get away from their annoyances.
I found out later that the other group gave out names to a couple of the individuals in our group and stated that "clearly, I didn't belong on their team." LOL. But I know their comments were based really on my attitude compared to the others. I heard that two of the models in my group were disrespectful to the wardrobe assistant and to one of the makeup artists. I couldn't believe it. After wiping her arm pits with a wet wipe, she threw it at the makeup artist to trash and the other ordered the wardrobe assistant where to hang his clothes.
This behavior and these attitudes are new for me. I have sensed "attitude" at some auditions. But attitude usually works on the runway, not in many commercials. And unless a casting director and/or client is just crazy about how you look, you will not book a job that way. I'm assuming besides the way they look, my group did well in the audition but I gotta believe that this experience was a test for me. GOD puts us in situations to show us things about others and more importantly things about ourselves.
The saying "treat people how you want to be treated" was never more embedded in my head than during this experience. The selfishness and complaining displayed during this shoot was a pain in my entire body. Not to mention the rudeness.
On the trip up to Connecticut, all but two people in my group was in my van. The "sweet" one rode in the "actors" van and the "cool silly model" joined us later that evening. He was booked on another shoot earlier that day. By this time we didn't know what the set up was. But on the trip back, the other van that held the "actors" was packed. I had to believe that no one wanted to ride 2 hours back to NYC with the talkative 40 year old. I even had a seat to myself. The "sweet" one naturally went to the van she rode up in and her buddy, "the cool silly model", followed. We had one of the "actors" in our van on the way up but he opted to ride back with his group. Which was understandable, he had formed his bond with them during the shoot.
I had been sitting in the van for about 20 minutes, so before we got on the road back to NYC, I decided to go the bathroom one more time. I'm gone 5 minutes, come back to the van and I see that the "sweet one" and the "cool guy" have joined us. But not only that, my bag is moved to the seat in front of where I was sitting and ms. "sweet one" is sitting in my seat. #1 you didn't ride up in this van, #2 you chose to ride back in the van you came in and now #3 you gonna move my stuff and sit where I was sitting. And not only that the people that remained in the van didn't bother to say, hey Monique is sitting there???? Really??? Everything I had held in for 4 days, was surely about to burst all up and through that van.
"Oh you want to sit here?" Ahhh yes I do because that's where I was sitting. And not to make a big deal about it, but its the principle. How you gonna just move my purse and proceed to make yourself comfortable where I obviously was sitting. The nerve. But I pulled it together quickly, got my seat back, put my earplugs in, turned up the ipod and zoned out. Trying not to process everything that happened in those four days was hard. It was a lot to digest. But I manage to sleep a little.
There are some insensitive people out here but I can't control anyones actions but my own and pray for everyone else. As I continue to work on me, that process is even more important to me. I don't ever want to be a thorn in anyones side. I want to have a genuine attitude, with genuine intentions. No you don't have be my friend, no we don't have to hang out but it says alot that you can respect others and be kind to them without knowng them well.
So glad to be removed from that nonsense. But am stronger because of it.
Until next time ... Model your behavior after someone who treats others well.
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