Learning To Endure

The past month and half has been busy because auditions and castings have picked up tremendously for me. It has been a slow challenging year to say the least. In October I auditioned every week, about 2-3 times a week. Awesome sauce!  What is even more exciting for most of those appointments I was put on hold (being highly considered or top choice). I was on hold for six jobs in one week. I hadn't been on hold for that many jobs, at one time, in years. One year I was on hold for seven jobs and I booked four out of the seven. So surely, this time, I would have the same success, right? I'm much further along in my career ... a seasoned vet!  After a long drought the bookings are about to come on through.

Ummmmm NOPE! I booked one job. Now, don't get me wrong, I am thankful BUT a couple of those jobs were real healthy on the rate. But no dice. I was disappointed but not to the extent of tears. I just said ok GOD, you've got this. Something bigger is in store, I just gotta wait on it. In the meantime, I just need to prepare for what's to come.  After the six holds and five releases, I got two more holds. Ok for sure, I'm gonna book something. Nope! Released! Again! Both jobs. All I could do is smile because surely something amazing is around the corner. I know this in my heart and spirit.

What I have learned this year, honestly,  in the last month and a half, is how to endure the disappointments. I would state before that it doesn't get easier not booking the job, no matter how long you've been in the business. But I have to say in my present moment I beg to differ. What I know for sure is that GOD is in control. He has already proven that I am meant to be in this industry by the success I have already had, the tons of people who come up to me and say I inspire them, the eight recent holds and the constant reminder, encouragement, love and support I get from my friends and family.  I'm meant to be here and I am talented enough to be here. A release, hell, a booking doesn't 100% confirm that. There have been plenty of people not so talented or not even serious about being in this industry, get the job. I have to know despite who the client chooses for the job that that has nothing to do with me because I showed up, did my job and the rest is out of my control. Auditioning is preparation ... whether its in the casting room or in your living room.

But learning to completely rely on God has taught me the job doesn't give me provision but HE does. We too often times make our lives so much harder than it has to be. All God wants for us is to surrender to HIM so that He can show us how amazing and faithful He is. Surrendering doesn't mean giving up on your passion or dream but trusting in the gift GOD has given you and doing the work to prepare for the blessing God has in store for you ... which is usually bigger than we could even wrap our heads around. Doesn't that you get you excited for whats to come?

It may even come in a different form of what or how we perceive but it doesn't matter because we are  prepared to receive IT, whatever IT is. GOD is something else.

So if you are in a place of giving up and quitting. DON'T! Maybe you need clarity about where you are right now. Am I good enough? Am I too old? Why did I set out to do this? Why am I constantly up for the job but am not hired? ASK GOD the questions you want to know so that you are not receiving the wrong message from outside influences. You are good enough. You are successful. You are talented and meant to be right where you are. Be present in that moment. Accept it and move forward in it. I promise you what GOD will reveal will take you to another level in every level of your life.

Until Next Time: Pray, Prepare and God will Present.

Colossians 1:9-12 ... Continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. 

Wasted Talent

Hey errrrrbody as they say it in the DC area.  It's been a while since I've been on the blog but life happens. I know some of my blogs can be somewhat repetitious. "I'm tired of this industry. I got released again. I ain't auditioned in weeks. Somebody I thought was a friend -Aint!" You know just blowing off steam trying to handle life the best way I know how but hoping to help someone, including myself in the process.

Since my last post, I have booked a few jobs (Thankful)... direct bookings at that! Which is sweet. For those who may not be familiar with what a direct booking is, it means I was booked directly from my pictures. I didn't have to go in for a casting or audition. Throughout my career I've had some really nice ones come along. Recently, I was on hold for two nice jobs I went in for. I mean one could have put me in a different financial bracket. OK, not really BUT let's just say I could pay off some thangs!! For real, that last one I didn't book hurt my feelings. I mean I cried a little, shouted at GOD and then ate a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream. Ice cream makes everything better. But I've gotten through the blow and am working on some new projects and trying to re-birth some others.

I went out to Cali the end of June to reboot! I spent a week out there clearing my mind but also maximizing my time by visiting agencies and scheduling a photoshoot to update my portfolio. Here's one of my favorite images from the shoot!

I've been wearing my hair natural for almost two years now so I wanted to get some more looks with it in its new ... well original state. I've been getting tons of amazing feedback! I just need to book some work y'all. Ugh! I digress. I also met up with some friends out there who are also in the business and I managed to work in some fun too.

But what I will tell you about being in the industry I'm in, is that you will either quit or you will realize those "other" talents you have so that you can one, survive and two, keep busy enough to avoid driving yourself crazy waiting for your agent to call.  Sure, I've known for some time what other things I'm good at but I've been a lazy uncommitted procrastinator with no excuse.

We all want things to just be easy. Sometimes I'm like why couldn't my parents be rich or you know when something goes wrong in your house or your car, you wish you had someone in your family you could call to come fix it ... like for free. I mean can I have some doctors or dentists in my family. I'm not gon even go into these prices dentist are charging - I mean you have to damn near finance getting your teeth clean. No shade, I'm just sayin' - shout out to all my DDS's.

But anyway, back to the subject at hand.  There are some things I've had conjuring up as of late. Some great ideas that I think would really take off if I just get serious and focused, i.e. turn of Basketball Wives, Love and Hip Hop, The Braxtons .... HASHTAG DONTJUDGEME. Y'all know reality TV will suck you in. TV in general for all you Scandal and How to Get Away From Murder folks. Un hun. But as much as I get all caught up in the madness of crazy TV,  I could certainly choose to spend my time more wisely. There has to be a level of sacrifice to get the things you want. And what I want to be is happy, at peace, out of debt and NOT still busting my butt going to these casting and auditions as if I just started in this business. Jesus what is going on? I'm not saying I gotta be Zoe or Taraji (granted they do film and TV but you know what I'm saying) out this piece but I'm getting older and my mind and body just ain't what it used to be. HASHTAG EASYBUTTON ... Pleeeeease. OK, I'm sorry. Maybe this blog should be called something else like "Complaining,Venting and Gettin' Off the Subject". But that's what blogs are for right? To share your thoughts and feelings so you don't lose it on somebody or lose yourself. I'm just trying to let go and let GOD.

Any ole ways, I don't always know what HE's doing or why things don't go my way, but I Love GOD. Amidst the jokes and sarcasm, I know HE is real. HE continues to provide, comfort and protect me. And I certainly have much to be appreciative of. I've been successful as a model and commercial actress and I've done more than most. But boy does He have a way of whipping you into shape. He will squeeze everything out of you to get you where HE needs you to be. I've been blessed to be very creative, kinda cute and somewhat funny. But my creativity is what's going to push me to another level of reward, fulfillment ... greatness.  

Everyday I decide to just wake up and half ass or do nothing ... I push further away from my destiny. Today I am not all I could be ... spiritually, mentally or professionally. But it's time for me to stop focusing on this one side of me that's already been successful. Sure there are other levels I'd like to get to as a model and actress but I will have to create more avenues to get there, not necessarily because I have to but because I can. No, this blog entry isn't profound but a wake up call. I'm tired of waiting for other people to give me an opportunity. Feel me? Sometimes I wish it were easier, but if it were, everyone would do it.   

I hope I'm helping someone here because just writing this is getting me excited about all that I am capable of doing. What's your current situation? Have you applied your other skills to creating something outside of what you already do? Are you fully utilizing your talents and gifts? "Do not neglect your gift ... " 1 Timothy 4:14. HASHTAG NOTETOSELF.

I'm challenging you (and myself) to step out of your comfort zones, get pumped and riled up, focus, commit and DO SOMETHING ... ELSE!

Until Next Time ... Watch this awesome sermon from T.D. Jake's: https://youtu.be/DWOFcTc3K00

It inspired me so much.

*If for some reason the link gets deleted or you are having issues opening, copy and paste in your browser or google T.D. Jake's "Cheering You On". Its from his Aug 9, 2015 service. Enjoy!

Value in the Valley

If you are going to bring forth anything in your career, your marriage, or your life; if you're going to develop anything in your character; if you're going to be fruitful,  it will come through the things you suffer.  You will enter into strength through sorrow. - Woman Thou Art Loosed Bible.

Lord Have Mercy.  Woooooooh! It has been a challenging year for me.  I joined the union (SAG) and I have not booked one commercial. The commercial auditions have been few and far between and I can't even seem to get a callback. If I ever needed a miracle it is NOW. But that's how I feel.  GOD is in control and no matter how much I want things to change ... right now... in an instant ... the challenges just keep coming ... one after another.  In other words .. . I am going to have to fight for my career, for my joy, for peace ... for everything God has for me.

I quit #345! Yup, ready to give it up and turn it lose (remember that song by EnVogue) because it's hard. It hurts. It's frustrating. I'm tired. You've heard it all before ... I know, and I'm still here right? ... having persevered. This is just another valley in my career and it's going to make me stronger right? Well of course it is ... cause I'm still in it. But what about the "life" stuff that's going on too. Ugggh. Ok ... Let me just focus on my career at this point.

I've been in this industry a little over 8 years now. Not very long but long enough to be experienced. So this is what I do. I am a professional. I'm taking classes and networking hoping to grow in my craft and stand out. However, as I grow and change, the industry is changing ... and not in my favor.  Now, a large percentage of commercial auditions are non-union. Well that stinks for me because I've graduated to this high honor of being a part of the prestigious Screen Actors Guild (make sure you say that in like a deep announcer voice).  Well, while I'm making my way up the ladder (more like a step stool) ... among other prestigious actors, I will go hard and be booking tons of print work until my next big national commercial booking. Ummm not so much because the "industry" now wants to add video portions to print work because of the Internet and these castings are only open to non-union folks. So look at there, another reason for me to be frustrated and give up what I've worked so hard for. The devil is liar.

Then I think, well have I done all that I can do to get where I need to be? Let's face it it's not all up to me.  I have other people deciding my fate. If I'm not the "right" fit, I will not book the job. No matter how well I did in the audition. No matter how cute my boo thinks I am, I may not be the beauty they are looking for.  But then that's what is also frustrating. If you want women with long hair, why am I here?  If I'm not the right physique, why am I here? Can y'all be more specific so I can be more specific with my time. But half the time, if not most,  these folks don't know what they want.  (insert hissy fit)

Earlier this year I got called in for a Diabetes audition. The part wasn't specific so why should I think I don't fit whatever part or character they are looking for.  I get to the audition and the casting director pulls me in his office and says, "Monique, I think you're gonna be too thin for this role." Say what now? I just trekked all the way from Maryland (visiting my family) to get here for this union spot that could help me pay off some things and I ain't even right for the part?  (insert gas face and me faking like I'm ok with this ... I am actress after all).  I pulled it together and I went in there with my aspirational looking self and did my best. Sometimes your best isn't good enough ... for them. But you have to own what you do and be fine with it.  Leave it in the room (and how easy that ... it aint! Just saying)

In my anguish, heartache, frustration, sadness and anger I go in with prayer, reading, writing in my journal, networking, taking notes, reaching out to folks for encouragement, even doing a fast. Things I should be doing everyday or more often anyway (sigh). But in doing all of the above I came across this:  We all have dreams but if they are "our" dreams and we have not consulted our Heavenly Father, then they lack vision and purpose toward a higher goal.  

There is more to me than being in a commercial or featured in print ads, obviously. I'm a sister, aunt, friend, daughter ... I'm pretty dynamic.  I'm organized and pretty creative. Let's not talk about the projects I've started and why they are just sitting there waiting to be dusted off and put to use.  Maybe my vision is to narrow minded.  I'm not thinking big enough.  I need to buckle down and focus on God's plans, not my own. His will be the only to succeed anyways.  So, even if I wasn't right for the part, that experience is part of HIS plan and it will serve a higher purpose.  I have know that.

Until Next Time ... Don't become preoccupied with pain ... this is not the time to give up. PUSH because God is about to birth a promise through you. Cry if you must, and groan if you have to, but keep on PUSHING.  God has promised that if it is to come into the world, it has to push through you. -Woman Thou Art Loosed Bible

I've Come to Far to Give Up

One morning perusing Facebook I came across something a friend wrote. "If life is what you make it, then I choose to make it!"   I have often said the first part of that quote to friends, family and people I mentor but the way my friend put it, "I choose to make it" resonated with me.

Work has been very slow.  It has been a bit frustrating but I'm hanging in there.  The auditions are few and far between and I know in large part that has to do with my union status.  One casting director informed me that 60-75% of the commercial work is non-union.  Big blow and very discouraging.  But I've had some holds (being highly considered) and have booked a couple small jobs. I'm thankful!

Of course, this isn't the first time, that what seems to be a halt in my career has happened but even having been in this business for a while and experiencing amazing success, there are times I feel like giving it up, walking away ...  calling it quits! Yup! : /  It's hard y'all.  Especially if you don't feel like you are where you are supposed to be.

I think of all the things I want to do in my life and sometimes those things seem so far fetched especially being in the business I'm in.  It is so up and down. Consistency doesn't even seem to exist. I mean even when you're hot it doesn't seem like the work you're getting will ever be enough ...(money).  You're on set checking your phone, waiting for the call for the next job.

Over the years I've learned to handle the slow periods a lot better but I never get used to it it seems. Even though I know GOD is working on my behalf I can still get tempted by my flesh to think
that things are falling apart or not working.  But I know that not to be true at all.  I've been down this road tons of times and GOD has always seen me through.  So why can't I just deal with it and stop complaining, feeling discourage and fed up? Human nature I suppose.  

At a time like this it is important that I focus on all that GOD has already blessed me with.  I read where someone said instead of doing a vision board, make an accomplishment board and focus on those things. Good idea right? I've been on national television, national ads, have met people I would have never thought I'd meet, I'm living in the city of dreams and opportunities are at my feet. Like really, Monique? I've accomplished more than most people have thought of.  All the reasons to get away from the pity party I wanna sometimes throw myself.

These times most importantly, help me understand why I must have a relationship with Jesus. Why I need to stay connected to HIM.  HE wants the very best for me so I should always want the very best for myself even when things aren't going the way I would like. I have come to far to just give up. So I get it together, get fueled by HIS word and put in some work.

Acting and modeling aren't my only talents/gifts but it is what I desire to do to make a living and GOD has opened up doors that have given me the opportunity to do it.  I don't hold all the cards but I must face my challenges and see them as opportunity to grow. There is always work to be done even if I'm not booking as much as would like.  Elizabeth Gilbert says: "Every single obstacle, challenge and temptation that you learn to manage will help you gain your talents and powers, and shed your fears.  

So I'm working on strengthening my gift, my talents, my relationships... ME!! I'm taking classes, writing, networking, working out and doing what's necessary to prepare myself for what HE's getting ready to bless me with professionally and personally.  I'm am getting excited just thinking about it.

T.D. Jakes says "Critical opposition comes in our lives because we are blessed.  When GOD puts something down inside of you, in order to birth it out, it takes work! And in that work we will be strengthened in the inner man until we deliver that thing GOD puts inside of us."

Until Next Time .... DON'T GIVE UP! (note to self)

Union Status

I'm so late posting this but better late than never right? March 9th, 2014 marked 7 years from the time I left my 9 to 5 job in Silver Spring, Maryland to become a full-time model and commercial actress in New York City. Woo hoo! I'm still in this game of ups and downs - auditioning, going to castings, being put on hold, released or booked!

In January I was required to join the union ... SAG ... that would be the Screen Actors Guild y'all! #official! Yes I am an official union actor! I have to say it can be a bit intimidating in some ways! One, it cost a pretty penny to join and now you are among the best of the best. The latter not being a bad thing but definitely a sign that I have to step my game up.

Many actors are eligible to join SAG but many choose to hold off because of the amount of money it cost to join. But after you have booked a number of union jobs, normally about 3 for principle work you are required to join. No if ands or butts about it. If not you cannot do any SAG projects until you do so.

Seems like it should just be my choice if I want to join. However, sometimes we need to be pushed to another level. This was my destiny. Now whether I remain a union actor in good standing still remains to be seen. Read here: http://www.sagaftra.org/get-facts-about-financial-core. But I'm ready for the challenge. I mean after all I'm no big movie star making millions of dollars but it is possible to live quite comfortably as a commercial actress in the union. Read here: http://www.therichest.com/rich-list/world/5-richest-commercial-actors/

Honestly, some of my agents weren't jumping up and down because it pulls me out of the non-union pool. Which isn't a bad thing but the way the industry is set up there seems to be a lot more union work, speaking from a commercial point of view, out there.  But this is an accomplishment. Some actors never have the opportunity to be a part of such a prestigious honor ... Shoot let alone make it past a year in the industry. I've managed to make 7 years and I'm still going!! GOD has everything to do with that. And maybe a little of me ; )

But I am so thankful for my agents and the many casting directors that believe in my talent as a model and actress. I'm grateful for the huge amount of support from friends, family and people I don't even know. It has helped me work harder and be appreciative for all that has happened not just in my career but in my life.

Over the years people have asked will I ever do film or tv. I'm not pursuing it but who knows. I definitely don't turn down opportunities to grow in my craft. Now that I'm union who knows where this next chapter of my life will take me. But I'm ready! I have to be. The next door that opens could be MAJOR!!!

Check out these two blog posts recently written about me as well as my Walmart spot, currently running, that made me a must join for the union.

http://www.superwomanlifestyle.com/monique-model-proves-late-pursue-dreams/

http://thebrandistaguide.com/monique-pridgeon/ 

http://ispot.tv/a/7ThA (I play the mom in the 80's and the grandmother in the 2000's.) looks like you have to copy and paste this link.

Until next time ... Dare to dream and then take that dream, grab it by the stars and ride it to the moon!

Let It Be Healed

A few hours before my 40th birthday some information was shared with me.  It was shocking and hurtful. I couldn't even sleep through the night because it weighed so heavy on my spirit.  I tried to go through so many scenarios to make some sense of it but there were none.  It is wrong on so many levels. It's selfish and it's mean.

I thought immediately that this was a direct attack on me. I spoke with my mom and she said at one point,  Monique, it may not even be about you. I spoke with my father, and he said people have been doing this kind of thing since the beginning of time. Honestly, that's not what I wanted to hear. But I knew they were trying to help me through a tough situation.   Point blank period I was like this is wrong, its nasty and vindictive!! I was dumbfounded!

I thought about it for a week whether I would even entertain blogging about it. Not to publicize the situation but my feelings about it.  But it was on my spirit to because someone else may need to know how to deal in whatever situation they may be going through.  I have to say it is a hard pill to swallow.

BUT I have learned through this situation and all the tough and very low situations before it that I AM MADE OF SOMETHING. God would not bring me to it if HE could not bring me through it.  "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" (Job 13:15)  You don't quite know what you are made of until you've been under attack, through trial and tribulation.  You don't know how much you can endure or how much courage you have until pressure is applied to your life.

Some days you may feel like "will I make it through this mess?" "Why is this happening to me?" It's happening to you because you can handle it.   Sometimes its just the mess we need to save us.

You'll learn so many things as you mature and grow older, I hope. But one thing is for certain ... GOD IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS. Through all the disappointments, heartaches, bad decisions, regrets and sadness ... I am still here holding onto his word.  And so are you, my friend.  The bible says his grace is sufficient ... 

I have not always done the right thing. I've not always been the best daughter, sister or friend. I acknowledge that.  I'm not perfect. And I've been held accountable for my actions. But what  I do know at 40 years old that I am a good person and I am a strong person.   And throughout all the "not so good" the good definitely outweighs it.  Everyday, Im working on being a better me. And if that means going through some tough times ... then Im ready! Because GOD built me to handle whatever comes my way.

TD Jakes says don't let your flesh make decisions your head will have to deal with. If I am disciplined in my perspective then I will be victorious in my outcome.

Folks ... I've already won! 

Until Next Time ...   I know it hurts but  L E T   I T  B E   H E A L E D ...

Ready ... Set ... FORTY!!

The year was 1 9 7 4. It was January 3 around 10 in the evening at Providence Hospital in Washington, D.C. when a little light skinned baby girl with gray eyes and blond hair was born to two young kids named Frank "Duke" and Stephanie.  She would be the first grand baby girl to her fraternal grandparents, Frank "Frankie" and Sylvia "Peggy"  and the little sister to Everett, "Woo Woo".   That little girl was ME!

In just four days I will be embarking on a new decade of life. I will, by the grace of GOD be turning 40 years old.  Its pretty amazing to me that 40 years of my life have passed so quickly.  We as children want so badly to be grown and do things our older siblings or family are doing and before you know it we have reached the age of legality and soon after we have careers, are married, having children, becoming aunts and uncles, buying homes and taking care of our parents.  Life is coming full circle.

I have been so very blessed in my 39 years.  I've experienced happiness, sadness, disappointment, heartbreak, highs and lows.  Life is so amazing. Though, there is the inevitable ... death. I miss my family members and friends that have passed.  I miss them so much.  Its been over 20 years since my maternal grandmother's passing and I still grieve.  You never get over it.  Even loved ones you no longer have friendships with you miss them but everything is not meant to last forever.  Even in knowing that ... its so hard to let go of what once was.  These people were apart of your life for years and then they are just ... Gone.

I pray to GOD that he gives me strength in such situations. To help me get through knowing that everything will be OK. I imagine if I live another 40 years I will always be in prayer ... praying for some of the same things but thanking GOD for helping me through and living in the moment, appreciating what is now but thankful for what was as it has helped me become the person I am today.

WOW. 40! No one ever believes I'm as old as I am. Its pretty flattering but the reality is I am and I still have so far to go. So much more to learn.  So much more to do.  So much more to love.  So much more to see.  So much more to BE.  So many people don't make it this far so I have to believe that I'm still here for a reason.  I don't know when the Lord will call me home ... but I want HIM to say well done.  I don't want it to be any question that I didn't do my best while here on this earth. I don't want any regrets.

Thus far, I've been able to step out on faith and do the things I want to do. I bought a house. I quit my office job to become a professional full-time commercial actress and print model in New York City.  I let go of some relationships that weren't healthy.  I reconnected with some old friends and picked up with them as if we were never separated for 20 years. I've changed some of my ways and I've let go of letting other's people bull bother me. I'm still a work in progress ... whooo Lord... HELP ME!!! So much more I need to work on internally but I'm trying y'all.

I'm not married ... YET.  I don't have any children ... YET! Those things don't put me in a box but gives more to look forward to. All that GOD has promised for me is going to happen in HIS time.  Don't worry about whether I'm married, if I'm gonna have kids, or if I'm wealthy ... I'm HAPPY!!!  And I'm working on more HAPPY! The bigger picture is if I'm not already happy in my life none of those other things will make me.  I want those things to ADD to my happiness.  I don't want what others have ... I want what GOD has FOR ME!

I don't regret not settling for any guy because I NEED a man, I don't regret quitting my 9 to 5 job at 33 years of age because I NEED a job to pay my bills, I don't regret BEING HONEST with how I felt about how people have treated me, I don't regret NOT GIVING up in a business that can chew you up and spit you out, I don't regret not getting pregnant at a young age and being that "fly" momma when I'm 40 ... I'm gonna be fly at 60! Ya heard!

So everyone who is comparing themselves with others ... STOP IT!! #1 BE HAPPY that you woke up this morning with the breath of LIFE in you. #2 BE THANKFUL for the people who love you and are still around to tell you so #3 BE VULNERABLE.  It's the only way you will fully LOVE. Don't be scared about getting hurt or looking stupid. There's a blessing in the lesson. #4 BE YOURSELF! There will never be another you. Be true to the person GOD created you to be. #5 GO AFTER YOUR DREAMS ... I DON'T CARE HOW OLD YOU ARE! #5 THE DEVIL IS A LIAR #6 CRY UNTIL YOU FEEL BETTER #7 TAKE CARE of yourself. Mentally, Physically and Spiritually. Eat healthy and exercise. #8 BE KIND #9 PRAY #10 THANK GOD EVERYDAY, ALL THE TIME, WHEREVER YOU ARE.

I'm so thankful about what GOD has done for me! What HE is doing and will continue to do.  I am looking forward to new beginnings and a renewed sense of being in my 40's. I can't wait to share with you the good, the bad and the ugly. Let the journey begin!

Until then ... I wish you all a very Happy NEW YEAR!!! Praying PROSPERITY, LOVE, HEALTH AND PEACE for you in the New Year!!

Proverbs 4:10
Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. (NIV)

Proverbs 9:11
For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. (NIV)